Snowflake

[author_by_night]

Challenge #4: Rec Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!

I would like to defend two sites I think get a bad rap: Reddit and tumblr. (I say this as someone who rallied against tumblr for years.)

 

Don't get me wrong, the criticisms are not without merit. There are a lot of weirdo incels on Reddit, and a lot of the advice subs are pretty much, well...

Q: My aunt and I got into an argument over her rosebushes. What should I do?

A: Your aunt is a malignant narcissist. You should immediately cut all contact.

Yet sometimes, you'll get...

Q: AITA? My aunt started chasing me with hedge trimmers.

A: YTA. You're a malignant narcissist.

And of course, half the stories are probably fake. 

AITA for robbing a Build-a-Bear during an orphan's birthday party?

I mean. 

Tumblr has similar flavoring when it comes to people  having very disproportionate responses. There's a lot of "how dare you say we piss on the poor". Then there's weird fandom drama, and my sense is that I've only seen the milder weird fandom drama, so I can only imagine what the rest of it is like.

That said, I've been Very Online for a very long time. Most spaces have things like what I mentioned above. Overreactions, gatekeeping, really bad advice, fandom drama. (fandom_wank existed for a reason.)

Moreover, I've found community for things that I'm interested in. I've seen people actually get a lot of support. Cliche though this advice is, you really do need to curate your experience. I stepped away from a fandom I felt was becoming too toxic. I stopped reading the relationship advice and AITA subreddits, although I do like BestofRedditorUpdates. 

And I like that where tumblr is concerned, it reminds me a lot of old school LJ. Probably because a large portion of the populace are former LJers. I mean sure, that's also why the drama can be beyond, but it's also very quirky and fun and SLIGHTLY CHAOTIC.

So yeah. Reddit and tumblr are definitely imperfect. Lots of pissing on the poor to be had. But curating my experience has helped a lot. 

Comments

[sarajayechan]

As someone who hangs out on both sites, I get what you mean. Reddit has an active Homestar Runner community, cute pet photos, and food. And Tumblr has cats and genuine fandom passion posts. It's a lot of crap to wade through to find the gold, but it's worth wading. (And blocking the crap as you go along, lol)

AITA is truly something, though. My parents actually read it sometimes if only to roll their eyes at the stories or the comments.

[author_by_night]

AITA is the closest I get to watching reality TV. (And it's the same level of "yeah, that happened" where you know so much of it is made up/scripted, or at least heavily embellished.)

I love the genuine fandom passion posts. They're not shy about it.

[crazy_yet_fun]

I need some spaces. I was on LJ in my thirties and am venturing back into journaling in my 50's. I like your post.

[author_by_night]

Thanks!

[whimsicalmeerkat]

I fell out of using reddit years ago, but I wholeheartedly agree with this defense of tumblr. Great post!

[toothpastepancake]

Absolutely agreed. I used to be MISERABLE on Tumblr because I was friends with so many "discoursers" that were mean, but then I got a bit older and realized it didn't have to be that way. The fannish communities on both sites have brought me so much joy and I'm grateful for them. I met my beloved and all my friends on Tumblr, and I've found immense support in many Reddit subs. Like sometimes it really is just blocking/muting people and following cool ones, building a sandcastle in your own little tiny corner of the playground.

[author_by_night]

Exactly!

[keplers_angels]

I don't actually use those sites at all but I do belong to a preposterous number of facebook groups (Hell, I even run one) and I really do enjoy the AITA posts. Things can get spicy in the comments though if someone disagrees with the dominant opinion.

[author_by_night]

Oh, so you hate Facebook now? <--- HEAVY SARCASM. But that's exactly what happens!

I also love all the people who'll be like "one of my neighbors leaves her house at 8:30 and comes home at 5:30 every single week day. Should I be concerned?"

[brightly_lit]

Lol at your description of Qs and As on Reddit -- accurate! But yeah, I do really enjoy Reddit. You just have to be selective and take everything with a heaping tablespoon of salt.

I looked at some of the responses to today's Snowflake Challenge question because I wasn't sure exactly what they were asking for and I ended up here, and now I think I'll write about Reddit, as well!

[tsuki_no_bara]

i love tumblr altho it's SUCH a time sink. but it's like any other online space - follow people who give you joy and block people who give you heartburn. and sometimes you just gotta disengage. (and then a corgi pic or a kitten video crosses your dash and you re-engage. :D ) my experience with reddit is extremely limited but i have to say r/crossstitch is full of really lovely, helpful, encouraging cross stitchers. it's such a positive subreddit. and when bridgerton s3 was on one of my friends kept sending me links to thirst trap subreddits so i could drool with her over luke newton. which was clearly positive for her. :D

[lightbird]

I'm still on Tumblr and I am not ashamed. There is still some great content, nice people, and it has the best events, like Ides of March, the April Fool's boop fest. I mean, that was great stuff.

[aggiebell90]

I haven't been on Tumblr for AGES, mostly because I haven't had anything fannish I'm particularly passionate about lately (although The Pitt could get me there, and I'm sure I could find something Bridgerton-y.) I just don't think about Tumblr for some reason.

Reddit is hit-or-miss, for sure, BUT! I found some solidarity with other Feds dealing with the whole *waves hands vaguely towards Washington DC* everything that's going on politically, especially with how Federal Employees have been treated in the past year, because that was some serious bullshit. It's super-encouraging (for me, at least) to see other people be determined to Hold the Line and stay true to our Oath of Office (Civilian Feds also swear an oath to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign or domestic).

[bedes]

The block button is your best friend on Tumblr. (That, and Dashboard Plus.)

[mekare]

Ahhh your icon!


>> it's also very quirky and fun and SLIGHTLY CHAOTIC.

Very true. I‘ve mostly had very good experiences on there, but then I‘m curating heavily which people and tags I follow. <3

[ragnarok_08]

I still use Tumblr, though I don't use it as often as I did, because all the fandom drama and such would make me bloody miserable, but I still like to use it.

[elizalavelle]

I do love a good Reddit story but also I know many of them are people making things up. Some things are just wild though and a good story is a good story.

I think the responses often do jump to "break up, go no contact, quit your job immediately" kind of non nuanced advice that I don't think is actually helpful.

That said, sometimes there's good advice that comes with looking for more information. "yes this fight with your partner does have some red flags, is this the first time they've said something like this?" I've seen people who come and post about one fight where my advice already feels like "don't be with someone who treats you like this" but when they get more gentle questions it comes out that there's been way worse behaviour they were hiding because they hadn't processed it yet.

[author_by_night]

Some things are just wild though and a good story is a good story.

Right? And I think it IS fun to think about what you'd do, similar situations, etc. It's like reading a real book or short story. You think about and maybe even discuss them afterwards.

I think the responses often do jump to "break up, go no contact, quit your job immediately" kind of non nuanced advice that I don't think is actually helpful.

Agreed. First, even if that advice is actually warranted, it's really not that simple a lot of the time. Second, yeah, the lack of nuance. Not to menion how dangerous some of the advice could be.

I've also seen advice go a long way! When it does its job, it delivers. It's great to see.

[stormkeeper_lovesall]

I like Reddit and Tumblr. Within my current fandom, Reddit is probably the most stable and "nice" place. The trolls are on X. (Ugh). Also in my current fandom, Tumblr is basically dead - but I always liked Tumblr in the past.

You summed it up best: curate your experience.