author_by_night | Neither Here Nor There: Chapter Nineteen

Title: Neither Here Nor There

Fandom: Harry Potter

Chapter: Nineteen

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It's been six months since the war, and everyone's ready to try moving on. Lyall Lupin and Andromeda Tonks are coming to terms with the death of their children, finding solace in one another - but how long can they stay close in the face of absence? Kingsley Shacklebolt is trying to lead a country that has been left bitter by war, so distrustful many even doubt him. And Hestia Jones is trying to harbor all she holds dear, which is hard when there's secrets she's never had the heart to reveal.

Andromeda ran down the hall, barely noticing Teddy's protesting whines.

Hestia had offered to come - but Andromeda hadn't wanted it. When Lyall woke, he wouldn't want a crowd. Maybe tomorrow, once things were calmer. Right now it had to be her and Kingsley.

"How is he?" She asked Kingsley once she found him standing in the hallway.

"I'm waiting to find out," he replied.

Andromeda's knees felt weak, and Kingsley helped her sit down.

There was only one thing Andromeda was certain of: Lyall could not die. There was no alternative, in Andromeda's mind, because it seemed impossible and forbidden. What did it matter that she'd felt this way three other times? It couldn't this time. It simply could not happen.

Kingsley sat next to Andromeda, and took Teddy into his lap. Andromeda realized she'd handed her grandson to him. "The Healers saved Arthur Weasley, you know. He was bitten by Nagini, too, by all counts he 'shouldn't' have survived."

"It's my fault," Andromeda moaned.

"No, it isn't."

Andromeda stared at her hands. "Yes, it is. He was all alone, fighting a Death Eater... all alone this whole time..."

"Any one of us could have tried to force Lyall to open up," Kingsley said gently. "None of us did, we all wanted to give him space..."

"So we're all at fault, then."

"In that sense, I'm afraid you're right." Kingsley shook his head regretfully. "Be as it may, Andromeda... he might've been fighting alone anyway. He was attacked because he was protecting muggles, not because-"

"-that's not the point. I don't know what the point is, but that's not it."

Andromeda buried her face in her hands.

Lyall and Hope were walking in the forest where they'd first met. Flowers bloomed around them, red and orange leaves fell on their path, and Lyall could feel a light breeze. How was it fall and spring at once?

"How is he?" Lyall asked Hope.

"Oh Lyall, if only you could see. He's happier than I ever remember seeing him."

"And you?"

Hope brushed her hand against his shoulder. "I'm happy, though I'd be happier if you were with me."

Lyall realized something wasn't right, that there was a reason he was asking these questions, that he wasn't supposed to be here. "You're not a Leithfold this time?"

"No, Lyall, I'm not. Because I'm not here to take you away. Not even to be with us."

"Why?" Lyall asked. "I want to be with you..."

"You're not ready," Hope said softly, stroking his cheek. Lyall felt a lump in his throat; he'd missed her gentle gestures. "You know you aren't. Think about Teddy. Andromeda. Your friends. They've already lost so many dear ones - what would they do if they lost you?"

Why did she always have to be right? "I know. But I love you. I need you, I need Remus-"

Hope kissed Lyall tenderly. "Every time you care for Teddy, every time you hold close the people we all cared about, every time you love with all of your heart, you have a bit of us, Lyall."

When a Healer walked out of a room and called for "Kingsley Shacklebolt," it took no time for both Andromeda and Kingsley to stand up.

"We have him stabilized," the Healer told them. "He's still badly injured, but we expect he'll recover."

Andromeda let go of her breath, and relaxed her hand, which had been clawing her arm.

"He's semi-conscious now, though we recommend no more than two people visit him at this time."

"Teddy and I will go," Andromeda said, taking her grandson back from Kingsley.

"I don't know if-"

Andromeda looked the Healer in the eye. "I witnessed a House-Elf beheading when I was four. His father was a werewolf, his mother was an Auror, and his second cousin outsmarted hundreds of Dementors. He's got the stomach for whatever awaits him, and if he doesn't, it's time to learn, because he's not from the sort of family that goes quietly into the night."

Andromeda walked into the room, past someone who appeared to be near death (she tried not to let it trouble her) and to Lyall's bed.

His face was pale, and his eyes were watery.

"Andromeda?" Lyall whispered.

"Yes." Andromeda kissed his forehead. "It's okay. I'm here."

"What happened?"

"You were fighting Rodolphus Lestrange. A muggle neighbor of yours called for help."

Lyall's eyes widened. "Hilary.... he was chasing her... is she okay?"

"I suppose so. No one's said otherwise."

Teddy was reaching for Lyall; Lyall weakly let Teddy hold his finger.

"I've missed him," Lyall said hoarsely.

"And he's missed you," Andromeda said. "So have I."

"I know. Me too."

"You've missed him or me?"

"Both."

Andromeda cleared her throat. "I don't say this often, but I'm-"

Lyall shook his head. "Don't. I'm the one who should apologize."

"I still should've reached out... could've been kinder..."

"But then you wouldn't be the Andromeda we all know and love. Besides, I almost kicked it today, a petty argument's the least of my problems."

It took Andromeda a minute to realize he was making a joke. She laughed. "See? You can make light of horrible situations. You're growing."

"I suppose I am."

His eyes closed, and it took Andromeda a moment to convince herself he'd just fallen asleep.

