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author_by_nightI have always been known for defending JK Rowling.
It seems, my friends, I erred.
In her books, there is not ONE mention of onions.
That's right. She leaves them out. Nobody is mentioned cutting onions, nobody has onion soup, nobody mentions onions at all.
onions are a symbol of God. They shape of the onion is, according to the Holy Grail, the shape of Our Lord God's Holy Head. That is why we cry when we cut an onion - our souls are crying, "God, I have sinned." So if someone cries while chopping Onions, they are sinners.
Back on topic, it is therefore evident that JK Rowling hates both onions and God.
It is also clear she hates people, too. Specifically, people who wear maroon clothing. Maroon has only gotten negative mentions in the books! She thinks all people who wear Maroon are unworthy and stupid.
JK Rowling, my friends, is aliumophobic and maroonophobic, not to mention the fact that she does not do her best to represent Christianity.
Don't let your children read her books, or they will become aliumophobic maroonophobic non-Christians too! Oh noes!
It seems, my friends, I erred.
In her books, there is not ONE mention of onions.
That's right. She leaves them out. Nobody is mentioned cutting onions, nobody has onion soup, nobody mentions onions at all.
onions are a symbol of God. They shape of the onion is, according to the Holy Grail, the shape of Our Lord God's Holy Head. That is why we cry when we cut an onion - our souls are crying, "God, I have sinned." So if someone cries while chopping Onions, they are sinners.
Back on topic, it is therefore evident that JK Rowling hates both onions and God.
It is also clear she hates people, too. Specifically, people who wear maroon clothing. Maroon has only gotten negative mentions in the books! She thinks all people who wear Maroon are unworthy and stupid.
JK Rowling, my friends, is aliumophobic and maroonophobic, not to mention the fact that she does not do her best to represent Christianity.
Don't let your children read her books, or they will become aliumophobic maroonophobic non-Christians too! Oh noes!
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Date: 2006-05-06 04:12 pm (UTC)Neville Longbottom bought a large, evil-smelling green onion, a pointed purple crystal, and a rotting newt tail before the other Gryffindor boys pointed out that he was in no danger; he was a pure- blood, and therefore unlikely to be attacked. [CoS]
Rita stared at her. So did Harry. Luna, on the other hand, sang 'Weasley is our King' dreamily under her breath and stirred her drink with a cocktail onion on a stick. [OotP]
She tapped the pot again; it rose into the air, flew toward Harry, and tipped over; Mrs. Weasley slid a bowl nearly beneath it just in lime to catch the stream of thick, steaming onion soup. [HBP]
She thrust what appeared to be a green onion, a large spotted toadstool, and a considerable amount of what looked like cat litter into Ron's hands, finally pulling out a rather grubby scroll of parchment that she handed to Harry. [HBP]