Neither Here Nor There: Chapter Sixteen
Jun. 27th, 2015 07:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
author_by_nightTitle: Neither Here Nor There
Fandom: Harry Potter
Chapter: Sixteen
Rating: PG-13
Ships: Hestia/Kingsley, Percy/Audrey, mentions of established canon ships.
Summary: It's been six months since the war, and everyone's ready to try moving on. Lyall Lupin and Andromeda Tonks are coming to terms with the death of their children, finding solace in one another - but how long can they stay close in the face of absence? Kingsley Shacklebolt is trying to lead a country that has been left bitter by war, so distrustful many even doubt him. And Hestia Jones is trying to harbor all she holds dear, which is hard when there's secrets she's never had the heart to reveal.
Kingsley knew a lot of things about Hestia.
He knew she was obsessed with how things moved. He'd learned that early on, when she'd laughed at the Dursley's potato peeler, her cheeks pink with delight. He knew she had an irrational fear of ladybugs. ("It's just the way their wings seem to split," she'd explained.) He knew she put her family and friends first at all times.
Therefore, he knew she missed Bill and Fleur.
"No, I haven't heard from them," Hestia told Kingsley when he asked one afternoon while they were having lunch across the street from the Ministry. "And yes, it's been two weeks. Your point?"
"Don't you miss them?"
Hestia sighed. "Kingsley..."
"Hestia..."
"Kingsley."
"Hestia."
Hestia paused. "It's for the best, y'know? Too much... association with things that are best left in the past. Besides, I tried to talk to Bill and Fleur the other day - I told you, they pretended not to see me coming."
"So try again. They're your best friends."
"You're my best friend. And I have Audrey."
"Of course." Kingsley held Hestia's hand. "But you know, one of the things that I always loved about you was how you keep have close friends from your childhood. I've lost touch with most of my mates - being an Auror made it difficult, then with the war... let's just say I wish I had what you did."
"I had a lot more friends at Hogwarts than I do now."
"All the more reason to keep the ones you have."
Hestia shifted in her seat. "I just don't see how I can begin to apologize. I feel horrible, really."
"Why did you say those things?"
"I told you, the leithfold-"
"-besides that?"
"It's simple."
Kingsley turned. Percy and Audrey had walked up to them.
"I didn't realize you two were here," Hestia said in surprise.
"Neither did we," Audrey said with a laugh. "Small world. We could've eaten together."
"So what do you mean by, it's simple?" Hestia asked Percy
Percy sat in the chair next to Kingsley. "You're conflicted. You know you were wrong to say those things, but at the same time, you know you meant them, and part of you thinks they should be the ones to reach out to you. They feel the same way."
"Did they tell you that?"
"No. The only thing Fleur's said is that you're -"
Audrey let out a loud "ahem."
"Great," Hestia said. "That makes me want to welcome them back into my life with open arms."
Percy shook his head. "No, it doesn't. But the more you run, the harder it is to go back, and yes, Hestia, you do. First off, logically speaking, as long as you're a friend of Audrey and myself, you will have to acknowledge their presence at some point in time. Not to mention that you are also well acquainted with Harry and Ginny. Ginny thinks the sun rises and sets on Bill. No, you cannot escape them."
"There's a greater point coming," Audrey assured Hestia.
"Thank you, Audrey," Percy told her. Audrey shook her head lovingly. "The more pressing matter at hand is... you do want them back in our life. Maybe you don't know it, but you do, and you don't want it to be too late. I never said too many things I wish I had now, because I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts and feelings."
"You couldn't have the last year of the war, Percy. It would've put all of us in great danger."
"What about within the first two? But this isn't about me forgiving myself. This is about you forgiving your family."
"They're not my family."
Kingsley gave her a look, and Hestia winced.
Audrey stepped in. "Remember when you tried to set me up with Charlie?" (Percy raised his eyebrows.) "All you talked about was how amazing he was, how amazing Bill was, how you even cared for Fleur despite her flaws. They're your family, Hestia."
Kingsley nodded. "Audrey's right. You've known Bill and Charlie since you were eleven years old."
"And I wouldn't wish a rift with family on anyone," Percy added.
"I suppose you've got a point," Hestia admitted after a minute.
"Go to them."
"Can it wait until after work? I've a lot to do."
"Clearly that comes first," Percy said, "but don't delay. You'd be surprised how too late 'when it's the right time' can be."
Percy and Audrey left, still holding hands. Hestia watched them, then looked back at Kingsley.
"When did those kids become so smart?"
Hestia knocked on the door pensively. She didn't know what she was going to say.
I'm sorry.
That jab about Fred was horrible. I hate what I said about that.
You have a lovely wife, and an even lovelier home. No - you have a lovely home, and an even lovelier wife.
Fleur is one of the nicest people I've ever - no, don't get carried away.
I'm sorry.
"Hestia?"
Bill was coming up from behind her, clearly having just gotten off work.
"Oh," Hestia said. "You're not home yet - I mean, you're home yet now. Yet is now. Now isn't yet."
"I've just gotten home, if that's what you're trying to say."
