PoA Re-Read: Chapters Seven and Eight
Oct. 16th, 2013 01:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
author_by_nightWe're baaaack.
Chapters 1-2
Chapters 3-4
Chapters 5-6
Chapter Seven: The Boggart in the Wardrobe
Draco doesn’t show up until they’re halfway through Potions, and it’s a mark of Snape’s favoritism that he gets away with it. I think Snape would normally give you detention for being late, and if you pointed out that you were in the Hospital Wing, you’d get two detentions.
Pansy asks her sort-of boyfriend if it hurts; instead of pretending to be a macho man, Draco plays wounded ferret. Okay. Well, it does work for the impending trial…
Ron is forced to help Draco cut up daisy roots because Draco’s arm hurts. Ron chops them up angrily, and Snape makes him switch roots with Draco. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am with him on that one. JUST that one. But it sucks if you’re the narrator’s best friend. Draco gets Snape to make Harry skin his shrivelfig... there's a Harry/Draco joke in there somewhere.
This is obviously just so Draco can taunt them in peace, which he does, saying Hagrid’s bound to be fired. He then asks if his arm will ever function the same way again. Harry says Draco’s just doing it to get Hagrid fired, as though this is a revelation. Draco says that’s partly it, but there’s other benefits, such as having your sort-of girlfriend sobbing over your arm.
Neville is, of course, having trouble with his potion; Snape asks Neville why he’s such an idiot, and says that Trevor will be fed the potion at the end of class, and they will “see what happens.”
… Holy shit, Snape. I don’t care if your father was a drunken asshole and the girl you had feelings for died married to a man you hated, that’s low. Not that I didn’t remember this scene, I did, but it’s pretty disgusting even having read it a few times now. Though it’s possible this was an empty threat and nothing too harmful or irreversible would have happened.
Hermione offers to help Neville in secret, and in the meantime Seamus says a muggle spotted Sirius, but that by the time the MoM got there he’d vanished. I want to read that fanfic.
Ron doesn’t like the sounds of this, but Draco sure does. He asks if Harry’s trying to capture Sirius, and says if it were him, he’d be out there looking for Sirius. (Which makes me wonder - how much do the Malfoys really know? Did Narcissa always know Sirius was innocent? Or was that just icing on the cake when Voldie/Peter returned?) When Harry is oblivious, Draco realizes he doesn’t know, but continues to taunt him anyway. Harry asks what Draco’s talking about, but Snape interrupts to “warn” them that there’s only a minute before it’s time to test Neville’s potion on Trevor.
Harry asks Ron what he thinks Snape meant, and Ron assures Harry that Draco’s just trying to make him do something stupid.
They gather around to watch Snape feed Trevor, the Gryffindors looking fearful and the Slytherins excited. Trevor turns into a tadpole; Snape looks disappointed and pours enough drops on Trevor for him to reappear full grown. He takes five points from Gryffindor because he knows Hermione helped Neville cheat.
Ron seethes all the way back to the entrance hall, and asks Hermione why she just didn’t lie. That’s when they realize she’s not there. They realize she’s panting and running up the stairs. Ron asks how she’s doing that, and Hermione makes up a story about having to go back for something. Ron notices all of Hermione’s books, and points out that she doesn’t need them. After Hermione runs off, he asks Harry if he thinks she’s hiding something.
Remus enters the Defense Against the Dark Arts class after everyone’s arrived. Remus is still shabby but looks healthier, as though he’s eaten a bit more. He tells everyone they’ll only need their wands, and leads them out of the room.
Peeves has put gum in the keyhole of the staff room, and starts singing at Remus, calling him “Loopy loopy Lupin.” Everyone’s shocked that he’d be rude to a teacher, and are even more shocked that Remus just smiles back. Remus politely asks Peeves to remove the gum, but Peeves won’t, so Remus points his wand at Peeves, shouts “Waddiwasi,” and the gum goes down Peeves’s nose. Apparently Remus is still his Maraudering self.
Everyone is impressed, but it only lasts for a minute: Snape is in the room, and you know, I almost think Snape knew just where Remus was headed and suggested Peeves did it. Except I can’t see Snape having enough sense of humor. Anyhow, Snape is sitting in an armchair, and tells Remus to leave the door open because he’d “rather not witness this.” Snape gets up ad leaves, but not before telling Remus that Neville can’t do anything difficult unless Hermione’s helping him.
Because Remus is awesome, he calmly says that he’d been hoping Neville would help get them started, and that “I am sure he will perform it admirably.”
