Onions

I have always been known for defending JK Rowling.

It seems, my friends, I erred.

In her books, there is not ONE mention of onions.

That's right. She leaves them out. Nobody is mentioned cutting onions, nobody has onion soup, nobody mentions onions at all.

onions are a symbol of God. They shape of the onion is, according to the Holy Grail, the shape of Our Lord God's Holy Head. That is why we cry when we cut an onion - our souls are crying, "God, I have sinned." So if someone cries while chopping Onions, they are sinners.

Back on topic, it is therefore evident that JK Rowling hates both onions and God.

It is also clear she hates people, too. Specifically, people who wear maroon clothing. Maroon has only gotten negative mentions in the books! She thinks all people who wear Maroon are unworthy and stupid.

JK Rowling, my friends, is aliumophobic and maroonophobic, not to mention the fact that she does not do her best to represent Christianity. 

Don't let your children read her books, or they will become aliumophobic maroonophobic non-Christians too! Oh noes!

More "JKRowling is teh satanist" poking fun at

In case anyone was wondering, this article on the evils of HP partially sparked my parody earlier.

I decided to do a MST as well.

( Seductive ankles, angel!Lucius, Ginny as the model for the Virgin Mary, Jesus!Tom Riddle... )

<strike>ETA: This definitely isn't a parody, I checked the site.</strike>

<strike>ETA 2: Actually, it's possible it is parody, but the site didn't realize it and posted the article anyway. Parody or not, it's still fun to MST! (And I do have a hard time believe why someone would really think those things).</strike>

ETA 3: Definitely a parody, from camillabloom's LJ. I tihnk she either submitted it to them or they took her seriously. Ha. Well, so the MST isn't really of her, it's more of a 
co-MST now.

Just FYI...

The stupid article on the evils of HP was definitely a parody. In fact, it was written by camillabloom of LJ. 

I owe her an apology, don't I?