Neither Here Nor There: Chapter Thirteen
Apr. 9th, 2015 07:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
author_by_nightTitle: Neither Here Nor There
Fandom: Harry Potter
Chapter: Thirteen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It's been six months since the war, and everyone's ready to try moving on. Lyall Lupin and Andromeda Tonks are coming to terms with the death of their children, finding solace in one another - but how long can they stay close in the face of absence? Kingsley Shacklebolt is trying to lead a country that has been left bitter by war, so distrustful many even doubt him. And Hestia Jones is trying to harbor all she holds dear, which is hard when there's secrets she's never had the heart to reveal.
Amos Diggory had been called to the house immediately, as well as Augustus Pye, a Healer at St. Mungo's. Ginny had taken Teddy to Bill and Fleur's so they could watch him, then returned looking shaken. Both Healer Pye and Amos agreed that Lyall, Hestia and Harry shouldn't be moved.
"Hestia, you know whatever you're dreaming isn't real," Kingsley said harshly, heeding Amos's advice to remind her of reality - as difficult it was to say these things. "Our friends are dead. The war happened. You're being attacked by something very evil, something feeding off of your emotions..."
I can't lose you...
Kingsley could hear more people entering.
"Hestia!" Phyllis moaned as she, Glynn and Megan ran over.
"They're doing all they can," Kingsley told them.
"What the hell happened?" Megan demanded.
Kingsley quietly explained, still not leaving Hestia's side. Megan's eyes widened, Glynn swore, and Phylls covered her face.
Molly and Arthur Weasley rushed in next; Ginny hugged Molly tightly.
"Okay," Amos said, turning to them. "Augustus Pye is going to try making a potion. Our best bet is far riskier."
"What is it?" Ginny asked.
"Three of you have to dream walk. It's worked as many times as it's failed. Basically, you enter the person's subconscious, and have to try willing them away."
Megan tilted her head. "So you just go in and tell them it's a dream?"
"Yes, but it's not that simple... the leithfold will fight back, and it will do so using your emotions. It's not sentient on its own, but becomes so through human emotion, which can be very dark. It knows every wish you've hoped, every regret you've had, every horrible thought you've pushed back."
Kngsley shuddered.
"Normally it will assume the role of a particular person whom the dreamer trusts or trusted and loved beyond reason. Therefore, the person entering the dream must also be someone the dreamer cares about deeply."
"So... three of us need to go in?" Kingsley looked at Hestia. "I'll go for her."
"Respectfully, Minister... I don't think you should," Amos said.
"Excuse me? She's my girlfriend."
"I realize that, but we need a skilled wizard here in case things go awry. Besides... you're the Minister."
"I'll go," Megan offered.
"No," Glynn and Phylis protested together.
"I can handle it. If Kingsley can't do it, I want to do it."
"I'm going too," Ginny told her parents. "It should be Ron and Hermione, but... they're not here. Bill's going to try reaching them. In the meantime, I'll go."
"Ginny, no!" Molly exclaimed.
Kingsley didn't like this. "You and Megan are too y-"
"-we're going," Ginny interrupted.
"And that's final," Megan added. The two girls exchanged a wry high-five.
"I'll go for Lyall," Andromeda said.
"What about Teddy?" Kingsley asked.
"I'm all he's got left."
"You're all Teddy's got left," Glynn pointed out.
"His wife and son are gone. I'm his best shot. If we don't come back from this..."
Phyllis grabbed Andromeda's hand. "You will. Please. I know we've drifted-"
"-you mean you've stopped speaking to me."
There was an awkward silence.
"I'm bad at these," Andromeda admitted with a thin smile. "Let me rescue Lyall, then we can talk."
"Then it's settled," Amos said. "Are you ready?"
Everyone nodded.
"Good. Now lay down."
Ginny, Megan and Andromeda did so, and after eyeing all three of them, Amos raised his wand and whispered: "Somnia Ambulant" at each of them, pointing his wand from them to Harry, Hestia and Lyall respectively.
It was a beautiful night; the sun was setting, and birds were chirping. Andromeda was moving towards a table in the middle of a garden. Standing on it were Lyall, a woman Andromeda didn't know, and - Andromeda's heart sank - Remus, Dora and Teddy.
"I can't do this - Kingsley!" Andromeda called.
Everyone turned to stare at her.
"Andromeda!" Lyall sounded more energetic than Andromeda had ever heard him. "It's lovely to see you. We weren't sure you were coming."
"Oh - I'm late," Andromeda said absently.
Dora rolled her eyes. "And you say I'm not punctual."
It sounded just like her... Andromeda felt a physical blow to her chest.
"How are you, dear?" The woman asked; Andromeda realized it must be Hope. She had dark brown hair and grey eyes.
"Fine," Andromeda lied.
"That's an understatement," Dora said. "Mum, tell them your news!"
Andromeda looked away. "No. Lyall, can we talk?"
"I want to hear the news!" Hope persisted. Her hand caressed Lyall's tenderly.
"It's nothing. Lyall, please."
"He can talk to you right here," Hope said.
Andromeda's eyes fixed with Hope's, and she knew instantly who the host was. She remembered that she had to be careful.
"Fine," Andromeda said. "I'll tell you my news - I've won a trip to Paris."
"The three of us are going," Dora added.
Andromeda felt more and more light-headed each time Dora spoke, for she wanted so desperately to hug her, to tell her she was so, so sorry...
"Can I use your restroom?" Andromeda asked, refusing to look at her daughter. Not my daughter. A figment of Lyall's imagination.
Next thing Andromeda knew, she was in the kitchen. She supposed this transition made sense - it was a dream, after all. The sky outside the window was dark now.
"Andromeda?"
Andromeda turned; Lyall had come in from behind her.
"Is something wrong? You seem unsettled," he said.
"Lyall, have you noticed anything... strange? Why is your wife here? Remus? D...Tonks?"
Lyall laughed. "Since when do you call your daughter by her old surname?"
"That's her nickname."
"Not for you. You and Ted always call her Dora."
Andromeda closed her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lyall asked. "What happened?"
"You have to listen to me," Andromeda said.
That was when she realized - there was a full moon outside, clearly in view. Remus's very unchanged voice could be heard from outside, talking naturally, as though there was nothing to fear.
Because there wasn't.
"Oh, Lyall." Andromeda took his hands. "This isn't real."
"What isn't? And why are you shaking?"
"Listen to me. You're in a lot of trouble right now; you have to wake up."
"But I like it here," Lyall said with a frown.
"You'll die eventually. You'll be smothered to death by your own wishful thinking."
"You're so morbid," Lyall laughed. "Of course I won't. I'm happy and safe with the people who matter the most to me."
"But you aren't really with them. You're more alone than you've ever been. Think of the people who aren't gone. I need you. Teddy needs you."
"He's right there-"
"-well past his bedtime. But he's still up because Remus is here, and you just need to think your son isn't a werewolf because it's all you ever wanted for him."
Something in Lyall's eyes flickered. "Maybe I should get Remus inside."
"No. You need to-"
"What are you two doing in here?"
Hope was coming through the door with a suspicious look on her face.
"Hope! Tell Andromeda our son's fine," Lyall said.
"He is having a bad hair day," Hope contended, kissing Lyall on the cheek. "Everything's fine, Andromeda. Shouldn't you be on your way?"
"I wasn't done speaking with Lyall, actually."
"Honestly, you'd think he was replacing Ted or something," Hope told her. "My husband's alive, so stop trying to poach him because yours isn't."
The mention of Ted brought on the threat of tears, but Andromeda willed herself not to give in.
"You're one to talk," she said. "You're not Hope at all. Poor Hope must be turning in her grave with what you've done to her husband."
"I think she'd be more worried about you pretending you never wished Dora hadn't married his son. You still wish it, don't you?"
"Of course not. Dora loved him. I loved him, he was my son-in-law."
Hope smirked, but Lyall spoke before she could respond. "Wait - why are you talking about Remus in past tense?"
"Because our little boy's all grown up now, with one of his own!" Hope said in a shrill voice.
Lyall looked back at the window. "We should get Remus inside."
"Why? He's so happy out there..."
"When he was small, he was attacked on a full moon," Andromeda interjected. "You know he was. Lyall, stop being fooled - you of all people must know something isn't right."
"If I were you," Hope said, "I would stop talking."
Andromeda wasn't paying attention. "Wake up!"