The wardrobe wobbles, and Remus assures everyone that it’s “just” a boggart. Remus explains that boggarts like dark, cold places, and he’d asked Dumbledore to leave this particular boggart in the wardrobe so his third year students could do it. Remus then asks if anyone knows what a boggart is, and to no one’s surprise, Hermione explains: it’s a shape shifted that takes the form of a person, thing or situation that will scare the shit out of you. Except not in those words.
Remus asks Harry if he knows what their advantage is, and Harry has a hard time thinking of an answer because Hermione is almost literally jumping up and down with her hand raised. Oh, Hermione. Harry reasons that there’s so many of them, it won’t know what shape it should be.
FFP: This is so sad.
Me: Why?
FFP: Hearing Harry’s voice must have been like hearing James’s voice.
Me: … right.
Remus says that what really scares a boggart off is laughter, and that to make yourself laugh, you have to turn it into something funny. The magic word is “Riddikkulus!” Yay, more fake, pun!Latin. If a little brilliant. A little.
Remus calls on Neville, who is only slightly terrified. Remus asks who scares Neville the most, and Neville says it’s Snape. I can’t imagine why. Remus asks what kind of clothes his grandmother wears; apparently, something straight out of the 1890’s. (I think. My steampunk friends may yell at me.) She wears a tall had with a vulture on top, a long dress, and sometimes a fox fur scarf. Everyone laughs at the idea of crossdressing sSnape, and the Boggart wobbles.
Remus tells everyone to think of what scares them the most, then make it comical. Harry’s first thought is a Voldemort returned to full strength, but what really brings him fear is the thought of a Dementor. He actually feels as though a Dementor is in the room. Harry shivers and hopes nobody noticed, but everyone else is a little freaked out, too.
Remus asks if everyone is ready, and Harry has no idea how to make a Dementor less frightening, but they’re already starting so it’s too late for him.
Neville looks pale, but still turns Snape into his grandmother. A snake in bitchy old lady’s clothing. Parvati goes up and beheads a mummy; Seamus renders a banshee voiceless (hey, Irish folklore! /Irishpride); the Boggart gets confused (according to Remus) and goes from being a rat to a rattlesnake; Dean traps a severed hand into a mouse trap; Ron takes a spider’s legs off; then it’s Harry’s turn – or was.
Before Harry can do anything, Remus hurries forward. The Boggart turns into “an orb”, or as we’ll find out later, the Full Moon.
Aside: Given how different fans felt Remus was when comparing him in the earlier books to the later ones, I was curious as to whether or not we’d see a bit of the Remus we see in the last two books here. I find it interesting that just in this chapter, Remus has exposed his greatest vulnerability in order to protect someone he cares about. He can’t escape it, no matter how hard he may try, and the werewolf inside tends to surface at the most crucial times.
Neville has to face Boggart!Snape again, and this time he does it a little more bravely. (Another aside: This is solid yet subtle foreshadowing for Neville’s character development.) Remus gives five points to everyone except Neville, who gets ten because he’s awesome. Officially, because he did it twice. Harry points out that he didn’t do anything, and Remus says that he and Hermione get points for answering questions correctly. Remus tells everyone what their homework is, and they leave. Harry is worried Remus thinks he’s weak.
Ron says that this is the best class they’ve ever had; Hermione agrees, but says she wished she’d had a turn. Ron ribs that her fear would’ve been a piece of homework that only got a 9/10.
Chapter Eight: Flight of the Fat Lady
(Wow, we’re there already? I forgot how fast the early books move. If this were book seven, Harry would have just gotten on The Knight Bus.)
FFP: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE SIRIUS IS IN IT AND POSSIBLY WEARING LEATHER.
Me: … I’m pretty sure the leather part was a fanfic. Also, he's technically not really in it.
FFP: Darn.
We find out that in the time that has passed, DADA is almost everyone’s favorite class, except Draco’s because Draco is a whiny little ferret. Potions, however, is less pleasant because he’s angry about Remus turning him into a Boggart and is being worse to Neville than ever. Trelawney still looks at Harry with misty eyes, but has become Lavender and Parvati’s idol, as they apparently now eat lunch with her. God, what has she told them? That they’re going to become famous? Not even the trio like Hagrid’s class. Maybe this is where students not liking Hagrid began – as I said earlier, it seemed to me that he became something of a joke to everyone, not just Draco, with the exception of the trio.
So apparently this is a Quidditch Chapter. I’m not the biggest fan of Quidditch chapters because I’m not a sports person, but I’ll play along. We’re given what feels like a short Wikipedia “stub” on what Quidditch entails and what everyone player’s position is.
