Harry Potter in Two Minutes

[author_by_night]

Philosopher's Stone

Hagrid: Harry, you're a wizard.

Dumbledore: And I'm setting you up so you have to face your evil Potions Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.

Hermione and Ron: We will bicker as we support you.

Harry: O_o

Chamber of Secrets

Ginny: Hey look, a diary that talks! Totally awesome and not at all creepy!

A bunch of kids, a cat and a ghost: *Are petrified*

Ron and Hermione: We'll still bicker as we support you. Until one of us is petrified.

Harry: ... why me?

Prisoner of Azkaban

Ron: Hermione and I are still bickering because in the movie version of this, she steals my noble moment.

Sirius: Harry, I am your Godfather.

Harry: NOOOO!

Sirius: But that's okay, unlike in Star Wars, I'm also the good guy.

Remus: See, we had a friend named Peter who was a bit of an emo.

Harry: ... WTF?

Goblet of Fire

Krum: *Crumbles hearts*

Fleur: *Flounces*

Hermione: *Is a last resort*

Ron: *Doesn't get it*

Cedric: *Drops dead*

The Wizarding World: *Is screwed*


Order of the Phoenix

Sirius: I'm mopey.

Umbridge: I'm happy.

Ginny: I've moved on. Sort of.

Ron and Hermione: We're still bickering. But also still support you.

Sirius: Hey Bellatrix, since you're a Death Eater, why don't you prove yourself?

Bella: Sure!

Sirius: No, what I meant was - oh crap.

Fandom: *Loses its shit*

Half-Blood Prince

Draco: I'm supposed to kill Dumbledore but I DON'T WANT TO!

Snape: I'm still morally ambiguous. Even as I kill Dumbledore.

Hagrid: I'm pretty much absent from this book.

Harry and Ginny: We've found one another at last! ... Kinda.

Ron and Hermione: We're still bickering. And making one another jealous. And still supporting you.

Remus and Tonks: We're canon!

Half of fandom: W00T!

Other half: ... DO NOT WANT.

The Deathly Hallows

JK Rowling: *Cackles evily*

Fandom: OMG SHE SAID BLOOD BATH!

Blood bath: *It is*

Ron and Hermione: The bickering is mostly one sided now. And still supporting you. Even if we do make out during the final battle.

Molly: BITCH!

Younger Reader: Mummy, what's a bitch?

Harry: ... can I have a normal life now?

Comments

[timeofnoreply.livejournal.com]

...I love you.

My nose, however, does not. It's protesting loudly as to the inundation of coffee that suddenly came flooding through.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Hee, sorry! I should've warned you guys about that. ;)

[amberdulen.livejournal.com]

Haha...so true about the bloodbath. :)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Hey, I keep meaning to ask, what does your icon refer to? A fic, something canon, or is it just a random fanart?

[amberdulen.livejournal.com]

Oh, haha...it's made out of a piece of fanart that scionofgrace doodled for my ridiculous fanfic quintology (http://www.fanfiction.net/~amberdulen). It's delightfully nonspecifically Potter-ish, and the colors match my journal so well. :)

Also, your icon is making me sing to myself right now.

[govcampbell.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't have read this at lunch. My computer screen does not thank you.

I however, am ROTFL.

mummy, what's a bitch? classic...

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :D

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

You are made of levels of awesome never before encountered.
Best work break read ever *hugs*

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[melfinatheblue.livejournal.com]

This was hysterical.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I keep meaning to ask, what's the icon from? What's happening to that guy?

[melfinatheblue.livejournal.com]

It's from Dr Who/Torchwood. Cpt Jack Harkness. He spends a year chained up by an insane Time Lord, and gets killed frequently (he can't die).

[arasnaem.livejournal.com]

hahaha! nice!

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[eir-de-scania.livejournal.com]

Good ones! :-D

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[daintress.livejournal.com]

*snerk* Love that. :D

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

And I keep meaning to say I love your icon. :D

[niphredil-04.livejournal.com]

I love this: "The Wizarding World: *is screwed*" and "Mommy, what's a bitch?" I can imagine that more than one mother, reading HP with the kids, had to field *that* question.

Not to mention all of Harry's reactions, which is spot-on bewildered by all the craziness that surrounds him.

Thanks for putting a smile on my face! :D

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I can imagine that more than one mother, reading HP with the kids, had to field *that* question.

I've always wondered about that too. Then again, I've wondered the same thing about Ron mentioning "spotted dick" in GoF (spotted dick being a British pudding, I believe.)

[nundu-art.livejournal.com]

*snirkle*

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

:D

[frankieb-sq87.livejournal.com]

Hee! Did you ever read my copy of Harry Potter Abridged? It's only the first five books.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I don't believe so, but I'll do it at once! Just the name is rather intriguing. :)

[katieay.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, that was AWESOME! AAAAWWWESOME. GoF was my fave, but DH was awesome, also. Love it.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[scionofgrace.livejournal.com]

Perfect. Love it.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[valerie-valerah.livejournal.com]

lol

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[kakeochi-umai.livejournal.com]

This. Is. Fucking. BRILLIANT. XD

[miss-sophia.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!! That was both epic and classic. This is the sort of stuff I miss about fandom being less active now. &hearts

[sagacious-c.livejournal.com]

lskjf;slkdjf;slkdjf;skdjf

Loved it!

For some reason, I heard an extra large guffaw from myself at this one:

Fandom: *Loses its shit*

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading!

[so-severus.livejournal.com]

lol amazing :)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks. :D

[sea_thoughts]

Sirius: Hey Bellatrix, since you're a Death Eater, why don't you prove yourself?

Bella: Sure!

Sirius: No, what I meant was - oh crap.

Fandom: *Loses its shit*

Ahahaha, reading that makes SO nostalgic. I remember how it exploded, but little did we know what was ahead.

Remus and Tonks: We're canon!

Half of fandom: W00T!

Other half: ... DO NOT WANT.

This! XD

Fandom: OMG SHE SAID BLOOD BATH!

Blood bath: *It is*

So true.

Can you do a two minute summary of the epilogue, pleaaaaaaase?

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I remember how it exploded, but little did we know what was ahead.

I know, right? I love how it didn't even occur to many people that it was Sirius, though. And how I, at least, pshawed anyone who dared suggest it could be. And we definitely didn't think about the fact that Sirius wasn't even the worst to come!

The epilogue... hmm. Okay.

Trio and Ginny: *Were so supportive they all got married*

Potter Children: *Are named after dead people*

Teddy: *Is snogging Victoire Weasley, thus completing the OBHWF cycle*

50% of Fandom: SQUEE!

Other 50%: *Groan*

Remus, Tonks, Sirius, Fred, Dobby, Dumbledore: HEY WHAT ABOUT US?

[sea_thoughts]

Yay, thank you! :D

Teddy: *Is snogging Victoire Weasley, thus completing the OBHWF cycle*

AHAHAHAHA XD