So They Ship

[author_by_night]

Everyone's talking about how it's been eight years since DH. I'm filking about how it's been eight years since HP shippers went batshit.

Just sayin'.

"So They Say" is from Doctor Horrible's Singalong Blog. Because why not.

(And just a disclaimer, this isn't actual ship or fan bashing, just commentary on how fans reacted. I think y'all know where I stood, though. Yes, I just typed y'all. My Texas LJ friends are rubbng off on me. Y'all know who you are. I'm done now.)


The Media

So they say Harry Potter's
Never  been hotter
We know the fans are cleaning up the shelves

Bookstore Owners
About time!

Snape/Lily Shippers
We know that it was true love
So romantic!
He planned this

OBHWF Shippers
So they say we'll have Good Ships and crushes canon by Sunday
STFU

H/Hr Shippers
Excuse  me?

R/T Shippers
It's the perfect story
So they say
OTP is sailing away
Pink moon love's in glory
This will be the best

Suspicious Readers
DD is gay...

Ginny Bashers
Who cares if he saved her life?
That girl slept with half of Hogwarts
And is a lot like his Mum
We have a problem with her
She has red hair

Sleazy Fandom Dudebro
This is so nice
I might just sleep with the same fan twice
I hear it's better the second time
I hear you get to do the weird stuff

Snapefen
We do the weird stuff!

Mixed Feelings Fan
It's the perfect story
So they say
I guess it's pretty okay
After years of storming
How can I have fin'lly found the bay?

R/S & R/T Shippers
There's no happy ending -
That we can say

R/T Shipper
No howls or hoorays

R/S & R/T Shippers
It's time to stop ship warring
Come as one for this sucky day

Snape/Lily Shipper
We were right about them

All Fans
There's no books left!