Oliver Wood, the Captain, is urging them to win because it’s their last chance, and more importantly, his as it’s his last year. He tells them that while they sucked more than ever the previous year, the Chasers are superb, the Beaters are unbeatable, and the Seeker is above average. Oliver delivers the last bit (not in those words) with a prideful look at Harry. It kind of makes me wish we’d seen him in one of the last two books. Fred and George tell Oliver they think he’s “very good, too.” If this was a Success Story movie, there’d be inspirational music right about now.
And with that, more time passes. With all due respect to JK Rowling, her transitions are awkward in this book.
One night after training, Harry comes back to see all of the Gryffindors flitting with excitement. The first Hogsmeade weekend – the weekend of Halloween – is here.
Harry is sad because he never got his permission slip signed, and Hermione tells him that once they find Sirius, he’ll be off the hook. Except the slip still won’t be signed, but okay. Ron suggests that Harry ask McGonagall if he can go now, an idea Hermione hates, so Ron pushes it more. For once, Harry decides something before Ron and Hermione argue the point to a pulp, and agrees to talk to her.
At that moment, Crookshanks jumps onto Hermione’s lap with a dead spider. Ew. Ron asks if Crookshanks has to eat it in front of them, and even as a cat owner – maybe especially as a cat owner - I’m with him on that one. If I’m with my cat and she starts doing something gross, I don’t just sit there and watch.
The trio start to do their homework when Crookshanks pounces on Ron’s bag. Ron can’t get Crookshanks away from it, and Hermione screams at Ron not to hurt him. Ron whirls the bag (and, by association, Crookshanks) around, and Scabbers -
FFP: PETER!
Me: - flies out. Crookshanks chases Scabbers, and Ron screams, “catch that cat!” I’ve never seen a more original line. Oh well.
Ron and Hermione get into an argument; Ron thinks there’s something wrong with Crookshanks and that Crookshanks has scared Scabbers to near death, but Hermione thinks Ron’s overreacting. So does everyone else, apparently, as they giggle at him helpfully.
Ron and Hermione are barely speaking the next day, because what’s UST without the T? After Herbology they bump into Lavender, who is crying. Oh, this scene… I’m already cringing.
We find out that Lavender’s crying because she got a letter from home saying that her rabbit, Blinky, was killed by a fox. Lavender says she really ought to have known, because Trelawney told her the thing she dreaded the most would happen on the sixteenth of October.
Hermione hesitates, and then asks if Lavender was dreading Blinky being killed by a fox specifically. Of course the answer’s no, so Hermione asks if Blinky was old; nope,
“he was a baby.” Our tactful Hermione asks how, then, Lavender could have dreaded him dying, and goes on to say that he probably didn’t really even die that day. All the while, Lavender is sobbing. FFS, Hermione. At least she didn't point out that Blinky was technically a bunny, not a baby.
Aside: That whole scene does make me wonder why Hermione was so often portrayed as, well, sweet - when really, she wasn't sweet at all. She had her moments, but mostly, there were reasons Ron and Harry hated her at first. (Naturally it's exactly why I love her character. But I wouldn't want to know her IRL.)
Ron tells Lavender not to worry about it, that Hermione just doesn’t care about people’s pets. Ron, this isn’t about you. They don’t talk at all during Transfiguration. Shocker.
McGonagall asks everyone for their permission slips; Neville says he thinks he lost his, and McGonagall tells him his grandmother mailed it to McGonagall personally because “she seemed to think it was safer.” Probably true. Harry goes to McGonagall’s desk, and says his aunt and uncle “forgot” to sign his form.
McGonagall avoids looking at Harry as she shuffles papers on her desk, and tells him no, not without a form. Harry protests, but McGonagall refuses; when she looks at him, Harry thinks it might be with pity.
Dean offers to forge Uncle Vernon’s signature, but Harry points out it’s too late for that. Ron suggests the Invisibility Cloak, but Hermione reminds them that Dementors can see through them. Percy tries to be helpful by pointing out that apart from sweetshops, joke shops, and the Shrieking Shack, Harry’s really not missing a thing. Oh, Percy.
Breakfast the morning of Halloween is depressing, to say the least. He walks his friends to the entrance hall, gets made fun of by Draco, and when he goes to the Common Room he’s greeted by Colin Creevey, who invites Harry to sit with his friends. Colin has friends?
Harry leaves the Common Room, gets yelled at by Filch for existing, keeps walking and hears someone calling his name: “Harry?”
Remus is peering from his office door, and asks Harry what he’s doing in a far more pleasant voice than Filch. Remus asks where Ron and Hermione are, and I love that the trio are so close other characters are surprised when they’re not together. Upon realizing Harry got left behind, Remus invites him to look at the grindylow he just obtained for their next lesson. A grindyow, we learn, is a water demon. Huh, I hadn’t remembered demons being in the HP ‘verse, though they’re not exactly Joss Whedon demons.