Hestia nodded. "We need to talk... I'm so, so sorry about that night."
Bill didn't respond.
"I know you care," Hestia continued. "My mind was foggy and muddled, and I wasn't thinking. And maybe a little envious."
"You don't have to apologize to me. I'm past it."
"Really?"
"I know you didn't mean to say certain things. However, what you said to Fleur..."
"I didn't mean that either."
"Except in a way, I reckon you did. Do you know how hard it's been for her? It took her two years to win over my Mum and Ginny, and she knows she hasn't completely won over a lot of other people in my life, including you. I won't say some of it's not because of her candid personality, but she's always felt like an outsider. And when you told her she doesn't give a damn-"
"-I know she cares. It's not that. It's..." Hestia struggled to find the right words.
"Whatever it is, you need to talk to her. Like an adult. I'm done with having to constantly play emissary."
"I see." Hestia squirmed inwardly.
"Fleur might be at the back of the cottage, she likes to look at the water in the evening."
Hestia poked her head around the cottage; sure enough, Fleur was watching the waves.
"Hi, Fleur," Hestia said as she approached her.
Fleur scrunched her nose at the sight of Hestia. "Oh. It's you."
"Yeah... Bill told me you'd be here."
"Did 'e?" Fleur tugged her hair, which had been flying in her face, and smoothed it over her shoulder. "Well, make it quick, I was going to cook dinner."
"I wanted to talk to you about our row."
"I didn't row. You rowed."
The waves crashed against the rocks; it both calmed Hestia and made her feel more anxious, if such a thing were possible.
"I think I may be a little jealous," Hestia admitted.
"Of my looks. I know. Women always are."
"Actually, no. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a perfect nose and your beautiful eyes, but... that's not why I'm jealous. I'm jealous because it seems like you and Bill got off easy. I know you didn't," she added quickly when Fleur scowled, "but can you blame me? You got to get married-"
"-yes, and as you pointed out, Death Eaters ruined my wedding-"
"-then you were here, in this wonderful cottage with Bill, and now you're pregnant! It just seems your life fell into place perfectly after the war. As though you got away unscathed."
"'ave you seen Bill's scars?"
"Of course."
"I take pride in Bill's face as it is now, but zey are still remnants of when..." Fleur couldn't finish. "And 'e lost Fred. Imagine losing Megan. Zat is 'ow 'e feels."
Hestia didn't have to work hard to imagine.
"Fred was my brother-in-law. 'e made me laugh. It hurts me as much as anyone. And you weren't zee only one who lost friends. Zey were my friends, too. Especially Remus - 'e understood me best. I stayed strong because I thought you, Bill, and Charlie needed it, not because I wasn't also sad. I gave a damn. I gave a damn about all of the losses. I even considered naming the baby Emmeline."
"Really?"
"She was my favourite, after all." Fleur smiled sadly. "But she also said she never liked zee tradition of naming children after zee deceased. I've decided on Victoire."
"Victoire?"
"Victory. I zink it covers all those who died for zee cause without being... as Emmeline said, 'kitschy.'"
Hestia laughed. "I miss Emmeline."
"Me too."
Fleur brushed her hair away from her face again. "Zere's one other thing you should know. It's about Charlie... something 'e made me promise not to tell anyone, specifically you and Bill. I normally keep my promises, but... you should know why 'e was asking you all of those questions about Tonks."
"I thought it was just because she was his best friend."
Fleur looked sad now. "She was so much more zan zat, 'estia. 'e loved her."
"We all did," Hestia said.
"No. Loved. Zey were a couple at 'ogwarts."
Hestia stared at Fleur. "How can that be? I'd remember that."
"Zey never told any of their friends. Or Bill."
"They told me everything, though."
"Not everything. As I understand it, zey were going to once zey figured it out. Except zat never 'appened, because Charlie wanted to study Dragons and Tonks wanted to be an Auror. Their dreams were splitting their lives into two, there was no use pretending otherwise."
Hestia's heart sank as she took it in.
It all made sense now; how awkward they'd been the night of Charlie's going away party, the time Tonks hinted she had a secret boyfriend their sixth year, the fact that Charlie had been in so much shock when it happened.
Hestia swore loudly. "Did he still love her when she was killed?"
Fleur hesitated. "Eet's complicated. I do not know exactly 'ow 'e felt, because even Charlie didn't, not really. I do know Tonks's death 'urt 'im in a special way, bad special, and no one understood because no one knew the secret."
"Merlin, poor Charlie." No wonder he'd wanted to know if there was anything strange in her leithfold dream. Hestia felt awful for being short with him. Why hadn't she realized what was going on?
"Indeed. Remember, though, I was not to tell you."
"Your - his - secret's safe with me," Hestia assured her. "I don't know what to make of this."
"Zat we are all 'urt, and no one in the same way. We need to 'ave each other's backs, and be friends with our friends, not enemies with our friends."
"So we're good, then?"
Fleur nodded. "I would like you to stay for dinner. I will Floo Charlie, too."