Hope grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey and hit Andromeda in the head; the last thing Andromeda saw before losing consciousness was Dora come into the kitchen to say goodnight.
Megan looked at her hands. She was a kid again; it felt strange to be this short.
Next to her were Hestia, Charlie, Bill, Tonks and her mother. She'd forgotten they had all spent a week together when she was eight, and Hestia would've been... sixteen.
This was where Hestia wished she was? Sixteen again?
"It's no problem to watch Megan," Hestia was saying.
Phyllis clearly wasn't expecting instant agreement. "Oh - I thought you were going to say no. You're growing up."
"Megan's Ron's age, we're used to small - big children," Charlie added.
"Why didn't it ever occur to you to have us play together?" Megan asked without thinking.
"You two didn't really play together well," Hestia said.
Megan vaguely remembered not liking a boy with red hair. How had she never realized it was Ron?
"We weren't really close at Hogwarts either," Megan blurted as she walked over to them.
Bill laughed. "You're not at Hogwarts yet!"
"Are you feeling okay?" Phyllis asked. "Maybe I should stay home."
"No! I have to - I mean, I want to play with Hestia and her friends."
"She's probably just excited because I'm her favorite person," Tonks said, and Megan was startled. Seeing Tonks had been one thing - she knew it wasn't really her. But hearing her voice...
"I will be home soon," Phyllis said. "I believe you!"
Megan frowned, but before she could process what her mother had said, her surroundings changed; she was now sitting on the swings, watching Bill, Charlie, Tonks and Hestia talk on a picnic blanket.
Megan listened for a break in the conversation; but Hestia and her friends were laughing so hard, she didn't think there ever would be one. Their conversation didn't even make sense.
"And then the dragon said, I had lunch with Alastor Moody!" Hestia clapped her hands together as her friends laughed loudly with her.
"Okay, that's enough!" Megan exclaimed as she ran up to her sister.
"Can it wait, Megan? We're expecting Dumbledore any minute -"
"No, it can't wait. It's important."
"What's wrong?"
"Alone."
Hestia sighed. "Sorry, I should take care of this."
She led Megan closer to the house. "What is it? Did you hurt yourself?"
"Hestia, none of this is really happening."
"What's not happening?"
"Let's break it down. Since when do dragons talk? Or have lunch with people?"
"I didn't say anything about dragons," Hestia said.
"Yeah, you did. Just now. Why?"
Hestia checked Megan's forehead. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. You're the one who is very sick right now, and if you don't listen to me, we'll lose you forever. Kingsley will lose you."
Hestia smiled. "Kingsley's not going to lose me. If anything, I think he might be the one."
"So you... know Kingsley." Megan realized she could work with this. "If you're sixteen, Kingsley's in his late twenties. You don't know him now, at least not personally. You won't meet him until you join the Order years from now.
"I don't want to talk about that, I'm in my happy place," Hestia said.
"Too bad, because we're going to talk about it. Hestia, you know deep down this isn't real. None of this is real."
"Stop it!" Hestia exclaimed. "Go away and leave me alone! I want to be with my friends!"
"Fine. Let's talk to your friends."
Megan chased Hestia towards them, and before Hestia could say anything, she said loudly, "Bill, how's Fleur?"
"She's well," Bill replied. "We're getting married today."
"That's funny, considering you haven't even met her yet! Hestia," Megan continued, "don't you see what's happening? You're in a nicer time, but you can't completely filter out all the good things that happened later, so they're wedged in where it doesn't make sense!"
Hestia was backing away from Megan. "Stop it."
"And Tonks isn't really here. She's dead."
"That's not very nice," Tonks snapped.
"You're not Tonks," Megan added.
"Yes I am," Tonks said. "But are you Megan?"
"What?"
Tonks stood up. "You're not the little girl in that body either."
"Stop it," Megan hissed. "Just let my sister go."
"Go where? Moaning Myrtle's bathroom? You're not so reliable there."
"I didn't know she was going to tell," Megan said.
"But she did, and had her little confession lead to the Order, Hestia would've ended up in Azkaban. It wouldn't have been Kingsley kissing her."
Hestia started to giggle.
Megan could feel blood draining from her face. "That isn't what happened, and anyway, it's not the worst -"
"-of course it's not the worst. What's worse is that you couldn't stop them from killing Colin Creevey."
"How could I have possibly-"
"-you know how. You could have fought harder. You could've convinced him to stay hidden with Dennis. You could've been faster, smarter, a million things you weren't, because you're a useless rat who was never worthy of Dumbledore's Army."
Seeing the look on her sister's face, Hestia stopped giggling.
"What's wrong, Meg?" She asked, her voice tender. "We were just playing a game."
"Don't worry about her, she's fine," Tonks said with a wave of her hand.
"I'm not fine! We have to get out of here," Megan begged. "Wake up!"
"Shut your trap," Tonks retorted.
"Dora, she thinks you're serious," Hestia said. "Tell her you're kidding."
"Hestia, would Tonks really say those things to me?" Megan asked. "Even as a joke?"
"No - no," Hestia repeated, her brow furrowed. "I don't understand - what's gotten into you?"
"It's okay, Hestia, remember, you're in your happy place," Tonks said in a syrupy sweet voice. Hestia started to close her eyes.
"NO!" Megan screamed. "DON'T LISTEN TO HER!"
Tonks whipped out her wand, and Megan flew from the ground upwards, through her bedroom window; the door and the window both slammed shut as Megan fell facedown on the bed.
Ginny was in Harry's arms; sunlight was peering in through the window.
"Er... the Leithfold didn't give you a sex dream about me, did it?" Ginny asked.
Harry sat up and put on his glasses. "You said you didn't want to do that with my parents in the next room."
"Oh good," Ginny said. "Wait - your parents?"
"Yeah. Who else would be in the next room?"
Ginny's heart sank. "Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry... of course you'd want parents." Her eyes moved to his forehead. "But... you still have a scar."
He had once told her he wasn't ashamed of it... was it that much of who he was?
"Yeah, I told you, I got it falling down the stairs as a kid," Harry said with a laugh. "My parents called me The Boy Who Tumbled after that. Let's get going, everyone's going to be here soon to open presents."
"Presents...?"
"It's Christmas, isn't it?"
"I guess. Harry, I have to tell you something -"
But before she could finish, they were downstairs. Damned dream sequences. Her parents, Ron and Hermione were coming through the door. Sirius had already arrived, and was talking to James in the background.
"Merry Christmas, Mum," Ginny said, giving her mother a hug. "Where's everyone else? I still have other siblings, right?"
"Okay, that's enough, you know they all wanted to make it," Molly said. "You've made them feel bad enough."
"Are you coming or not?" Sirius called from the family room.
"Sirius!" Lily admonished, but she was laughing. This was going to be difficult.
As Harry sat down, James handed him a present. "This one's from your Mum and I."
Ginny watched Harry open the present, not even caring about her own. They weren't real, after all. Harry ended up pulling out a toy train.
"Thanks, Dad!" Harry gasped. "Just what I've always wanted!"
Reality. He needs to get back to reality.
"Harry, aren't you a little old for toy trains?" Ginny asked.
"The point is that his parents gave him a present," Sirius told her.
Harry shook his head. "It's perfect. Almost as good as the Firebolt Sirius gave me. Remember that?"
"I knew it was from you," Hermione said.
Now we're getting somewhere, Ginny thought. "And how did that make you feel, Hermione?"
Hermione shrugged. "It didn't bother me, why would it?"
"Because Sirius -" Ginny stopped. "Harry, can we talk alone?"
"You lot keep doing that," Sirius said. "It isn't going to work."
Ginny ignored him and led Harry by the stairs.
"I don't like standing by the steps," Harry said.
"Of course not. You had to sleep in a cupboard underneath them for ten years. Deep down, you know the truth."
"What are you talking about? Mum and Dad never got that cross with me!"
"Harry... they're dead. They were killed by You-Know-Who when you were one."
"I don't know who, actually, and they're fine," Harry said.
"V-Voldemort." Ginny laughed wryly. "Wow, I can finally say it, and it's in a place that's not real."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "It's Christmas. Can we not?
Ginny held his hands. "I know this is hard for you, but you've got to listen to me. These are not your parents, and Sirius is not Sirius."
"He is," Harry insisted.
"Sirius died, Harry. You saw it happen."
Harry let go of Ginny's hands.
"Sirius!" He called. "Come here! Ginny fancies you're dead."