Remus offers Harry tea, and makes a joke about tea leaves. Harry is confused because Teachers Never Talk. (They live in their classrooms, didn’t you know? Although I guess at Hogwarts, they… almost kind of do.) Remus asks Harry if he’s worried, and being the Gryffindor he is, Harry… half lies and says no. Harry then considers telling Remus about the black dog he’d seen at Magnolia Cresent, but thinks better of it.
FFP: NO OMG HARRY NO NO TELL HIM! GO BACK AND TELL HIM! FLAILS!
Me: … easy. It’s a book.
FFP: Never say it's just a book again. Ever. EVER!
I have to wonder how things would have turned out had Harry told Remus that he'd seen Sirius (or rather, "a large black dog that was staring at me intently.") Would Remus have told Dumbledore? Would Remus have wondered why he didn’t hurt Harry and start questioning the whole picture? I’m sure there’s a fanfic that ponders this very question out there somewhere.
Remus can see something’s bothering Harry; Harry denies it at first, then admits that he still doesn’t understand why Remus wouldn’t let Harry fight the boggart. Remus had assumed Harry would know, because why wouldn’t a thirteen year old boy be bothered by the fact that their teacher did something for them?
Harry tells Remus that he actually thinks it would have turned into a Dementor, which Remus calls wise because it suggests Harry’s greatest fear is fear. Interesting…
Remus finds this amusing, but it doesn’t last long as Snape comes into the room carrying a goblet – as we’ll find out later on, Wolfsbane. He snarks at Remus (shock) and leaves; Harry tries dropping hints to Remus that Snape might have poisoned it (nice to see Harry has such a high opinion of Snape), but Remus just puts it down and says it’s disgusting. He tells Harry he has more work to do, so Harry goes off.
When Ron and Hermione come back, they are armed with sweets and stories for Harry. Harry tells them that Remus accepted a goblet from Snape, and everyone is horrified. Yet again we have the theme of misinterpretation and presumed guilt – we’ll later find out that Snape was actually technically helping Remus, but right now, he looks like he might have been trying to kill him. While seeing him as capable of murder seems a little far-fetched to me, he did threaten to kill Trevor, and they say killing animals is usually where killers start. So there’s that, if it’s even true. I’m sure there’s an article on cracked.com.
Remus looks quite happy at the Feast, but Snape’s eyes keep flickering to Remus. A million shippers started shipping.
FFP: Nah, it’s Sirius who’s checking Remus out. From the bushes.
Me: … moving on.
The ghosts put on a show, which I find a little… odd. If I were a ghost, I’m not sure I’d want a bunch of teenagers and preteens gasping in delight as I flew through walls. Let me rest in peace, damn it. I’m sure the Bloody Baron, at least, is not a participant. Nearly Headless Nick does a reenactment of his botched beheading, which I wish we’d seen at least some of. (This made me think of Monty Python, then I remembered John Cleese played Nearly Headless Nick. The third HP movie should’ve put that scene in, could you imagine? It would be the most epic crossover ever.)
As they leave, Draco shouts another Dementor joke, but Harry’s too happy to care. They head towards the Common Room, but even without turning the page I know exactly what’s going to happen (or not happen), because I’ve read this book way too much. Nobody can get into the Common Room, as the Portrait’s closed. Percy pushes through, saying that he’s the Head Boy. Oh, Percy.
Percy goes silent, and everyone else does as well. Percy asks for someone to get Professor Dumbledore, and a moment later he shows up. That was fast. Maybe he really is a Bumblebee animagu.
The Gryffindors gather a little closer together, and now they can see the problem: The portrait has been slashed, because nobody pisses Sirius off and gets out happily.
Strips of canvas are on the floor, and chunks have been torn completely. Dumbledore tells McGonagall (… who appeared out of nowhere, I guess?) to get Filch and search for every painting to see if the Fat Lady is there.
Peeves said they’ll be lucky, because she doesn’t want to be seen and was crying. Peeves is very happy about this. Dumbledore asks who would do such a thing, and JKR draws a lampshade to end all lampshades (or pun to end all puns, either way):
“’Oh, yes, Professorhead,’said Peeves, with the air of cradling a large bombshell in his arms.”
Get it? Because there’s about to be a bombshell?! And the bombshell is, “nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.”
FFP: But was he in leather?
Me: *Facepalm*
Next up: The Fat Lady won't talk, much less sing, so it's sure as hell not over.
