You're an annoying, stupid moron blah blah blah blah yack yack yack yack.... oops, sorry, bad day.

[author_by_night]

^

I really, really cannot stand cases like that.

At an LJ comm that will not be named, <strike>the one known for harboring LJ member's secrets</strike>, a moderator, yes, moderator, asked someone who posted "I suck at math" if they were ten.

I defended them, among others, and he got more and more insulting.

Then today, I saw "I'm sorry, bad day."

I accepted the apology, but I made it clear, I think, that I did not accept the excuse.

There are cases when yes, "bad day, sorry" fits. But spending hours berating people and making really awful comments just because you obviously
had better grades in math than them just doesn't. Especially as a moderator.

I'd also like to add this: It's not like people who aren't so good at subjects in school want to feel stupid. It's not like they're so dumb they don't even 
know they should be offended by stuff like that.

This is probably a sensitive subject. I mean, not just because I was basically the "ZOMG borderline retard ZOMG" in school, (heh, even though I was on the Honor 
Roll... and even if i had been retarded, that's still not right), but because now I work with kids who are struggling, and I see stuff like that all the time. Even yesterday, I saw that someone had written "loser" on her notebook.

You know what I did? I crossed the  word out, and wrote beneath it: Winner.

Even though the student no longer attends, and won't see it. I don't care;  It was erased, but you could still see it, and
it bothered me, because I remembered being like that. Feeling like a complete idiot.

And then I saw the mod's comments, and I was like, this guy is saying the sort of stuff that led the girl and I to feel this way at times. This sort of talk
is the only thing some kids ever hear. 

And you know, it's not just learning disabilities (or plain struggling in school) that I'm defensive of. I can't stand people being mean about any sort of
problem. When I see jokes about anorexics, I get annoyed. When I see jokes about AIDS victims,  I get annoyed. When I see jokes about depression,
I get annoyed. 

It's like people have no respect for anyone who is slightly different from them. Too smart, too stupid, too skinny, too fat...

In the end, is it going to matter how easily subjects in school came to you? Is it going to matter how thin or heavy you were? Is it going to matter what yourreligion was, what your sexual preferences were, what your ethnic background happened to be?

Maybe what truly matters is who we were in this lifetime. The good things we did, and the bad things. 

Not perfection. Because nobody is perfect, and anyone who claims they are obviously lack the confidence they say they have.


Eek... went very, very OT.

Back slightly on topic... I hate the "bad day" excuse when these sorts of things happen. That's just not going to do any good in the long run.

Comments

[the-jackalope.livejournal.com]

Yes just because you've had a bad day does not mean you have the right to ruin the bad day of others. Misery may love company, doesn't mean you should give it some. I wonder if the people who behave like that think the world revolves around them.

I will admit that in person when I'm having a bad day I can be snappish, but to say something downright cruel like that just because you are having a bad day is rather unconscionable.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I mean, yeah, I can be very snappish, but I don't use stuff like that against people. It's wrong - and, quite frankly, weak.

[ashavah]

And you know, it's not just learning disabilities (or plain struggling in school) that I'm defensive of. I can't stand people being mean about any sort of
problem. When I see jokes about anorexics, I get annoyed. When I see jokes about AIDS victims, I get annoyed. When I see jokes about depression,
I get annoyed.

It's like people have no respect for anyone who is slightly different from them. Too smart, too stupid, too skinny, too fat...

Word. Word, word, wordity word. As someone who was both too smart and too fat at school, I know what you mean. Intolerance really annoys me too. There are people on my floor at college who think joking about having AIDS is funny, who think joking about suicide is funny ... who make my jaw drop with their total idiocy and insensitivity to things. Those jokes about suicide don't sit well with someone who lost a mentor to suicide last year, let me tell you ...

JK

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I've never lost anyone to suicide as in they died, but I have seen friends drift away as depression takes them. It's awful, and not funny in the least. I still worry I'm going to hear something someday.

[ashavah]

Thank you for being compassionate anough to know how unfunny things like that are.

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

Urgh, I'm still very insecure about my poor math-skills. Comments like that don't help.

[stmargarets.livejournal.com]

I love that striking out loser and putting in winner! What a powerful gesture!

I agree about the bad day excuse - esp. when it's in writing and over a prolonged period. And going after someone's secret vulnerability - that has to be the lowest.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I love that striking out loser and putting in winner! What a powerful gesture!

Thanks.

Yeah, the fact that they went after the person's secret... it just bugged me. The whole point of the group is for people to say anything.

[victorialupin.livejournal.com]

You know what I did? I crossed the word out, and wrote beneath it: Winner

That was really sweet of you. :)

I also can't comprehend how someone could think that "sorry, bad day" would be a good excuse. I mean, I'll except something like that for one stupid post maybe, because it could have been a lapse in judgement, but if someone is constantly being mean, there's no excuse.

[tunxeh.livejournal.com]

I don't mind people admitting their faults. The problem is when people say "I suck at math" like they're proud of it, like everyone else around them should suck at math too and you're odd if you don't. Peer pressure to be stupid.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Oh, people should definitely encourage themselves and others to try. But I think the person was just being honest. And I mean, I suck at it too, and I try and be good humored about it. Realistically, I would love to understand it better!

[parsimonia.livejournal.com]

Maybe what truly matters is who we were in this lifetime. The good things we did, and the bad things.

Not perfection. Because nobody is perfect, and anyone who claims they are obviously lack the confidence they say they have.

word.

Later tonight when I have time, I want to make an icon that says: "loser winner" on it. =D

[talimeeka.livejournal.com]

If this is the community I'm thinking of, so many people there use it as a release, and to have someone make you feel worse about your problems...that's awful.

I hope they fire the mod.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Well, he did sort of apologize. Not that I think that's good enough, but you know how people are. And one of the other mods was really defensive of him.

I think he's one of the upper mods, so there may not be much anyone can do. General hierarchy.

[jamc91.livejournal.com]

Personally, I've never understood that excuse. I mean, if you have a bad day, it's not like it helps to rant over the Internet. If you have to yell at someone, yell at someone in real life. :P

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Yeah, at someone who deserves it.

[jamc91.livejournal.com]

Hold a long grudge to use against someone later. :P

[heronmy-weasley.livejournal.com]

Personally, I've never understood that excuse. I mean, if you have a bad day, it's not like it helps to rant over the Internet. If you have to yell at someone, yell at someone in real life. :P

Except, sometimes, that won't work or help.

I hate my job. My dad may have prostate cancer. Yelling at ... who would help ... what?

I'm not saying that venting via Internet is the option. Usually that can come back to haunt you. I'm just saying that assuming that yelling at someone in RL isn't really the answer, either, and who's to say that the RL person will "deserve" it any more just because they are there, literally, in front of you?

I said bad things a couple of days ago when I found out about my dad. It was a supremely bad day. I'm not going to take it back, because that's pointless, and I went in knowing I could and would be defriended over things I said. It's sad. But frankly, it got me to not think about my father possibly dying for the 15 or so minutes I spent ranting, and believe me when I say that those 15 minutes of respite was worth it.

[jamc91.livejournal.com]

Er...I was joking, you know.

I'm sorry about your dad. My friend's dad had cancer once.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Wow... I'm so sorry.

But your "bad day" isn't really what I meant, or what I think Jamc meant... I mean, that's beyond bad day. That's horrible news. I meant stuff like, "I burned my toast this morning, everything went wrong from there, and therefore I insulted a bunch of people for no reason!"

As for your Dad... my Mom had cancer a few years ago, and she's fine. Besides, it may not even be cancer.