"I don't fancy the idea," Ginny said. "I hate it, because I know what he was to you, and I always thought he deserved better than- "
"Better than what?" Sirius asked as he approached.
"See? He's right here. Touch him so you know he's not a ghost."
Ginny grudgingly touched Sirius's arm; she gasped as he grabbed her wrist.
"Ah, Ginny Weasley," he said. "Didn't your father tell you not to trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?"
"You're not thinking for yourself," Ginny snapped. "You're using our emotions."
"Oh, are we playing games now?" Harry asked.
"More like a riddle," Sirius replied.
Ginny winced, and Sirius laughed. "Is befriending a diary and almost killing your classmates still a sore spot?"
"I know what you are, you can't upset me," Ginny said. She knew her face had gone pale, though. Don't listen to him... it, don't listen to it...
"Oh, you think you're so clever. Let me tell you something - you're as puny as you were the day you opened that diary. You just became better at hiding it, through your stupid jokes, through falling in love with the hero who didn't even remember what happened to you."
Ginny swallowed. "He remembered, he was just going through-"
"Here you go again, spilling your secrets to something you can't really see. Tell me more, little girl. Tell me how you were so mad at Harry for abandoning you to go on a secret mission for Dumbledore, and hated yourself when you thought he'd died because you'd never forgiven him."
"I understood his reasons," Ginny said hoarsely.
"But you were still angry. He doesn't know that, does he? He doesn't know sometimes you still worry it won't work, that he'll find another reason to leave?"
"I would never leave her," Harry interrupted. "I think we should go back to opening presents."
"You don't want me to stop," Sirius said. "Aren't you glad you have parents and a Godfather? Aren't you glad that you're only famous for your success on the Quidditch field?"
"Harry, it's not Sirius," Ginny told him.
She pulled out her wand and cried, "stupefy!"
But instead of hitting Sirius, the spell hit her.
When Megan woke up, she was on the floor of a strange dining room. It was in the room of a very old house; Grimmauld Place, she realized. They'd gone several months before for a gathering.
At the table were Hestia and her friends, who still looked young; but several people wwere with them, some of whom Megan vaguely remembered as having been people who had been killed. Sirius Black... Alastor Moody... Emmaline Vance.. of course Remus and Tonks... Dumbledore...
Her friends from the Order. They were all alive here. With a start, Megan realized their parents were also there. In this version of reality, they'd always been in the Order.
"And we have Potions tomorrow," Hestia was saying. "I hate Potions, personally."
"So you're in the Order, but still at Hogwarts?" Megan asked.
"Of course," Hestia said. "And yeah, I'm in the Order. We're a defense group."
"So there's a war."
Hestia paused. "No. No war."
"Don't be morbid, Meggie," Tonks said with a laugh. "It's for pleasure."
"And why was I sleeping on the floor?" Megan asked.
"Because you were tired," Hestia replied. "It's okay to take a nap."
"Am I three now? I thought I was eight!'
"Megan," Glynn said sternly
Megan looked at Sirius Black. "I'd forgotten you were friends with Hestia."
"Of course we're friends," Sirius said.
"All of you," Megan added. You're all here. With her."
"What do you mean?" Remus asked in his typical friendly voice. "Why wouldn't we be?"
"Yes," a woman wearing green robes said. "I'm certainly not going anywhere... Hestia looks up to me, since i was in the Order the first time."
"And you'd be...?"
"Emmaline Vance."
Megan looked at Bill, who was feeding Fleur crepes with his fingers. His face didn't have scars on it... Dumbledore and Kingsley were speaking quietly, Kingsley's other hand stroking Hestia's... Alastor Moody's eye was spinning....
"Hestia," Megan began, inching closer to her sister, "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much you longed for them to be back. But they aren't real."
"Yes, they are," Hestia insisted desperately.
"There's holes in your universe, and you know it. You're sixteen, and yet your boyfriend is the Minister of Magic. And what sixteen year old girl joins a club with her parents and her school Headmaster?"
"You should stop talking," Tonks warned Megan.
"Close your eyes and think, Hestia."
Hestia briefly closed her eyes, then opened them, shaking her head wildly. "No. How can that world be real?"
"I wish I had some philosophical answer to that," Megan said, "but I don't. I really don't. All I know is... Kingsley's sitting by you as you struggle for breath, begging for you to wake up. He's trying to stay calm, and yet I can tell he's scared out of his mind. So look around, and tell yourself that none of this makes any sense."
Tonks had begun to stand up, but something told Megan not to flinch. She thought she had her.
"Let's go," Megan said, and she grabbed Hestia's wrist. After half of a second, Hestia stood, and they ran just in time for Tonks to raise her wand.
Andromeda moaned as she held her head. It was pounding... what had happened?
She opened her eyes to find herself in what appeared to be a guest room. She sat up and gathered her thoughts.
It appeared that a few hours had passed - it was morning now. Andromeda hastily made her way down the stairs.
"Just in time for eggs florentine!" Hope said happily when Andromeda entered. To Andromeda's bitter relief, Remus and Dora were not present. She couldn't have that right now.
"How are you feeling?" Lyall asked, looking up from the paper.
"Fine, considering I was hit in the head with a bottle of firewhiskey," Andromeda snapped.
"We're getting too old to drink that much," Hope said, handing Andromeda a plate. "Eating helps, if you have the stomach for it."
"I don't have the stomach for a lot of things," Andromeda said. She realized they were eating chocolate frogs, not eggs.
"I've never seen eggs that look like chocolate before," Andromeda remarked to Lyall.
"They're delicious!" Lyall agreed. Or at least, he thought he was agreeing.
"So we wanted your thoughts," Hope said as she sat down. "Where's the best place for two retirees to go? We were thinking Paris."
"I thought I won the trip to Paris," Andromeda said.
Lyall looked puzzled for a moment, but just as Andromeda hoped she'd gotten through to him, he said, "I don't think Paris is quite the place, dear. We've already been, after all. How about Amsterdam?"
"Oh, I don't think I'd like it. What about somewhere in Spain?"
"Spain... now Spain I could do," Lyall said with a smile.
Hope grabbed some napkins, which became brochures. "Here are some cities we could go to... we could go for a whole year, if we wanted! Get a villa, have the kids visit us... what do you say?"
"I love it. In fact, let's leave this afternoon!"
"Yes, just pull a Spanish villa out of your arses, that'll work," Andromeda said sarcastically.
Hope held Andromeda's hand. "You can visit us too. Or get your own villa."
The doorbell rang; Hope went to see who it was.
"Lyall, this is just a dream," Andromeda said. "You absolutely must believe me. Hope is gone. Remus and Dora-"
"-is here!" Hope announced, bringing Dora into the kitchen with her.
"We forgot Teddy's - well, teddy," Dora explained.
"It must be outside, let me get it," Hope said, and she hurried off.
Dora sat down next to Andromeda. "How are you, Mum? You passed out last night."
"I can't..." Andromeda said.
Dora put her hand on Andromeda's shoulder. "Mum, what is it? Why won't you look at me?"
Andromeda covered her face so Dora wouldn't see her crying. "Go away. I know it's not you. Go away."
"But it is me, Mum. Who else would it be?"
"Please go away... oh god, you don't even know you're not you... you're Lyall, and you don't even know it..."
"I'm Lyall," Lyall reminded her.
"I'm back - oh dear," Hope said. "Andromeda, what is this? Why are you crying?"
"She doesn't know who I am," Dora said, sounding scared. "I think we need to take her to St. Mungo's."
"No!" Andromeda sprang up. "Absolutely not. Do you think I don't want to believe you're Dora? That she's alive, with her husband and son? Do you think every inch of me doesn't want to hug you and never let go? But I can't."
"You're not going to change her mind," Hope taunted. "Lyall, come on, we have a villa to get to."
Hope headed out the door, but before Lyall could follow, Andromeda grabbed his arm.
"You know it's not her," she hissed. "Hope is dead. Your son is dead."
Lyall's face was paling. "I can't believe you... it's not true..."
"Would you rather die? Would you rather be smothered into a shell of your former self? Because that's what will happen. And then I will go the rest of your life hating you for leaving Teddy and I, and the duration of mine hating myself for those feelings."
"Mum-" Dora began.
Andromeda couldn't hold it in any longer; she held Dora very tight, crying unabashedly.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry I couldn't protect you."