As soon as they got the go-ahead from Andromeda early that afternoon, Hestia, her parents and Megan rushed to St. Mungo's. They were joined by Kingsley's parents, and Harry and Ginny were emerging from a room.

"He's going to be okay," Harry told them.

"Where's Andromeda?"

"Sent her home. She and Teddy need rest. They'll be back later. He's eager for company, however."

"I'll go," Hestia volunteered.

She had a lot of questions, but wasn't sure it was the best time to ask. She was relieved, at least, that Lyall seemed alert, if not very comfortable.

"Hestia!" Lyall smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm fine... how are you?"

"Not one of my better days, but not the absolute worst."

"I'm just glad you're okay. I thought we'd lost you last night."

"So did I."

"You should know I took that muggle girl and her boyfriend home."

Lyall sighed. "I suppose you're wondering how much they know."

"We can talk about that later-"

"-no, I'd rather set it straight now. Otherwise I'm going to come home, we still won't discuss it, and it'll be the Hippogriff in the room we never talk about. I just ask that you be understanding."

"I'll... try."

"First, as far as I know, the boy knows nothing. He is Hilary's boyfriend, although I did encourage her to give him a go. She was rather insecure that she wasn't right for him."

"What does Hilary know, Lyall?"

"Several months ago, last October, I was walking Teddy in his pram when I heard a scream. She was being pursued by Dementors, remembering dreadful things from the past. I steered them away and comforted her. But... well, she was understandably confused and thought I'd done something to her.

"I ran into her last December, at a shop. I caught her stealing, and made her return the item. Well, I shouldn't say that - that would be taking credit from her. I made her feel bad, and she tracked me down to let me know she'd returned it, though it didn't make her feel good." Lyall laughed quietly to himself. "She then demanded the truth from me."

"And what did you tell her?"

"I decided she needed to know part of the truth. I couldn't erase her memory, I didn't think she should forget having done the right thing, and I also thought she should understand what had happened. Why let her believe herself to have gone mad? So I led her to think she'd been overtaken by demons, which isn't so far from the truth. I explained they make you remember bad things. She knows I fight them, that most people don't believe they exist, and that if she tells anyone, I'll have to erase her memory. That is all."

"Lyall, the statute of secrecy-"

"-I know."

"And she has Kingsley's name. That's a lot of knowledge."

"There's a lot of muggles with that much knowledge, probably more than any of us realize. We're not as well hidden as we think."

Hestia knew this was true.

"Are you going to erase her memory?" Lyall asked. She could tell he dreaded the possibility.

Hestia closed her eyes and thought for a minute. Finally she exhaled and said, "No. Not for now. I think you're right that she deserved the truth, and with her quick thinking, she could prove to be an asset. All the same, make sure she never finds out anything else, and hasn't told anyone anything. Even that bloke she's dating."

"Agreed," Lyall promised. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Don't mention it. Also - don't mention it. Not everyone would be so forgiving, and relations with muggles are still.... you know."

"It can be our own statute of secrecy."

"Exactly."

Lyall cringed as he attempted to sit up straighter.

"Here." Hestia adjusted the pillows behind Lyall's back. "Better?"

"Much. Thank you."

Hestia left the room just in time to see an elderly couple coming towards them in another.

Where had Hestia seen them before?

"Are you here for Lyall Lupin too?" The woman asked. Although she looked concerned, she'd apparently found time to apply copious amounts of makeup and perfume.

"How did you find out?" Hestia asked.

She didn't know much about the eldest Lupins, but she remembered a few nasty remarks Remus had made about them, and she also recalled Tonks saying they were terrible people who could only see Remus as a "what might have been", not for the person he was. Apparently they sent him money, and that was it.

"One of the Healers sent word..."

Hestia stepped back and peeked into Lyall's room. He was shaking his head at her. She returned to the group knowing what she must do.

"We live in Munich with our other son and his family," the man was saying. "They'll be here later..."

Hestia remembered them being at the funeral as well. To their credit, they'd looked properly mournful.

"And they're welcome," Hestia said. "You're not."

"Excuse me?" The woman gasped.

"You aren't welcome. It's family only right now."

"He's - our - son!" The woman exclaimed. The man nodded in agreement.

"Doesn't matter," Kingsley said firmly, standing by Hestia. One by one, the others followed suit, blocking their path.

"I beg your pardon?" The man demanded.

"He lost his only son, yet we've only met you once. What kind of support is that? And Remus only mentioned you a handful of times, usually because you'd sent him money he hated having to take."

"What else were we to do?" The woman cried. "It was such a horrible thing, what happened to him at that young age... can you blame us for not knowing how else to help?"

"What else could you do? Love him unconditionally," Hestia told them. "Andromeda could see Teddy as a sad orphan left in her care, as a burden, as a freak, even, but does she? No. Neither does Lyall. And they never saw their children as such either. Maybe they made mistakes, but what parent doesn't? They tried their hardest, because they gave a damn. I don't know either of you well, but I know enough to reckon you only ever gave a damn about yourselves."

Both of their faces were red with anger.

"I believe that's your cue to leave," Glynn said lightly.

The woman held her chin up high. "You're not blood; what does your word even count for?"

"Anyone can be blood," Hestia pointed out. "Not just anyone can be family."

"If Lyall wants you to visit, he'll contact you," Phyllis said. "Until then, it's best you leave."

The elder Lupins exchanged an angry glance and stormed away.