Chapters 1-2
Chapters 3-4
Chapters 5-6
Chapter Seven: The Boggart in the Wardrobe
Draco doesn’t show up until they’re halfway through Potions, and it’s a mark of Snape’s favoritism that he gets away with it. I think Snape would normally give you detention for being late, and if you pointed out that you were in the Hospital Wing, you’d get two detentions.
Pansy asks her sort-of boyfriend if it hurts; instead of pretending to be a macho man, Draco plays wounded ferret. Okay. Well, it does work for the impending trial…
Ron is forced to help Draco cut up daisy roots because Draco’s arm hurts. Ron chops them up angrily, and Snape makes him switch roots with Draco. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am with him on that one. JUST that one. But it sucks if you’re the narrator’s best friend. Draco gets Snape to make Harry skin his shrivelfig... there's a Harry/Draco joke in there somewhere.
This is obviously just so Draco can taunt them in peace, which he does, saying Hagrid’s bound to be fired. He then asks if his arm will ever function the same way again. Harry says Draco’s just doing it to get Hagrid fired, as though this is a revelation. Draco says that’s partly it, but there’s other benefits, such as having your sort-of girlfriend sobbing over your arm.
Neville is, of course, having trouble with his potion; Snape asks Neville why he’s such an idiot, and says that Trevor will be fed the potion at the end of class, and they will “see what happens.”
… Holy shit, Snape. I don’t care if your father was a drunken asshole and the girl you had feelings for died married to a man you hated, that’s low. Not that I didn’t remember this scene, I did, but it’s pretty disgusting even having read it a few times now. Though it’s possible this was an empty threat and nothing too harmful or irreversible would have happened.
Hermione offers to help Neville in secret, and in the meantime Seamus says a muggle spotted Sirius, but that by the time the MoM got there he’d vanished. I want to read that fanfic.
Ron doesn’t like the sounds of this, but Draco sure does. He asks if Harry’s trying to capture Sirius, and says if it were him, he’d be out there looking for Sirius. (Which makes me wonder - how much do the Malfoys really know? Did Narcissa always know Sirius was innocent? Or was that just icing on the cake when Voldie/Peter returned?) When Harry is oblivious, Draco realizes he doesn’t know, but continues to taunt him anyway. Harry asks what Draco’s talking about, but Snape interrupts to “warn” them that there’s only a minute before it’s time to test Neville’s potion on Trevor.
Harry asks Ron what he thinks Snape meant, and Ron assures Harry that Draco’s just trying to make him do something stupid.
They gather around to watch Snape feed Trevor, the Gryffindors looking fearful and the Slytherins excited. Trevor turns into a tadpole; Snape looks disappointed and pours enough drops on Trevor for him to reappear full grown. He takes five points from Gryffindor because he knows Hermione helped Neville cheat.
Ron seethes all the way back to the entrance hall, and asks Hermione why she just didn’t lie. That’s when they realize she’s not there. They realize she’s panting and running up the stairs. Ron asks how she’s doing that, and Hermione makes up a story about having to go back for something. Ron notices all of Hermione’s books, and points out that she doesn’t need them. After Hermione runs off, he asks Harry if he thinks she’s hiding something.
Remus enters the Defense Against the Dark Arts class after everyone’s arrived. Remus is still shabby but looks healthier, as though he’s eaten a bit more. He tells everyone they’ll only need their wands, and leads them out of the room.
Peeves has put gum in the keyhole of the staff room, and starts singing at Remus, calling him “Loopy loopy Lupin.” Everyone’s shocked that he’d be rude to a teacher, and are even more shocked that Remus just smiles back. Remus politely asks Peeves to remove the gum, but Peeves won’t, so Remus points his wand at Peeves, shouts “Waddiwasi,” and the gum goes down Peeves’s nose. Apparently Remus is still his Maraudering self.
Everyone is impressed, but it only lasts for a minute: Snape is in the room, and you know, I almost think Snape knew just where Remus was headed and suggested Peeves did it. Except I can’t see Snape having enough sense of humor. Anyhow, Snape is sitting in an armchair, and tells Remus to leave the door open because he’d “rather not witness this.” Snape gets up ad leaves, but not before telling Remus that Neville can’t do anything difficult unless Hermione’s helping him.
Because Remus is awesome, he calmly says that he’d been hoping Neville would help get them started, and that “I am sure he will perform it admirably.”
The wardrobe wobbles, and Remus assures everyone that it’s “just” a boggart. Remus explains that boggarts like dark, cold places, and he’d asked Dumbledore to leave this particular boggart in the wardrobe so his third year students could do it. Remus then asks if anyone knows what a boggart is, and to no one’s surprise, Hermione explains: it’s a shape shifted that takes the form of a person, thing or situation that will scare the shit out of you. Except not in those words.