When Andromeda finally pulled away, Dora looked very confused.
"See what I mean?" Andromeda burst out. "This is madness! It's the worst dream in the world!"
"You're a dear friend," Lyall said slowly, "but you must be mistaken."
"You're the one who is mistaken. Like many who have been fooled by Erised Leithfolds."
Lyall's eyes widened in understanding. "An Erised Leithfold?"
Andromeda held his hand. "Come on. Wake up."
"What is taking you so long?"
Hope had returned with her hands on her hips.
"It isn't her," Andromeda reminded him.
"Of course it's me," Hope said, walking to Lyall.
Lyall was shaking his head. "No, something's not right... you're supposed to be... dead."
Hope's forehead creased with feigned worry. "Lyall, sweetheart, what are you talking about? I'm right here. I've never gone anywhere..."
"Don't listen to her," Andromeda cut in.
"Mum, what's gotten into you?" Dora asked.
Andromeda couldn't respond without crying again, and there was no time for that.
"You're ignoring her," Hope said. "Like you did before. She's used to it."
Hope turned back to Lyall. "Andromeda's just taking the mickey. It's all right. We're going to go to our new villa and spend the rest of our lives there. Remus, Dora and Teddy will be visiting very soon, and their visits will be frequent."
"I don't have a son anymore..." Lyall drifted.
"Don't be so morbid! Of course you do. A son who had a wonderful childhood, innocent and free of monsters. Isn't that what you've always wanted? Why are you letting this woman trick you into thinking otherwise?"
"You're the one being tricked!" Andromeda insisted. "Lyall, listen to me-"
Hope had kissed him, and Lyall was kissing her back. Andromeda made to pull him away violently, but the floor opened and Andromeda fell through it.
Hestia woke up gasping for air.
Where was she? The last thing she remembered was the Order meeting... now she was on the floor, her Mum on one side of her, Kingsley on the other. Lydia and Clancy Shacklebolt were seated in front of them, along with Molly and Arthur Weasley. Megan was next to her, sitting up slowly.
"It'll take her a minute," a man's voice said. "Someone should get a wet cloth."
"It's okay," Kingsley said gently. "You're okay."
"Where did everyone go?" Hestia asked weakly.
"We're right-"
"-she means the Order meeting," Megan explained.
Everything came back to Hestia: the picnic with her friends... the Order meeting... the world where none of her friends had died, where she was still young, where her parents had been there from the start....
"It wasn't real," Hestia said. Her stomach was churning. Of course it wasn't, she'd realized five seconds ago that it wasn't. And yet, she'd been so happy.
"It was an Erised Leithfold," the man in front of her explained. Hestia realized it was Amos Diggory. "It almost killed you."
Hestia looked over to her right, and let out a loud gasp when she saw Lyall and Harry gasping for breath; Ginny and Andromeda were next to them, also unconscious but breathing evenly.
"Why haven't they woken up?" Hestia demanded.
"Unfortunately, now that it's lost hold on you, it'll want a tighter hold on them," Amos said.
"Will Ginny and Andromeda be enough, then?" Kingsley asked.
"That remains to be seen," Amos replied.
The door flew open, and George, Charlie, Percy, Ron and Hermione bolted in.
"Harry! Ginny!" Hermione cried. "What happened?"
"Are you okay? Are they okay?" Charlie asked, his eyes moving from Hestia to Harry to Ginny.
"Yeah," Hestia lied.
She stood up, and Kingsley wrapped an arm around her.
"Let's get you some tea," he said.
Hestia didn't want to go into the kitchen... she wanted to go back...
But Kingsley was leading her away.
When Ginny woke up, she was on the couch of what looked like a combination of the Hogwarts Great Hall and the Gryffindor Common Room. The portrait hole was there, but candles were flying over them, and the only Gryffindors Ginny had known were her brothers, Ron, Hermione, and Neville.
"You keep falling asleep," Fred told her as he passed by while stroking a chocolate frog. George was doing the same.
Fred...
"Fred," Ginny said, and she struggled to hold back tears. Oh, how she'd missed him.
"Are you okay? You've been weird all day."
"I'm okay. Where's Harry?"
Fred pointed, and Ginny turned; he was having a lively conversation with Dumbledore, who appeared to be opening a present from him. Not far away, Remus, Sirius and James were clinking drinks together.
"Harry," Ginny said as she approached him.
"You remembered!" Dumbledore laughed, pulling out purple socks.
"I don't understand socks," Hermione said. "I'd rather have something practical."
"Which is why I got you this," Ron told her, and he handed her a shoelace.
Ginny turned back to Harry. "Harry, Snape killed Dumbledore on his own orders years ago. Remember?"
"Killed? Miss Weasley, I assure you I am alive and well," Dumbledore said.
"Quidditch!" Harry said suddenly. "We're all playing Quidditch! It's an annual Christmas tradition."
"Excellent," Sirius said as he passed. Ginny glared at him darkly, and Sirius grinned.
"Here's the thing, little girl," he said. "I've lost hold on the others. Well, I still have Lyall Lupin on hold, but I don't need him anymore. He's extra weight. We all have regrets in life; we all have people we've lost we wish we could bring back, things we've done we wish we hadn't... but your boyfriend's list of regrets and lost chances will keep me fed for a very, very long time. I'll let the sad sack go - and keep the young man."
"I'm glad for what I have," Harry said in monotone.
"No, you're not!" Ginny said hotly. "Don't let him - it - win."
Harry wove his fingers into hers. "You worry too much. I'm happy, and I want you to be happy too."
"You won't be happy dead! Teddy. Think of Teddy."
Something in Harry's eyes flickered.
"Teddy..." He stopped. "Where is he?"
"It's time to play Quidditch," Sirius reminded Harry.
"Let me find out where Teddy is first," Harry told Sirius. "And Andromeda... they need me. We're all we've got left of you."
"I can show you," Ginny told Harry, extending her arm.
"I know a faster way," Sirius said, and he put his hand on Harry's shoulder. With his other hand, he pushed Ginny backwards into the air, right through the Fat Lady's portrait.
When Hestia heard her mother exclaim "Andromeda! Lyall!", she and Kingsley hurried back into the family room.
Andromeda was sitting up, but Lyall still looked disoriented.
"Hope?" He called.
Hestia took Lyall's hand. "It wasn't real."
"How'd - I was losing," Andromeda said weakly. Her eyes were bloodshot.
"Remus? Hope?" Lyall called feebly.
His eyes widened in comprehension, and all color drained from his face. "The leithfold."
Hestia nodded. "Yeah."
"Harry!" Ron cried suddenly.
Harry was convulsing now.
"It's taking a stronger hold," Lyall realized aloud. "That's why it let me go... we need more people. She alone-" Lyall pointed to Ginny - "can't do it. It'll weaken her. I'll go."
He stood, but only with the help of Phyllis and Glynn.
"You can't, you just woke up!" Andromeda protested.
"Which is why I'm the best candidate to go back! I know the source."
"You can barely stand..."
"I'll be able to in my sleep. I promise. Just don't tell Re-"
Lyall stopped. "I mean, I can do it."
Andromeda looked skeptical.
"We're going with you," Ron said firmly. "We should've been here in the beginning..."
"You're allowed to go on vacation," Hestia told him gently.
"But we're also allowed to put everything on hold when need be," Hermione said. "It's what we've always done."
"Well, I'm coming too, then," Andromeda said.
"And me," Hestia volunteered.
It wasn't an easy thing to offer; not when she still felt weak in the knees. She couldn't even imagine what shape Lyall was in...
But she also understood what he was getting at, and he was right: they could deal with their own aches and pains later.
"You're all mad," Phyllis said flatly.
"We'll be stronger together," Hestia assured her.
Phyllis didn't look convinced.
"I should come this time, too," Kingsley said. "I know I'm the Minister, but..."
"That's why you should stay," Hestia said. "Please, Kingsley. I've got this. We've all got this."
"I can't let you do it alone."
"You let Megan do it alone to get me," Hestia pointed out.
"And the entire time, I knew I should have gone instead. Yes, she got you out, but what if she hadn't?"
"We don't have time for heroic sacrifice here," Andromeda snapped, not taking her eyes off of Harry. "Kingsley might as well come, he led the war, he can lead this."
Lydia hugged Kingsley. "Be careful."
"I'll be fine, Mum."
"Are you going or not?" Amos barked.
