What the flying...?

[author_by_night]

Disabled show host causes controversy

In one chat room, a father lamented that Burnell being on the show forced him to have conversations with his child about disabilities.

Um... so what?

Now, I realize the show is meant for little kids, but.... I just think that the fact that parents are implying that a TV show host shouldn't be a host because of a disability shows that society still has a lot to learn.

Why is it bad to teach your kids that there's different people out there? If you expose them to it early, they'll learn there's nothing to be afraid of.

And you know what? When I read the headline, I looked at the picture before reading article, and it took me a while before I even noticed she only had one arm. I did notice her pretty smile right away, though.

I read the comments, and here's what one says:

Do any of you who think this is so "unbelievable" actually have kids? It's very hard, as a parent, to have every social issue jammed down the throat of your kids before they even hit first grade.

I'm no parent, but I'd rather my kids be exposed early on, when they're young enough to matter-of-factly accept that everyone is different, than when they have a disabled classmate and I find out they've made fun of him because I never taught my kid that it's okay to be different.

Comments

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

I'm no parent, but I'd rather my kids be exposed early on, when they're young enough to matter-of-factly accept that everyone is different, than when they have a disabled classmate and I find out they've made fun of him because I never taught my kid that it's okay to be different.

And that's why you'll be a better parent than that twat.

I grew up with a few friends with disabilities, they'd always been like that, I'd always known them, it was a complete non-issue.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean... I had friends with disabilities too. And sure, I'd ask my Mom "why do they do this" or "why do they look like that" - one time I actually asked a girl with yellow skin why she was yellow. :/ (It just slipped out of my mouth and I was humiliated at my rudeness even then, but the girl just politely explained that she had health problems and that was good enough for me.)

Similarly, kids have asked why I have hearing aids. I explain that I have bad hearing... they go "oh okay", and go on with their day. Kids are far more accepting than we realize, because to them, everything's just one more thing they didn't know.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

because to them, everything's just one more thing they didn't know.
That's it in a nutshell. Whereas some adults are only too happy to bring their own prejudices out and lay them over their children ...

[rhiannonmr.livejournal.com]

I saw that article. I was flabbergasted that it was even an issue.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I mean, okay, if this woman had a mental problem and beat up her co-host onscreen every other episode and threatened to kill him, okay, I can see why a parent would be worried. But a missing limb is just that - a missing limb, totally harmless and every easy to explain.

[acusa-dora.livejournal.com]

I hear undertones of something else in that comment. I hear someone who resents "social issues." I hear someone who is intolerant and frustrated because whether it's real or not, they are feeling the pressure of political correctness. (you hear people whine about political correctness all the time, don't you?) Of course it's good for kids to be exposed to all kinds of people with whatever challenges those people face. That's just life. I think you're totally right.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I hear undertones of something else in that comment. I hear someone who resents "social issues." I hear someone who is intolerant and frustrated because whether it's real or not, they are feeling the pressure of political correctness.

Heh, I didn't want to say that, but yes. Makes me think of people who say really offensive things and then complain that the political correctedness makes it so hard to get away with it.

Granted, I've complained about people trying to be PC myself, but only in cases where the attempt to be politically correct was actually more offensive than what was said to be offensive in the first place. I think there's a difference between thinking bias against a disabled young woman is offensive (it IS offensive) and thinking Santa saying "Ho Ho Ho" is offensive (that isn't offensive in the least!)

[magikcat112.livejournal.com]

This is interesting. Like you, when I saw the article, it took me a while to figure out what kind of disability she had.

I'm not a parent either, but I think it's good to have people who are different on a children show. I remember growing up watching "Sesame Street" and one kid on the show I remember in particular was in a wheel chair. They talked about it a couple of times, but I wasn't psychologically damaged.

I think in a way, some parents try to protect their kids TOO much (I know, it seems like an oxymoron). We keep them in a box and shield every hardship and boo-boo from them and then wonder why they're unhappy.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[blpurdom.livejournal.com]

I'm simply boggled by the idea that we have to present kids with a world of perfect, flawless, normative people because to confront them with anything else would scar them. What if your next-door neighbor came back from Iraq without his left lower leg? What if Grandma's diabetes meant that she went blind? What if the family dog got hit by a car and had to drag his hind quarters around on a little wheeled platform? Would these parents ask the neighbor to move out of their house, stop letting Grandma visit and send the dog to a shelter? Isn't all of that MORE likely to scar the kid, plus producing the expectation that he/she has to remain utterly ordinary and completely perfect to be permitted in his/her parents' lives? God, some people are just too stupid to be believed.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

That's what I wonder!

[vegablack62.livejournal.com]

What is most horrifying about this is that the feelings are so prevalent the parent felt it was ok to say she didn't want her kid to see another person. Get that. My kid should be protected from the sight of this person. Should this woman go to the store or hide in a room so small children aren't fightened? Should she carry a bell that said "unclean", "unclean" so people could usher small children away.

This thinking is pravalent and it often comes from a feeling that my child is more important than anyother child or person. I don't want my child to ever experience sadness or pain or fear so I will go so far as to isolate others to achieve that end.

Two years ago my niece was in preschool with a child whose father was dying of cancer. The family was very stressed and needed families from the school to take the child home after school for a few hours to play with the other children from the preschool. This allowed the child a break from the situation and the parents some time to visit the father in the hospital alone.

Very few families were willing to do this. (I ended up taking her almost every day which was fine, but the reason made me angry.) They were afraid that she would mention her father's death and they didn't want their child to know that a parent could die. They were afraid it would scare them. Perhaps they feared the idea themselves. The result of giving in to their fears was social isolation for a grieving child. Cruelty created by the attitude that imagined happiness for my child must come before all other children.