Remus asks Harry if he knows what their advantage is, and Harry has a hard time thinking of an answer because Hermione is almost literally jumping up and down with her hand raised. Oh, Hermione. Harry reasons that there’s so many of them, it won’t know what shape it should be.
FFP: This is so sad.
Me: Why?
FFP: Hearing Harry’s voice must have been like hearing James’s voice.
Me: … right.
Remus says that what really scares a boggart off is laughter, and that to make yourself laugh, you have to turn it into something funny. The magic word is “Riddikkulus!” Yay, more fake, pun!Latin. If a little brilliant. A little.
Remus calls on Neville, who is only slightly terrified. Remus asks who scares Neville the most, and Neville says it’s Snape. I can’t imagine why. Remus asks what kind of clothes his grandmother wears; apparently, something straight out of the 1890’s. (I think. My steampunk friends may yell at me.) She wears a tall had with a vulture on top, a long dress, and sometimes a fox fur scarf. Everyone laughs at the idea of crossdressing sSnape, and the Boggart wobbles.
Remus tells everyone to think of what scares them the most, then make it comical. Harry’s first thought is a Voldemort returned to full strength, but what really brings him fear is the thought of a Dementor. He actually feels as though a Dementor is in the room. Harry shivers and hopes nobody noticed, but everyone else is a little freaked out, too.
Remus asks if everyone is ready, and Harry has no idea how to make a Dementor less frightening, but they’re already starting so it’s too late for him.
Neville looks pale, but still turns Snape into his grandmother. A snake in bitchy old lady’s clothing. Parvati goes up and beheads a mummy; Seamus renders a banshee voiceless (hey, Irish folklore! /Irishpride); the Boggart gets confused (according to Remus) and goes from being a rat to a rattlesnake; Dean traps a severed hand into a mouse trap; Ron takes a spider’s legs off; then it’s Harry’s turn – or was.
Before Harry can do anything, Remus hurries forward. The Boggart turns into “an orb”, or as we’ll find out later, the Full Moon.
Aside: Given how different fans felt Remus was when comparing him in the earlier books to the later ones, I was curious as to whether or not we’d see a bit of the Remus we see in the last two books here. I find it interesting that just in this chapter, Remus has exposed his greatest vulnerability in order to protect someone he cares about. He can’t escape it, no matter how hard he may try, and the werewolf inside tends to surface at the most crucial times.
Neville has to face Boggart!Snape again, and this time he does it a little more bravely. (Another aside: This is solid yet subtle foreshadowing for Neville’s character development.) Remus gives five points to everyone except Neville, who gets ten because he’s awesome. Officially, because he did it twice. Harry points out that he didn’t do anything, and Remus says that he and Hermione get points for answering questions correctly. Remus tells everyone what their homework is, and they leave. Harry is worried Remus thinks he’s weak.
Ron says that this is the best class they’ve ever had; Hermione agrees, but says she wished she’d had a turn. Ron ribs that her fear would’ve been a piece of homework that only got a 9/10.
Chapter Eight: Flight of the Fat Lady
(Wow, we’re there already? I forgot how fast the early books move. If this were book seven, Harry would have just gotten on The Knight Bus.)
FFP: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE SIRIUS IS IN IT AND POSSIBLY WEARING LEATHER.
Me: … I’m pretty sure the leather part was a fanfic. Also, he's technically not really in it.
FFP: Darn.
We find out that in the time that has passed, DADA is almost everyone’s favorite class, except Draco’s because Draco is a whiny little ferret. Potions, however, is less pleasant because he’s angry about Remus turning him into a Boggart and is being worse to Neville than ever. Trelawney still looks at Harry with misty eyes, but has become Lavender and Parvati’s idol, as they apparently now eat lunch with her. God, what has she told them? That they’re going to become famous? Not even the trio like Hagrid’s class. Maybe this is where students not liking Hagrid began – as I said earlier, it seemed to me that he became something of a joke to everyone, not just Draco, with the exception of the trio.
So apparently this is a Quidditch Chapter. I’m not the biggest fan of Quidditch chapters because I’m not a sports person, but I’ll play along. We’re given what feels like a short Wikipedia “stub” on what Quidditch entails and what everyone player’s position is.
Oliver Wood, the Captain, is urging them to win because it’s their last chance, and more importantly, his as it’s his last year. He tells them that while they sucked more than ever the previous year, the Chasers are superb, the Beaters are unbeatable, and the Seeker is above average. Oliver delivers the last bit (not in those words) with a prideful look at Harry. It kind of makes me wish we’d seen him in one of the last two books. Fred and George tell Oliver they think he’s “very good, too.” If this was a Success Story movie, there’d be inspirational music right about now.