Hestia and Kingsley squeezed one another's hands, then laid down for a restless nap.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Chapter: Thirteen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It's been six months since the war, and everyone's ready to try moving on. Lyall Lupin and Andromeda Tonks are coming to terms with the death of their children, finding solace in one another - but how long can they stay close in the face of absence? Kingsley Shacklebolt is trying to lead a country that has been left bitter by war, so distrustful many even doubt him. And Hestia Jones is trying to harbor all she holds dear, which is hard when there's secrets she's never had the heart to reveal.
Amos Diggory had been called to the house immediately, as well as Augustus Pye, a Healer at St. Mungo's. Ginny had taken Teddy to Bill and Fleur's so they could watch him, then returned looking shaken. Both Healer Pye and Amos agreed that Lyall, Hestia and Harry shouldn't be moved.
"Hestia, you know whatever you're dreaming isn't real," Kingsley said harshly, heeding Amos's advice to remind her of reality - as difficult it was to say these things. "Our friends are dead. The war happened. You're being attacked by something very evil, something feeding off of your emotions..."
I can't lose you...
Kingsley could hear more people entering.
"Hestia!" Phyllis moaned as she, Glynn and Megan ran over.
"They're doing all they can," Kingsley told them.
"What the hell happened?" Megan demanded.
Kingsley quietly explained, still not leaving Hestia's side. Megan's eyes widened, Glynn swore, and Phylls covered her face.
Molly and Arthur Weasley rushed in next; Ginny hugged Molly tightly.
"Okay," Amos said, turning to them. "Augustus Pye is going to try making a potion. Our best bet is far riskier."
"What is it?" Ginny asked.
"Three of you have to dream walk. It's worked as many times as it's failed. Basically, you enter the person's subconscious, and have to try willing them away."
Megan tilted her head. "So you just go in and tell them it's a dream?"
"Yes, but it's not that simple... the leithfold will fight back, and it will do so using your emotions. It's not sentient on its own, but becomes so through human emotion, which can be very dark. It knows every wish you've hoped, every regret you've had, every horrible thought you've pushed back."
Kngsley shuddered.
"Normally it will assume the role of a particular person whom the dreamer trusts or trusted and loved beyond reason. Therefore, the person entering the dream must also be someone the dreamer cares about deeply."
"So... three of us need to go in?" Kingsley looked at Hestia. "I'll go for her."
"Respectfully, Minister... I don't think you should," Amos said.
"Excuse me? She's my girlfriend."
"I realize that, but we need a skilled wizard here in case things go awry. Besides... you're the Minister."
"I'll go," Megan offered.
"No," Glynn and Phylis protested together.
"I can handle it. If Kingsley can't do it, I want to do it."
"I'm going too," Ginny told her parents. "It should be Ron and Hermione, but... they're not here. Bill's going to try reaching them. In the meantime, I'll go."
"Ginny, no!" Molly exclaimed.
Kingsley didn't like this. "You and Megan are too y-"
"-we're going," Ginny interrupted.
"And that's final," Megan added. The two girls exchanged a wry high-five.
"I'll go for Lyall," Andromeda said.
"What about Teddy?" Kingsley asked.
"I'm all he's got left."
"You're all Teddy's got left," Glynn pointed out.
"His wife and son are gone. I'm his best shot. If we don't come back from this..."
Phyllis grabbed Andromeda's hand. "You will. Please. I know we've drifted-"
"-you mean you've stopped speaking to me."
There was an awkward silence.
"I'm bad at these," Andromeda admitted with a thin smile. "Let me rescue Lyall, then we can talk."
"Then it's settled," Amos said. "Are you ready?"
Everyone nodded.
"Good. Now lay down."
Ginny, Megan and Andromeda did so, and after eyeing all three of them, Amos raised his wand and whispered: "Somnia Ambulant" at each of them, pointing his wand from them to Harry, Hestia and Lyall respectively.
It was a beautiful night; the sun was setting, and birds were chirping. Andromeda was moving towards a table in the middle of a garden. Standing on it were Lyall, a woman Andromeda didn't know, and - Andromeda's heart sank - Remus, Dora and Teddy.
"I can't do this - Kingsley!" Andromeda called.
Everyone turned to stare at her.
"Andromeda!" Lyall sounded more energetic than Andromeda had ever heard him. "It's lovely to see you. We weren't sure you were coming."
"Oh - I'm late," Andromeda said absently.
Dora rolled her eyes. "And you say I'm not punctual."
It sounded just like her... Andromeda felt a physical blow to her chest.
"How are you, dear?" The woman asked; Andromeda realized it must be Hope. She had dark brown hair and grey eyes.
"Fine," Andromeda lied.
"That's an understatement," Dora said. "Mum, tell them your news!"
Andromeda looked away. "No. Lyall, can we talk?"
"I want to hear the news!" Hope persisted. Her hand caressed Lyall's tenderly.
"It's nothing. Lyall, please."
"He can talk to you right here," Hope said.
Andromeda's eyes fixed with Hope's, and she knew instantly who the host was. She remembered that she had to be careful.
"Fine," Andromeda said. "I'll tell you my news - I've won a trip to Paris."
"The three of us are going," Dora added.
Andromeda felt more and more light-headed each time Dora spoke, for she wanted so desperately to hug her, to tell her she was so, so sorry...
"Can I use your restroom?" Andromeda asked, refusing to look at her daughter. Not my daughter. A figment of Lyall's imagination.
Next thing Andromeda knew, she was in the kitchen. She supposed this transition made sense - it was a dream, after all. The sky outside the window was dark now.
"Andromeda?"
Andromeda turned; Lyall had come in from behind her.
"Is something wrong? You seem unsettled," he said.
"Lyall, have you noticed anything... strange? Why is your wife here? Remus? D...Tonks?"
Lyall laughed. "Since when do you call your daughter by her old surname?"
"That's her nickname."
"Not for you. You and Ted always call her Dora."
Andromeda closed her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lyall asked. "What happened?"
"You have to listen to me," Andromeda said.
That was when she realized - there was a full moon outside, clearly in view. Remus's very unchanged voice could be heard from outside, talking naturally, as though there was nothing to fear.
Because there wasn't.
"Oh, Lyall." Andromeda took his hands. "This isn't real."
"What isn't? And why are you shaking?"
"Listen to me. You're in a lot of trouble right now; you have to wake up."
"But I like it here," Lyall said with a frown.
"You'll die eventually. You'll be smothered to death by your own wishful thinking."
"You're so morbid," Lyall laughed. "Of course I won't. I'm happy and safe with the people who matter the most to me."
"But you aren't really with them. You're more alone than you've ever been. Think of the people who aren't gone. I need you. Teddy needs you."
"He's right there-"
"-well past his bedtime. But he's still up because Remus is here, and you just need to think your son isn't a werewolf because it's all you ever wanted for him."
Something in Lyall's eyes flickered. "Maybe I should get Remus inside."
"No. You need to-"
"What are you two doing in here?"
Hope was coming through the door with a suspicious look on her face.
"Hope! Tell Andromeda our son's fine," Lyall said.
"He is having a bad hair day," Hope contended, kissing Lyall on the cheek. "Everything's fine, Andromeda. Shouldn't you be on your way?"
"I wasn't done speaking with Lyall, actually."
"Honestly, you'd think he was replacing Ted or something," Hope told her. "My husband's alive, so stop trying to poach him because yours isn't."
The mention of Ted brought on the threat of tears, but Andromeda willed herself not to give in.
"You're one to talk," she said. "You're not Hope at all. Poor Hope must be turning in her grave with what you've done to her husband."
"I think she'd be more worried about you pretending you never wished Dora hadn't married his son. You still wish it, don't you?"
"Of course not. Dora loved him. I loved him, he was my son-in-law."
Hope smirked, but Lyall spoke before she could respond. "Wait - why are you talking about Remus in past tense?"
"Because our little boy's all grown up now, with one of his own!" Hope said in a shrill voice.
Lyall looked back at the window. "We should get Remus inside."
"Why? He's so happy out there..."
"When he was small, he was attacked on a full moon," Andromeda interjected. "You know he was. Lyall, stop being fooled - you of all people must know something isn't right."
"If I were you," Hope said, "I would stop talking."
Andromeda wasn't paying attention. "Wake up!"
Hope grabbed a bottle of Firewhiskey and hit Andromeda in the head; the last thing Andromeda saw before losing consciousness was Dora come into the kitchen to say goodnight.
