For those of you who are parents, teachers, or just know about kids...

[author_by_night]

I'm writing an AU fic where Remus has to raise his kid sister, because his parents are murdered by DE's. However, how does one tell an eight year old her parents are dead? (And in this case, there's no way to prepare her - she was there during the attack, she'd hidden and the DE's didn't know her parents had a child - so Remus finds her in the attic).

I don't know how he's supposed to tell her gently... or how she should react. Would eight even be old enough to understand?

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Comments

[ashtur.livejournal.com]

It's a bit of an awkward age... kids don't fully understand death, though at that age, it's getting to the "margins" (more precocious kids will "get it").

She's likely either be numb, or terrified (if she was there)...and generally the "gentle way" is that they've "gone away" or are "asleep"... though Remus is a "straight shooter" for things like that, and would most likely be straight, but gentle with it.

[talimeeka.livejournal.com]

I think an eight year old will understand the situation fairly well but she'll probably ask herself why they had to die if you know what I mean. I'm not quite sure how she'd react, but I'm sure a lot of tears will be involved. Remus would be very gentle about it, but I don't he'd lie to her in any way. It might be a nice touch if he was crying with her or holding back tears.

[feylin17.livejournal.com]

an 8 year old can understand what "dead" means. Especially if she was THERE. You just have to be calm and supportive and just say "The death eaters killed your parents." The child is old enough to go through any kind of greiving process- blaming themselves, shock. ect.

So yeah, I think that Remus would be especially gentle and kind but that he would just state the facts plainly.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks guys. :)

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, 8-year-olds can definitely understand the concept of dead and gone and never coming back. They don't need babytalk about it. They want information about it. Remus would be honest; if they were killed by, say, an Avada Kedavra curse, he should tell the child that it was quick and painless. And remember this: Remus understands pain and loss. He's well-qualified to break the news.

[iulia_linnea.livejournal.com]

I would think that he would be specific with the child without--if she wasn't present at the murder, of course--going into exactly how her parents died. And if you think it's appropriate to delve into the idea of going beyond "the Veil" to a better place, it might be interesting to have him tell her that, too. I've been in this situation (young child of a friend who lost her father, and I watched her a lot after he died), and her mother had told her, "Daddy was very sick, but now he's in Heaven, happy and healthy again and waiting for us when it's our time." I reinforced that for her--the fact that her father was in a better place, because her memories of him were of him being in horrible pain (cancer). Well, that's my two cents, anyway.