And with that, more time passes. With all due respect to JK Rowling, her transitions are awkward in this book.
One night after training, Harry comes back to see all of the Gryffindors flitting with excitement. The first Hogsmeade weekend – the weekend of Halloween – is here.
Harry is sad because he never got his permission slip signed, and Hermione tells him that once they find Sirius, he’ll be off the hook. Except the slip still won’t be signed, but okay. Ron suggests that Harry ask McGonagall if he can go now, an idea Hermione hates, so Ron pushes it more. For once, Harry decides something before Ron and Hermione argue the point to a pulp, and agrees to talk to her.
At that moment, Crookshanks jumps onto Hermione’s lap with a dead spider. Ew. Ron asks if Crookshanks has to eat it in front of them, and even as a cat owner – maybe especially as a cat owner - I’m with him on that one. If I’m with my cat and she starts doing something gross, I don’t just sit there and watch.
The trio start to do their homework when Crookshanks pounces on Ron’s bag. Ron can’t get Crookshanks away from it, and Hermione screams at Ron not to hurt him. Ron whirls the bag (and, by association, Crookshanks) around, and Scabbers -
FFP: PETER!
Me: - flies out. Crookshanks chases Scabbers, and Ron screams, “catch that cat!” I’ve never seen a more original line. Oh well.
Ron and Hermione get into an argument; Ron thinks there’s something wrong with Crookshanks and that Crookshanks has scared Scabbers to near death, but Hermione thinks Ron’s overreacting. So does everyone else, apparently, as they giggle at him helpfully.
Ron and Hermione are barely speaking the next day, because what’s UST without the T? After Herbology they bump into Lavender, who is crying. Oh, this scene… I’m already cringing.
We find out that Lavender’s crying because she got a letter from home saying that her rabbit, Blinky, was killed by a fox. Lavender says she really ought to have known, because Trelawney told her the thing she dreaded the most would happen on the sixteenth of October.
Hermione hesitates, and then asks if Lavender was dreading Blinky being killed by a fox specifically. Of course the answer’s no, so Hermione asks if Blinky was old; nope,
“he was a baby.” Our tactful Hermione asks how, then, Lavender could have dreaded him dying, and goes on to say that he probably didn’t really even die that day. All the while, Lavender is sobbing. FFS, Hermione. At least she didn't point out that Blinky was technically a bunny, not a baby.
Aside: That whole scene does make me wonder why Hermione was so often portrayed as, well, sweet - when really, she wasn't sweet at all. She had her moments, but mostly, there were reasons Ron and Harry hated her at first. (Naturally it's exactly why I love her character. But I wouldn't want to know her IRL.)
Ron tells Lavender not to worry about it, that Hermione just doesn’t care about people’s pets. Ron, this isn’t about you. They don’t talk at all during Transfiguration. Shocker.
McGonagall asks everyone for their permission slips; Neville says he thinks he lost his, and McGonagall tells him his grandmother mailed it to McGonagall personally because “she seemed to think it was safer.” Probably true. Harry goes to McGonagall’s desk, and says his aunt and uncle “forgot” to sign his form.
McGonagall avoids looking at Harry as she shuffles papers on her desk, and tells him no, not without a form. Harry protests, but McGonagall refuses; when she looks at him, Harry thinks it might be with pity.
Dean offers to forge Uncle Vernon’s signature, but Harry points out it’s too late for that. Ron suggests the Invisibility Cloak, but Hermione reminds them that Dementors can see through them. Percy tries to be helpful by pointing out that apart from sweetshops, joke shops, and the Shrieking Shack, Harry’s really not missing a thing. Oh, Percy.
Breakfast the morning of Halloween is depressing, to say the least. He walks his friends to the entrance hall, gets made fun of by Draco, and when he goes to the Common Room he’s greeted by Colin Creevey, who invites Harry to sit with his friends. Colin has friends?
Harry leaves the Common Room, gets yelled at by Filch for existing, keeps walking and hears someone calling his name: “Harry?”
Remus is peering from his office door, and asks Harry what he’s doing in a far more pleasant voice than Filch. Remus asks where Ron and Hermione are, and I love that the trio are so close other characters are surprised when they’re not together. Upon realizing Harry got left behind, Remus invites him to look at the grindylow he just obtained for their next lesson. A grindyow, we learn, is a water demon. Huh, I hadn’t remembered demons being in the HP ‘verse, though they’re not exactly Joss Whedon demons.