Megan looked at her hands. She was a kid again; it felt strange to be this short.
Next to her were Hestia, Charlie, Bill, Tonks and her mother. She'd forgotten they had all spent a week together when she was eight, and Hestia would've been... sixteen.
This was where Hestia wished she was? Sixteen again?
"It's no problem to watch Megan," Hestia was saying.
Phyllis clearly wasn't expecting instant agreement. "Oh - I thought you were going to say no. You're growing up."
"Megan's Ron's age, we're used to small - big children," Charlie added.
"Why didn't it ever occur to you to have us play together?" Megan asked without thinking.
"You two didn't really play together well," Hestia said.
Megan vaguely remembered not liking a boy with red hair. How had she never realized it was Ron?
"We weren't really close at Hogwarts either," Megan blurted as she walked over to them.
Bill laughed. "You're not at Hogwarts yet!"
"Are you feeling okay?" Phyllis asked. "Maybe I should stay home."
"No! I have to - I mean, I want to play with Hestia and her friends."
"She's probably just excited because I'm her favorite person," Tonks said, and Megan was startled. Seeing Tonks had been one thing - she knew it wasn't really her. But hearing her voice...
"I will be home soon," Phyllis said. "I believe you!"
Megan frowned, but before she could process what her mother had said, her surroundings changed; she was now sitting on the swings, watching Bill, Charlie, Tonks and Hestia talk on a picnic blanket.
Megan listened for a break in the conversation; but Hestia and her friends were laughing so hard, she didn't think there ever would be one. Their conversation didn't even make sense.
"And then the dragon said, I had lunch with Alastor Moody!" Hestia clapped her hands together as her friends laughed loudly with her.
"Okay, that's enough!" Megan exclaimed as she ran up to her sister.
"Can it wait, Megan? We're expecting Dumbledore any minute -"
"No, it can't wait. It's important."
"What's wrong?"
"Alone."
Hestia sighed. "Sorry, I should take care of this."
She led Megan closer to the house. "What is it? Did you hurt yourself?"
"Hestia, none of this is really happening."
"What's not happening?"
"Let's break it down. Since when do dragons talk? Or have lunch with people?"
"I didn't say anything about dragons," Hestia said.
"Yeah, you did. Just now. Why?"
Hestia checked Megan's forehead. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine. You're the one who is very sick right now, and if you don't listen to me, we'll lose you forever. Kingsley will lose you."
Hestia smiled. "Kingsley's not going to lose me. If anything, I think he might be the one."
"So you... know Kingsley." Megan realized she could work with this. "If you're sixteen, Kingsley's in his late twenties. You don't know him now, at least not personally. You won't meet him until you join the Order years from now.
"I don't want to talk about that, I'm in my happy place," Hestia said.
"Too bad, because we're going to talk about it. Hestia, you know deep down this isn't real. None of this is real."
"Stop it!" Hestia exclaimed. "Go away and leave me alone! I want to be with my friends!"
"Fine. Let's talk to your friends."
Megan chased Hestia towards them, and before Hestia could say anything, she said loudly, "Bill, how's Fleur?"
"She's well," Bill replied. "We're getting married today."
"That's funny, considering you haven't even met her yet! Hestia," Megan continued, "don't you see what's happening? You're in a nicer time, but you can't completely filter out all the good things that happened later, so they're wedged in where it doesn't make sense!"
Hestia was backing away from Megan. "Stop it."
"And Tonks isn't really here. She's dead."
"That's not very nice," Tonks snapped.
"You're not Tonks," Megan added.
"Yes I am," Tonks said. "But are you Megan?"
"What?"
Tonks stood up. "You're not the little girl in that body either."
"Stop it," Megan hissed. "Just let my sister go."
"Go where? Moaning Myrtle's bathroom? You're not so reliable there."
"I didn't know she was going to tell," Megan said.
"But she did, and had her little confession lead to the Order, Hestia would've ended up in Azkaban. It wouldn't have been Kingsley kissing her."
Hestia started to giggle.
Megan could feel blood draining from her face. "That isn't what happened, and anyway, it's not the worst -"
"-of course it's not the worst. What's worse is that you couldn't stop them from killing Colin Creevey."
"How could I have possibly-"
"-you know how. You could have fought harder. You could've convinced him to stay hidden with Dennis. You could've been faster, smarter, a million things you weren't, because you're a useless rat who was never worthy of Dumbledore's Army."
Seeing the look on her sister's face, Hestia stopped giggling.
"What's wrong, Meg?" She asked, her voice tender. "We were just playing a game."
"Don't worry about her, she's fine," Tonks said with a wave of her hand.
"I'm not fine! We have to get out of here," Megan begged. "Wake up!"
"Shut your trap," Tonks retorted.
"Dora, she thinks you're serious," Hestia said. "Tell her you're kidding."
"Hestia, would Tonks really say those things to me?" Megan asked. "Even as a joke?"
"No - no," Hestia repeated, her brow furrowed. "I don't understand - what's gotten into you?"
"It's okay, Hestia, remember, you're in your happy place," Tonks said in a syrupy sweet voice. Hestia started to close her eyes.
"NO!" Megan screamed. "DON'T LISTEN TO HER!"
Tonks whipped out her wand, and Megan flew from the ground upwards, through her bedroom window; the door and the window both slammed shut as Megan fell facedown on the bed.
Ginny was in Harry's arms; sunlight was peering in through the window.
"Er... the Leithfold didn't give you a sex dream about me, did it?" Ginny asked.
Harry sat up and put on his glasses. "You said you didn't want to do that with my parents in the next room."
"Oh good," Ginny said. "Wait - your parents?"
"Yeah. Who else would be in the next room?"
Ginny's heart sank. "Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry... of course you'd want parents." Her eyes moved to his forehead. "But... you still have a scar."
He had once told her he wasn't ashamed of it... was it that much of who he was?
"Yeah, I told you, I got it falling down the stairs as a kid," Harry said with a laugh. "My parents called me The Boy Who Tumbled after that. Let's get going, everyone's going to be here soon to open presents."
"Presents...?"
"It's Christmas, isn't it?"
"I guess. Harry, I have to tell you something -"
But before she could finish, they were downstairs. Damned dream sequences. Her parents, Ron and Hermione were coming through the door. Sirius had already arrived, and was talking to James in the background.
"Merry Christmas, Mum," Ginny said, giving her mother a hug. "Where's everyone else? I still have other siblings, right?"
"Okay, that's enough, you know they all wanted to make it," Molly said. "You've made them feel bad enough."
"Are you coming or not?" Sirius called from the family room.
"Sirius!" Lily admonished, but she was laughing. This was going to be difficult.
As Harry sat down, James handed him a present. "This one's from your Mum and I."
Ginny watched Harry open the present, not even caring about her own. They weren't real, after all. Harry ended up pulling out a toy train.
"Thanks, Dad!" Harry gasped. "Just what I've always wanted!"
Reality. He needs to get back to reality.
"Harry, aren't you a little old for toy trains?" Ginny asked.
"The point is that his parents gave him a present," Sirius told her.
Harry shook his head. "It's perfect. Almost as good as the Firebolt Sirius gave me. Remember that?"
"I knew it was from you," Hermione said.
Now we're getting somewhere, Ginny thought. "And how did that make you feel, Hermione?"
Hermione shrugged. "It didn't bother me, why would it?"
"Because Sirius -" Ginny stopped. "Harry, can we talk alone?"
"You lot keep doing that," Sirius said. "It isn't going to work."
Ginny ignored him and led Harry by the stairs.
"I don't like standing by the steps," Harry said.
"Of course not. You had to sleep in a cupboard underneath them for ten years. Deep down, you know the truth."
"What are you talking about? Mum and Dad never got that cross with me!"
"Harry... they're dead. They were killed by You-Know-Who when you were one."
"I don't know who, actually, and they're fine," Harry said.
"V-Voldemort." Ginny laughed wryly. "Wow, I can finally say it, and it's in a place that's not real."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "It's Christmas. Can we not?
Ginny held his hands. "I know this is hard for you, but you've got to listen to me. These are not your parents, and Sirius is not Sirius."
"He is," Harry insisted.
"Sirius died, Harry. You saw it happen."
Harry let go of Ginny's hands.
"Sirius!" He called. "Come here! Ginny fancies you're dead."
