Writer's Block: Single pride day

[author_by_night]

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If my life were a soap opera...

I will finally strike up the courage to ask the hot neighbor out on a date. And then, as I put on a cute dress (despite it being February and freezing out there), the doorbell rings. It's my old boyfriend, John, who woke up from his five year coma, jumped in the car, and drove over. I don't know how to tell him that I've fallen in love with someone else, so I tell him to meet me at the restaurant, and spend the night going from place to place until the hotties figure out what's going on. When they do, for some reason, they start dueling with dinner knives.

But my life is more of a romantic comedy...

I will sit on my couch, crying about how I'm morbidly overweight (or rather, the Hollywood version of morbidly overweight), ugly (or rather, the Hollywood version of ugly), and how nobody LOVES me except my cat. Who I'm allergic to and have to give away! :'( And then a guy named after a Jane Austen character knocks on my door and literally sweeps me off my feet.

Or maybe it's a sitcom...

My new date gets sick with Canned Laugh Disease; no matter what anyone says or does, he can't stop laughing.

Or perhaps it's a vampire romance...

I find out that I'm in love with a vampire, but for some reason this doesn't bother me. Until things turn angsty.

Or a Joss Whedon romance...

My boyfriend starts to propose when he is suddenly sucked into a hell dimension. Or the above happens. ^

Better yet, a country song...

I steal his horse and his car and head back home.

And we all know what a country song backwards is...

I come back with the car and the horse.

Comments

[ahigheroctave.livejournal.com]

XD Go for the Joss Whedon version. That way you get the car the horse AND his house.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[maureen.livejournal.com]

I laughed aloud when I got to the Joss Whedon part. I was talking with friends yesterday about how he messes with happy couples. Too cute!

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, I was talking with a classmate yesterday about that too. It's to the point that when I saw Dollhouse, That Death didn't surprise me. (I'm keeping things spoiler free. PM me if you want to further discuss that point.) It kind of sucks, actually, because it makes everything so predictable. It's why I'm kind of glad Firefly got canceled - Simon or Kaylee would've been killed off or ended up hating each other. Which sucks.

[maureen.livejournal.com]

I know the death you mean in DH, and shockingly I was surprised. But yes, you are totally right about his pattern.

I know Joss would have messed with Simon and Kaylee. He once said Jayne was going to get in the middle and make it a whole triangle thing. Which would've been fine by me as I hated Kaylee and Simon.

I digress, however. Yes... yes Joss does that to us. Which is why we both love and hate him.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

He once said Jayne was going to get in the middle and make it a whole triangle thing.

O_o Really? I can actually see Wash/Kaylee (provided Zoe had been killed off or something), but while I always thought Jayne had a bit of a crush on Kaylee, I never thought he'd want to be in a real relationship with someone, much less her.

Why did you hate Simon and Kaylee, though? I loved them! Although I did feel that the tension sometimes came across as forced.

[linda-lupos.livejournal.com]

A Jayne/Simon/Kaylee triangle? O_o Huh? How the hell does THAT work?

Unless Jayne's secretly gay and in love with Simon, that would be epic. Or Simon secretly bi and in love with Jayne. (Would he have as much trouble talking to guys as he has talking to girls?)

I seriously can't see Jayne doing anything for Simon or Kaylee!

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Unless Jayne's secretly gay and in love with Simon,

Aha! So he doesn't hate Simon, it's just sexual tension!

"Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Also, I didn't make out with Jayne - DID I JUST SAY THAT?"

[linda-lupos.livejournal.com]

Secrety Simon is into trained apes - without the training!

[vegablack62.livejournal.com]

I loved this!

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks!

[linda-lupos.livejournal.com]

This was great! :D Submit it to your writer group!

Haha I loved the soap opera bit. Five year coma, oh yes...

Hey if the Jane Austen-named character is called Edward it can double as the vampire romance. ;)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Pffft. :P

[secondmezzanine.livejournal.com]

Tee hee! Awesome.