Writer's Block: Significant Choices
Jun. 7th, 2009 10:17 am[Error: unknown template qotd] That's a really difficult question! It would depend entirely on so many factors - the situation, the people involved, the actual choice involved, etc.
I do find it annoying when girls and women willingly sacrifice their friendships for men. Here's an example - a relative and I will be discussing how she had a certain friend most of her life. This friend was with her thick and thin through everything.
This is usually where the conversation goes:
Me: So... what happened to Mary Sue anyway?
Relative: Well, you know, I met Gary Stu, got married. :)
Wait, what? "I got married and moved 87 miles away" I can understand. "Raising five children makes you a little busy" I can understand. "I went to med school and barely had time to eat dinner with Gary Stu" I can understand. But "I met Gary Stu, got married" - really? I don't know, I can't imagine forsaking a friendship only because I found someone. Any significant other has to understand that as much as I love him, my friends are important too. They are a priority.
That said, on some level I think any significant other will come first. And honestly, my friends would have to understand that. I hope that I will one day find a guy who I can mix my friends with, or who I make friends through at the very least. I DO hold my friends nearer and dearer than a lot of people, but then, any guy worthy of my time would understand that. One thing that really bothers me about some books and movies and stuff is when characters will actively choose a guy over all their friends for no real reason.
On the other hand, some think that people should never choose their significant others... which I don't think is fair either. When you're truly in love with someone, there are times when they will - and should - come first.
ETA: So I guess the short answer is... both, depending on the circumstances.
I do find it annoying when girls and women willingly sacrifice their friendships for men. Here's an example - a relative and I will be discussing how she had a certain friend most of her life. This friend was with her thick and thin through everything.
This is usually where the conversation goes:
Me: So... what happened to Mary Sue anyway?
Relative: Well, you know, I met Gary Stu, got married. :)
Wait, what? "I got married and moved 87 miles away" I can understand. "Raising five children makes you a little busy" I can understand. "I went to med school and barely had time to eat dinner with Gary Stu" I can understand. But "I met Gary Stu, got married" - really? I don't know, I can't imagine forsaking a friendship only because I found someone. Any significant other has to understand that as much as I love him, my friends are important too. They are a priority.
That said, on some level I think any significant other will come first. And honestly, my friends would have to understand that. I hope that I will one day find a guy who I can mix my friends with, or who I make friends through at the very least. I DO hold my friends nearer and dearer than a lot of people, but then, any guy worthy of my time would understand that. One thing that really bothers me about some books and movies and stuff is when characters will actively choose a guy over all their friends for no real reason.
On the other hand, some think that people should never choose their significant others... which I don't think is fair either. When you're truly in love with someone, there are times when they will - and should - come first.
ETA: So I guess the short answer is... both, depending on the circumstances.