"I don't fancy the idea," Ginny said. "I hate it, because I know what he was to you, and I always thought he deserved better than- "
"Better than what?" Sirius asked as he approached.
"See? He's right here. Touch him so you know he's not a ghost."
Ginny grudgingly touched Sirius's arm; she gasped as he grabbed her wrist.
"Ah, Ginny Weasley," he said. "Didn't your father tell you not to trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?"
"You're not thinking for yourself," Ginny snapped. "You're using our emotions."
"Oh, are we playing games now?" Harry asked.
"More like a riddle," Sirius replied.
Ginny winced, and Sirius laughed. "Is befriending a diary and almost killing your classmates still a sore spot?"
"I know what you are, you can't upset me," Ginny said. She knew her face had gone pale, though. Don't listen to him... it, don't listen to it...
"Oh, you think you're so clever. Let me tell you something - you're as puny as you were the day you opened that diary. You just became better at hiding it, through your stupid jokes, through falling in love with the hero who didn't even remember what happened to you."
Ginny swallowed. "He remembered, he was just going through-"
"Here you go again, spilling your secrets to something you can't really see. Tell me more, little girl. Tell me how you were so mad at Harry for abandoning you to go on a secret mission for Dumbledore, and hated yourself when you thought he'd died because you'd never forgiven him."
"I understood his reasons," Ginny said hoarsely.
"But you were still angry. He doesn't know that, does he? He doesn't know sometimes you still worry it won't work, that he'll find another reason to leave?"
"I would never leave her," Harry interrupted. "I think we should go back to opening presents."
"You don't want me to stop," Sirius said. "Aren't you glad you have parents and a Godfather? Aren't you glad that you're only famous for your success on the Quidditch field?"
"Harry, it's not Sirius," Ginny told him.
She pulled out her wand and cried, "stupefy!"
But instead of hitting Sirius, the spell hit her.
When Megan woke up, she was on the floor of a strange dining room. It was in the room of a very old house; Grimmauld Place, she realized. They'd gone several months before for a gathering.
At the table were Hestia and her friends, who still looked young; but several people wwere with them, some of whom Megan vaguely remembered as having been people who had been killed. Sirius Black... Alastor Moody... Emmaline Vance.. of course Remus and Tonks... Dumbledore...
Her friends from the Order. They were all alive here. With a start, Megan realized their parents were also there. In this version of reality, they'd always been in the Order.
"And we have Potions tomorrow," Hestia was saying. "I hate Potions, personally."
"So you're in the Order, but still at Hogwarts?" Megan asked.
"Of course," Hestia said. "And yeah, I'm in the Order. We're a defense group."
"So there's a war."
Hestia paused. "No. No war."
"Don't be morbid, Meggie," Tonks said with a laugh. "It's for pleasure."
"And why was I sleeping on the floor?" Megan asked.
"Because you were tired," Hestia replied. "It's okay to take a nap."
"Am I three now? I thought I was eight!'
"Megan," Glynn said sternly
Megan looked at Sirius Black. "I'd forgotten you were friends with Hestia."
"Of course we're friends," Sirius said.
"All of you," Megan added. You're all here. With her."
"What do you mean?" Remus asked in his typical friendly voice. "Why wouldn't we be?"
"Yes," a woman wearing green robes said. "I'm certainly not going anywhere... Hestia looks up to me, since i was in the Order the first time."
"And you'd be...?"
"Emmaline Vance."
Megan looked at Bill, who was feeding Fleur crepes with his fingers. His face didn't have scars on it... Dumbledore and Kingsley were speaking quietly, Kingsley's other hand stroking Hestia's... Alastor Moody's eye was spinning....
"Hestia," Megan began, inching closer to her sister, "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much you longed for them to be back. But they aren't real."
"Yes, they are," Hestia insisted desperately.
"There's holes in your universe, and you know it. You're sixteen, and yet your boyfriend is the Minister of Magic. And what sixteen year old girl joins a club with her parents and her school Headmaster?"
"You should stop talking," Tonks warned Megan.
"Close your eyes and think, Hestia."
Hestia briefly closed her eyes, then opened them, shaking her head wildly. "No. How can that world be real?"
"I wish I had some philosophical answer to that," Megan said, "but I don't. I really don't. All I know is... Kingsley's sitting by you as you struggle for breath, begging for you to wake up. He's trying to stay calm, and yet I can tell he's scared out of his mind. So look around, and tell yourself that none of this makes any sense."
Tonks had begun to stand up, but something told Megan not to flinch. She thought she had her.
"Let's go," Megan said, and she grabbed Hestia's wrist. After half of a second, Hestia stood, and they ran just in time for Tonks to raise her wand.
Andromeda moaned as she held her head. It was pounding... what had happened?
She opened her eyes to find herself in what appeared to be a guest room. She sat up and gathered her thoughts.
It appeared that a few hours had passed - it was morning now. Andromeda hastily made her way down the stairs.
"Just in time for eggs florentine!" Hope said happily when Andromeda entered. To Andromeda's bitter relief, Remus and Dora were not present. She couldn't have that right now.
"How are you feeling?" Lyall asked, looking up from the paper.
"Fine, considering I was hit in the head with a bottle of firewhiskey," Andromeda snapped.
"We're getting too old to drink that much," Hope said, handing Andromeda a plate. "Eating helps, if you have the stomach for it."
"I don't have the stomach for a lot of things," Andromeda said. She realized they were eating chocolate frogs, not eggs.
"I've never seen eggs that look like chocolate before," Andromeda remarked to Lyall.
"They're delicious!" Lyall agreed. Or at least, he thought he was agreeing.
"So we wanted your thoughts," Hope said as she sat down. "Where's the best place for two retirees to go? We were thinking Paris."
"I thought I won the trip to Paris," Andromeda said.
Lyall looked puzzled for a moment, but just as Andromeda hoped she'd gotten through to him, he said, "I don't think Paris is quite the place, dear. We've already been, after all. How about Amsterdam?"
"Oh, I don't think I'd like it. What about somewhere in Spain?"
"Spain... now Spain I could do," Lyall said with a smile.
Hope grabbed some napkins, which became brochures. "Here are some cities we could go to... we could go for a whole year, if we wanted! Get a villa, have the kids visit us... what do you say?"
"I love it. In fact, let's leave this afternoon!"
"Yes, just pull a Spanish villa out of your arses, that'll work," Andromeda said sarcastically.
Hope held Andromeda's hand. "You can visit us too. Or get your own villa."
The doorbell rang; Hope went to see who it was.
"Lyall, this is just a dream," Andromeda said. "You absolutely must believe me. Hope is gone. Remus and Dora-"
"-is here!" Hope announced, bringing Dora into the kitchen with her.
"We forgot Teddy's - well, teddy," Dora explained.
"It must be outside, let me get it," Hope said, and she hurried off.
Dora sat down next to Andromeda. "How are you, Mum? You passed out last night."
"I can't..." Andromeda said.
Dora put her hand on Andromeda's shoulder. "Mum, what is it? Why won't you look at me?"
Andromeda covered her face so Dora wouldn't see her crying. "Go away. I know it's not you. Go away."
"But it is me, Mum. Who else would it be?"
"Please go away... oh god, you don't even know you're not you... you're Lyall, and you don't even know it..."
"I'm Lyall," Lyall reminded her.
"I'm back - oh dear," Hope said. "Andromeda, what is this? Why are you crying?"
"She doesn't know who I am," Dora said, sounding scared. "I think we need to take her to St. Mungo's."
"No!" Andromeda sprang up. "Absolutely not. Do you think I don't want to believe you're Dora? That she's alive, with her husband and son? Do you think every inch of me doesn't want to hug you and never let go? But I can't."
"You're not going to change her mind," Hope taunted. "Lyall, come on, we have a villa to get to."
Hope headed out the door, but before Lyall could follow, Andromeda grabbed his arm.
"You know it's not her," she hissed. "Hope is dead. Your son is dead."
Lyall's face was paling. "I can't believe you... it's not true..."
"Would you rather die? Would you rather be smothered into a shell of your former self? Because that's what will happen. And then I will go the rest of your life hating you for leaving Teddy and I, and the duration of mine hating myself for those feelings."
"Mum-" Dora began.
Andromeda couldn't hold it in any longer; she held Dora very tight, crying unabashedly.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry I couldn't protect you."
When Andromeda finally pulled away, Dora looked very confused.
"See what I mean?" Andromeda burst out. "This is madness! It's the worst dream in the world!"