Remus offers Harry tea, and makes a joke about tea leaves. Harry is confused because Teachers Never Talk. (They live in their classrooms, didn’t you know? Although I guess at Hogwarts, they… almost kind of do.) Remus asks Harry if he’s worried, and being the Gryffindor he is, Harry… half lies and says no. Harry then considers telling Remus about the black dog he’d seen at Magnolia Cresent, but thinks better of it.
FFP: NO OMG HARRY NO NO TELL HIM! GO BACK AND TELL HIM! FLAILS!
Me: … easy. It’s a book.
FFP: Never say it's just a book again. Ever. EVER!
I have to wonder how things would have turned out had Harry told Remus that he'd seen Sirius (or rather, "a large black dog that was staring at me intently.") Would Remus have told Dumbledore? Would Remus have wondered why he didn’t hurt Harry and start questioning the whole picture? I’m sure there’s a fanfic that ponders this very question out there somewhere.
Remus can see something’s bothering Harry; Harry denies it at first, then admits that he still doesn’t understand why Remus wouldn’t let Harry fight the boggart. Remus had assumed Harry would know, because why wouldn’t a thirteen year old boy be bothered by the fact that their teacher did something for them?
Harry tells Remus that he actually thinks it would have turned into a Dementor, which Remus calls wise because it suggests Harry’s greatest fear is fear. Interesting…
Remus finds this amusing, but it doesn’t last long as Snape comes into the room carrying a goblet – as we’ll find out later on, Wolfsbane. He snarks at Remus (shock) and leaves; Harry tries dropping hints to Remus that Snape might have poisoned it (nice to see Harry has such a high opinion of Snape), but Remus just puts it down and says it’s disgusting. He tells Harry he has more work to do, so Harry goes off.
When Ron and Hermione come back, they are armed with sweets and stories for Harry. Harry tells them that Remus accepted a goblet from Snape, and everyone is horrified. Yet again we have the theme of misinterpretation and presumed guilt – we’ll later find out that Snape was actually technically helping Remus, but right now, he looks like he might have been trying to kill him. While seeing him as capable of murder seems a little far-fetched to me, he did threaten to kill Trevor, and they say killing animals is usually where killers start. So there’s that, if it’s even true. I’m sure there’s an article on cracked.com.
Remus looks quite happy at the Feast, but Snape’s eyes keep flickering to Remus. A million shippers started shipping.
FFP: Nah, it’s Sirius who’s checking Remus out. From the bushes.
Me: … moving on.
The ghosts put on a show, which I find a little… odd. If I were a ghost, I’m not sure I’d want a bunch of teenagers and preteens gasping in delight as I flew through walls. Let me rest in peace, damn it. I’m sure the Bloody Baron, at least, is not a participant. Nearly Headless Nick does a reenactment of his botched beheading, which I wish we’d seen at least some of. (This made me think of Monty Python, then I remembered John Cleese played Nearly Headless Nick. The third HP movie should’ve put that scene in, could you imagine? It would be the most epic crossover ever.)
As they leave, Draco shouts another Dementor joke, but Harry’s too happy to care. They head towards the Common Room, but even without turning the page I know exactly what’s going to happen (or not happen), because I’ve read this book way too much. Nobody can get into the Common Room, as the Portrait’s closed. Percy pushes through, saying that he’s the Head Boy. Oh, Percy.
Percy goes silent, and everyone else does as well. Percy asks for someone to get Professor Dumbledore, and a moment later he shows up. That was fast. Maybe he really is a Bumblebee animagu.
The Gryffindors gather a little closer together, and now they can see the problem: The portrait has been slashed, because nobody pisses Sirius off and gets out happily.
Strips of canvas are on the floor, and chunks have been torn completely. Dumbledore tells McGonagall (… who appeared out of nowhere, I guess?) to get Filch and search for every painting to see if the Fat Lady is there.
Peeves said they’ll be lucky, because she doesn’t want to be seen and was crying. Peeves is very happy about this. Dumbledore asks who would do such a thing, and JKR draws a lampshade to end all lampshades (or pun to end all puns, either way):
“’Oh, yes, Professorhead,’said Peeves, with the air of cradling a large bombshell in his arms.”
Get it? Because there’s about to be a bombshell?! And the bombshell is, “nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.”
FFP: But was he in leather?
Me: *Facepalm*
Next up: The Fat Lady won't talk, much less sing, so it's sure as hell not over.
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Date: 2013-10-16 09:19 pm (UTC)Oh, it was absolutely systematically abuse, and I had a teacher who was verbally abusive too, if not to this degree. (I hope that wasn't the case with you.) It also likely contributed to Neville's problems, hence why he was scared of him.
I never thought that was why Snape hated Harry, even when others said it, but it made sense when JKR wrote it, though I would have introduced it earlier than she did.
Love your icon, btw.