This attitude creates social isolation for the disabled which is worse than the disability and it makes me mad.

[vegablack62.livejournal.com]

I want to discuss this on my LJ. Do you mind if I do? Do you mind if I link to your post?

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

You can link it, sure! :)

[vegablack62.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[katieay.livejournal.com]

I actually think this closeting away of anything "different" is partly why our generation (ie the ones now having kids) is so completely screwed up. Kids do not care, and how are we to teach them to be empathic, compassionate, WHOLE people if they are not "confronted" with something that is a serious issue for many, many people. How are they to help the old woman in the wheel chair get up the hill if they are taught through osmosis that anyone in a wheelchair is different and therefore to be closeted away and therefore inherently something bad.

How are they meant to stand up to the bully of the child with hearing aids, if they are not taught that it's perfectly okay to have this disability and that anyone who lives a solid, fulfilled, daily life DESPITE THEIR DISABILITY makes them not somone to be shunned and closeted, but someone to admire and look up to.

The whole fact that is even an issue sickens me. This woman, who is beautiful, leads a fulfilled life and was probably thrilled to have the job at the BBC should be lauded, not shunned. Any parent who thinks they shouldn't have to explain any hard things to their children is lazy. Any parent who thinks their child isn't confronted with hard-to-deal with things every day from birth onwards (yeap, from birth. "Hard" is all relative) is stupid.

[ex-jo-blogs.livejournal.com]

I think the controversy can be viewed positively - the outraged reaction that most people have had to these few complaints, and the way this has been covered in the news shows that the discourse about disabled people has shifted (however slightly) towards greater recognition that they are routinely discriminated against and subjected to intolerance. At least the people who ridiculously objected to Burnell's appointment aren't getting to set the agenda here but having their views challenged.

[sixth-light.livejournal.com]

Do any of you who think this is so "unbelievable" actually have kids? It's very hard, as a parent, to have every social issue jammed down the throat of your kids before they even hit first grade.

Yes, how dare small children be exposed to the idea that not everyone is white, heterosexual, middle-class, abled, and nuclear-family-dwelling? They might get the idea that being otherwise is *normal*!

...I mean, whaaaaaaat?

[starpaint.livejournal.com]

...GAAAAH.

So I worked at a summer camp for the past two summers, and one of the best counselors there was a hearing-impaired man (also a dancer, so score one for gender discrimination, too). A lot of the groups (mostly girls groups, oddly enough) ended up having prolonged discussions about people and their differences and how they need to be respected--why? Because some of the kids kept picking on this guy, because they didn't know how to react to his impairment. (Note that a lot of these groups included kids with learning disabilities and the like, even if the rest of the people in their group didn't know. Bet they were the subject of teasing for similar reasons, too.)

And it's just. No one deserves to be the subject of mockery just because they got the short straw as far as genetics are concerned. As a parent, if you're letting your children go out into the world and make other people's lives miserable because you don't want to have a tough conversation? You are failing your child.

[tdu000.livejournal.com]

What an odd attitude. As a parent, I think that having a disabled presenter would be a wonderful opportunity to talk to my child. The probelm isn't having to explain disability to a child, it's how to explain it when they don't know anyone who has one. Kids need concrete examples, they can't think hypothetically until they are about 11.

Here we have a preschool program that has a short segment each day in which a film of something happening in the community is shown. One such film showed a small girl being taken to a park by her two mothers. This raised a furore of angry criticism, including a mention in parliament, about the PC brigade thrusting homosexuality in the faces of small children. One mother wrote to a newspaper saying that she had recorded the program so watched it with her young children to check their reaction. After watching the film she asked them what they thought and all she got was "What a great park! Why haven't you taken us there?" They didn't bat an eyelid at the idea of two mothers. The really ridiculous thing about the whole incident, was that this was a repeated showing of the program. It's one of the highest rating preschool programs in the country and it was just one angry response on the second showing that caused all the uproar.

[lyras.livejournal.com]

The more diversity to which children are exposed at a young age the better, as far as I'm concerned.

One of the more amusing aspects of my boyfriend wandering around on crutches (and in plaster) for the past couple of months has been the reactions of little kids. The majority of them can't take their eyes off him, and they're not sophisticated enough to hide their fascination - they just stand and stare until he's past.

Of course, it's only amusing because the crutches are temporary. I imagine we'd feel very different if he was on crutches for life and constantly treated like some kind of curiosity.

[scionofgrace.livejournal.com]

Holy cow. Is it so hard to tell a kid, "Some people are born with different bodies"? The whole point of being a parent is to teach your kids how to live well in the world, and part of that is always going to include things like this.

And do the complainers not know anyone who's disabled? I can think of four off the top of my head that I know from church, and one of them I've known most of my life.

And what in the name of holy heaven does it matter whether this woman has all her limbs? Why is that a requirement for hosting a TV show?

Good grief, I could rant all day on this one...

[doriscrockford2.livejournal.com]

I read this post and was horrified that someone would have the nerve to complain about having to explain something to his child. I will try to be calm and explain why (good luck to me):

1. If you feel any conversation you have with your child has been 'forced on you' you should not have had children.

2. He seems to feel that a person with a disability is something that shouldn't be talked about.

3. He seems to think his child is only going to meet people like Daddy and explaining the world is a complex place is a bad thing. It also makes me wonder what these super-sheltered kids are going to do when they leave mummy and daddy's orbit and discover that people dress differently, speak other languages, etc.

Grr. I will stop now because none of you want to hear me rant. :)

[princessdot.livejournal.com]

I started pre school with a girl with only one hand and didn't really realize she had only one hand [socially] until high school when others made a big deal out of it. To me she was just; neighbor from around the corner, fellow aggie, annoying friend with issues... I'd want to expose my kid to as many differences early, then tell her that's life baby cakes.