Married/Single/Mommy/Childless Friends
May. 3rd, 2014 08:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So the internet has been talking about this for a while now - friends with kids versus friends who don't have them, single friends versus married friends, etc. We get videos like this, where Moms woefully explain why they can't talk to their childless friends anymore, and corresponding comments saying those Moms are selfish.
I don't have kids, but I have friends who are married and/or have kids, and yeah, your friendship changes. I'd argue, however, that if your day-to-day life works differently than a friend's, it can be hard to get them (however well-meaning) to really understand why regardless of the reason. I worked full time while I was in college, and my classmates would be all, "hey, let's do this at 2 PM on a Tuesday!" Seriously? Sometimes I haven't even had a chance to eat lunch yet. The real world isn't a 90's sitcom where you can sit around a cafe all day and still have a job. 9:30 PM, then? Are you kidding? I wake up at six tomorrow morning.
But enough talking from me. Let's examine both sides and the crazy things they assume about one another. With pop culture references, because they're like, awesome.
What your married friends think you do for fun:

What your single friends think you do for fun:

How your married friends think you see children:

How your single friends think you see children:

How your married friends read your Facebook posts:

How your single friends read your Facebook posts:

What you think your married friend just said:

What you think your single friend just said:

Of course, it's only natural - look at what you thought adulthood would be.

And what you think youth is like now:

See? Milkshake's always sweeter, pants always fit better.. and friends will always miss each other. In more ways than one.

I don't have kids, but I have friends who are married and/or have kids, and yeah, your friendship changes. I'd argue, however, that if your day-to-day life works differently than a friend's, it can be hard to get them (however well-meaning) to really understand why regardless of the reason. I worked full time while I was in college, and my classmates would be all, "hey, let's do this at 2 PM on a Tuesday!" Seriously? Sometimes I haven't even had a chance to eat lunch yet. The real world isn't a 90's sitcom where you can sit around a cafe all day and still have a job. 9:30 PM, then? Are you kidding? I wake up at six tomorrow morning.
But enough talking from me. Let's examine both sides and the crazy things they assume about one another. With pop culture references, because they're like, awesome.
What your married friends think you do for fun:

What your single friends think you do for fun:

How your married friends think you see children:

How your single friends think you see children:

How your married friends read your Facebook posts:

How your single friends read your Facebook posts:

What you think your married friend just said:

What you think your single friend just said:

Of course, it's only natural - look at what you thought adulthood would be.

And what you think youth is like now:

See? Milkshake's always sweeter, pants always fit better.. and friends will always miss each other. In more ways than one.

no subject
Date: 2014-05-03 05:54 pm (UTC)I can't say me getting married changed anything in particular because I've been with the same guy since high school and lived with him several years before getting married. The change already happened when we started dating all those years ago; I started to feel left out by my best friends. They did stuff together but never even asked me to go with them because they thought I'd be busy with my boyfriend. That felt pretty bad.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-03 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-03 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-03 11:27 pm (UTC)The reason is I just don't think about it because I'm a strong individualist. I vehemently believe in the philosophy of "Live & Let Live" where I let people live the lives they want to live while I live mine the way I live (which does factor into individualism a lot impo). Then, with individualism itself...I believe that everyone is different in their own unique and special way, so I don't expect them to go along what the rest of society expects of them if they are a particular martial status as well as have kids or not.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-04 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-04 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-06 11:15 pm (UTC)