"You're a dear friend," Lyall said slowly, "but you must be mistaken."
"You're the one who is mistaken. Like many who have been fooled by Erised Leithfolds."
Lyall's eyes widened in understanding. "An Erised Leithfold?"
Andromeda held his hand. "Come on. Wake up."
"What is taking you so long?"
Hope had returned with her hands on her hips.
"It isn't her," Andromeda reminded him.
"Of course it's me," Hope said, walking to Lyall.
Lyall was shaking his head. "No, something's not right... you're supposed to be... dead."
Hope's forehead creased with feigned worry. "Lyall, sweetheart, what are you talking about? I'm right here. I've never gone anywhere..."
"Don't listen to her," Andromeda cut in.
"Mum, what's gotten into you?" Dora asked.
Andromeda couldn't respond without crying again, and there was no time for that.
"You're ignoring her," Hope said. "Like you did before. She's used to it."
Hope turned back to Lyall. "Andromeda's just taking the mickey. It's all right. We're going to go to our new villa and spend the rest of our lives there. Remus, Dora and Teddy will be visiting very soon, and their visits will be frequent."
"I don't have a son anymore..." Lyall drifted.
"Don't be so morbid! Of course you do. A son who had a wonderful childhood, innocent and free of monsters. Isn't that what you've always wanted? Why are you letting this woman trick you into thinking otherwise?"
"You're the one being tricked!" Andromeda insisted. "Lyall, listen to me-"
Hope had kissed him, and Lyall was kissing her back. Andromeda made to pull him away violently, but the floor opened and Andromeda fell through it.
Hestia woke up gasping for air.
Where was she? The last thing she remembered was the Order meeting... now she was on the floor, her Mum on one side of her, Kingsley on the other. Lydia and Clancy Shacklebolt were seated in front of them, along with Molly and Arthur Weasley. Megan was next to her, sitting up slowly.
"It'll take her a minute," a man's voice said. "Someone should get a wet cloth."
"It's okay," Kingsley said gently. "You're okay."
"Where did everyone go?" Hestia asked weakly.
"We're right-"
"-she means the Order meeting," Megan explained.
Everything came back to Hestia: the picnic with her friends... the Order meeting... the world where none of her friends had died, where she was still young, where her parents had been there from the start....
"It wasn't real," Hestia said. Her stomach was churning. Of course it wasn't, she'd realized five seconds ago that it wasn't. And yet, she'd been so happy.
"It was an Erised Leithfold," the man in front of her explained. Hestia realized it was Amos Diggory. "It almost killed you."
Hestia looked over to her right, and let out a loud gasp when she saw Lyall and Harry gasping for breath; Ginny and Andromeda were next to them, also unconscious but breathing evenly.
"Why haven't they woken up?" Hestia demanded.
"Unfortunately, now that it's lost hold on you, it'll want a tighter hold on them," Amos said.
"Will Ginny and Andromeda be enough, then?" Kingsley asked.
"That remains to be seen," Amos replied.
The door flew open, and George, Charlie, Percy, Ron and Hermione bolted in.
"Harry! Ginny!" Hermione cried. "What happened?"
"Are you okay? Are they okay?" Charlie asked, his eyes moving from Hestia to Harry to Ginny.
"Yeah," Hestia lied.
She stood up, and Kingsley wrapped an arm around her.
"Let's get you some tea," he said.
Hestia didn't want to go into the kitchen... she wanted to go back...
But Kingsley was leading her away.
When Ginny woke up, she was on the couch of what looked like a combination of the Hogwarts Great Hall and the Gryffindor Common Room. The portrait hole was there, but candles were flying over them, and the only Gryffindors Ginny had known were her brothers, Ron, Hermione, and Neville.
"You keep falling asleep," Fred told her as he passed by while stroking a chocolate frog. George was doing the same.
Fred...
"Fred," Ginny said, and she struggled to hold back tears. Oh, how she'd missed him.
"Are you okay? You've been weird all day."
"I'm okay. Where's Harry?"
Fred pointed, and Ginny turned; he was having a lively conversation with Dumbledore, who appeared to be opening a present from him. Not far away, Remus, Sirius and James were clinking drinks together.
"Harry," Ginny said as she approached him.
"You remembered!" Dumbledore laughed, pulling out purple socks.
"I don't understand socks," Hermione said. "I'd rather have something practical."
"Which is why I got you this," Ron told her, and he handed her a shoelace.
Ginny turned back to Harry. "Harry, Snape killed Dumbledore on his own orders years ago. Remember?"
"Killed? Miss Weasley, I assure you I am alive and well," Dumbledore said.
"Quidditch!" Harry said suddenly. "We're all playing Quidditch! It's an annual Christmas tradition."
"Excellent," Sirius said as he passed. Ginny glared at him darkly, and Sirius grinned.
"Here's the thing, little girl," he said. "I've lost hold on the others. Well, I still have Lyall Lupin on hold, but I don't need him anymore. He's extra weight. We all have regrets in life; we all have people we've lost we wish we could bring back, things we've done we wish we hadn't... but your boyfriend's list of regrets and lost chances will keep me fed for a very, very long time. I'll let the sad sack go - and keep the young man."
"I'm glad for what I have," Harry said in monotone.
"No, you're not!" Ginny said hotly. "Don't let him - it - win."
Harry wove his fingers into hers. "You worry too much. I'm happy, and I want you to be happy too."
"You won't be happy dead! Teddy. Think of Teddy."
Something in Harry's eyes flickered.
"Teddy..." He stopped. "Where is he?"
"It's time to play Quidditch," Sirius reminded Harry.
"Let me find out where Teddy is first," Harry told Sirius. "And Andromeda... they need me. We're all we've got left of you."
"I can show you," Ginny told Harry, extending her arm.
"I know a faster way," Sirius said, and he put his hand on Harry's shoulder. With his other hand, he pushed Ginny backwards into the air, right through the Fat Lady's portrait.
When Hestia heard her mother exclaim "Andromeda! Lyall!", she and Kingsley hurried back into the family room.
Andromeda was sitting up, but Lyall still looked disoriented.
"Hope?" He called.
Hestia took Lyall's hand. "It wasn't real."
"How'd - I was losing," Andromeda said weakly. Her eyes were bloodshot.
"Remus? Hope?" Lyall called feebly.
His eyes widened in comprehension, and all color drained from his face. "The leithfold."
Hestia nodded. "Yeah."
"Harry!" Ron cried suddenly.
Harry was convulsing now.
"It's taking a stronger hold," Lyall realized aloud. "That's why it let me go... we need more people. She alone-" Lyall pointed to Ginny - "can't do it. It'll weaken her. I'll go."
He stood, but only with the help of Phyllis and Glynn.
"You can't, you just woke up!" Andromeda protested.
"Which is why I'm the best candidate to go back! I know the source."
"You can barely stand..."
"I'll be able to in my sleep. I promise. Just don't tell Re-"
Lyall stopped. "I mean, I can do it."
Andromeda looked skeptical.
"We're going with you," Ron said firmly. "We should've been here in the beginning..."
"You're allowed to go on vacation," Hestia told him gently.
"But we're also allowed to put everything on hold when need be," Hermione said. "It's what we've always done."
"Well, I'm coming too, then," Andromeda said.
"And me," Hestia volunteered.
It wasn't an easy thing to offer; not when she still felt weak in the knees. She couldn't even imagine what shape Lyall was in...
But she also understood what he was getting at, and he was right: they could deal with their own aches and pains later.
"You're all mad," Phyllis said flatly.
"We'll be stronger together," Hestia assured her.
Phyllis didn't look convinced.
"I should come this time, too," Kingsley said. "I know I'm the Minister, but..."
"That's why you should stay," Hestia said. "Please, Kingsley. I've got this. We've all got this."
"I can't let you do it alone."
"You let Megan do it alone to get me," Hestia pointed out.
"And the entire time, I knew I should have gone instead. Yes, she got you out, but what if she hadn't?"
"We don't have time for heroic sacrifice here," Andromeda snapped, not taking her eyes off of Harry. "Kingsley might as well come, he led the war, he can lead this."
Lydia hugged Kingsley. "Be careful."
"I'll be fine, Mum."
"Are you going or not?" Amos barked.
Hestia and Kingsley squeezed one another's hands, then laid down for a restless nap.
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Date: 2015-04-12 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-12 01:41 am (UTC)