"You don't have to-"
"-we need a proper do-over. Come on."
Fleur took Hestia's hand, and the rekindled friends made their way through the sand towards what was still, in its way, a haven from darker things.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Chapter: Sixteen
Rating: PG-13
Ships: Hestia/Kingsley, Percy/Audrey, mentions of established canon ships.
Summary: It's been six months since the war, and everyone's ready to try moving on. Lyall Lupin and Andromeda Tonks are coming to terms with the death of their children, finding solace in one another - but how long can they stay close in the face of absence? Kingsley Shacklebolt is trying to lead a country that has been left bitter by war, so distrustful many even doubt him. And Hestia Jones is trying to harbor all she holds dear, which is hard when there's secrets she's never had the heart to reveal.
Kingsley knew a lot of things about Hestia.
He knew she was obsessed with how things moved. He'd learned that early on, when she'd laughed at the Dursley's potato peeler, her cheeks pink with delight. He knew she had an irrational fear of ladybugs. ("It's just the way their wings seem to split," she'd explained.) He knew she put her family and friends first at all times.
Therefore, he knew she missed Bill and Fleur.
"No, I haven't heard from them," Hestia told Kingsley when he asked one afternoon while they were having lunch across the street from the Ministry. "And yes, it's been two weeks. Your point?"
"Don't you miss them?"
Hestia sighed. "Kingsley..."
"Hestia..."
"Kingsley."
"Hestia."
Hestia paused. "It's for the best, y'know? Too much... association with things that are best left in the past. Besides, I tried to talk to Bill and Fleur the other day - I told you, they pretended not to see me coming."
"So try again. They're your best friends."
"You're my best friend. And I have Audrey."
"Of course." Kingsley held Hestia's hand. "But you know, one of the things that I always loved about you was how you keep have close friends from your childhood. I've lost touch with most of my mates - being an Auror made it difficult, then with the war... let's just say I wish I had what you did."
"I had a lot more friends at Hogwarts than I do now."
"All the more reason to keep the ones you have."
Hestia shifted in her seat. "I just don't see how I can begin to apologize. I feel horrible, really."
"Why did you say those things?"
"I told you, the leithfold-"
"-besides that?"
"It's simple."
Kingsley turned. Percy and Audrey had walked up to them.
"I didn't realize you two were here," Hestia said in surprise.
"Neither did we," Audrey said with a laugh. "Small world. We could've eaten together."
"So what do you mean by, it's simple?" Hestia asked Percy
Percy sat in the chair next to Kingsley. "You're conflicted. You know you were wrong to say those things, but at the same time, you know you meant them, and part of you thinks they should be the ones to reach out to you. They feel the same way."
"Did they tell you that?"
"No. The only thing Fleur's said is that you're -"
Audrey let out a loud "ahem."
"Great," Hestia said. "That makes me want to welcome them back into my life with open arms."
Percy shook his head. "No, it doesn't. But the more you run, the harder it is to go back, and yes, Hestia, you do. First off, logically speaking, as long as you're a friend of Audrey and myself, you will have to acknowledge their presence at some point in time. Not to mention that you are also well acquainted with Harry and Ginny. Ginny thinks the sun rises and sets on Bill. No, you cannot escape them."
"There's a greater point coming," Audrey assured Hestia.
"Thank you, Audrey," Percy told her. Audrey shook her head lovingly. "The more pressing matter at hand is... you do want them back in our life. Maybe you don't know it, but you do, and you don't want it to be too late. I never said too many things I wish I had now, because I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts and feelings."
"You couldn't have the last year of the war, Percy. It would've put all of us in great danger."
"What about within the first two? But this isn't about me forgiving myself. This is about you forgiving your family."
"They're not my family."
Kingsley gave her a look, and Hestia winced.
Audrey stepped in. "Remember when you tried to set me up with Charlie?" (Percy raised his eyebrows.) "All you talked about was how amazing he was, how amazing Bill was, how you even cared for Fleur despite her flaws. They're your family, Hestia."
Kingsley nodded. "Audrey's right. You've known Bill and Charlie since you were eleven years old."
"And I wouldn't wish a rift with family on anyone," Percy added.
"I suppose you've got a point," Hestia admitted after a minute.
"Go to them."
"Can it wait until after work? I've a lot to do."
"Clearly that comes first," Percy said, "but don't delay. You'd be surprised how too late 'when it's the right time' can be."
Percy and Audrey left, still holding hands. Hestia watched them, then looked back at Kingsley.
"When did those kids become so smart?"
Hestia knocked on the door pensively. She didn't know what she was going to say.
I'm sorry.
That jab about Fred was horrible. I hate what I said about that.
You have a lovely wife, and an even lovelier home. No - you have a lovely home, and an even lovelier wife.
Fleur is one of the nicest people I've ever - no, don't get carried away.
I'm sorry.
"Hestia?"
Bill was coming up from behind her, clearly having just gotten off work.
"Oh," Hestia said. "You're not home yet - I mean, you're home yet now. Yet is now. Now isn't yet."
"I've just gotten home, if that's what you're trying to say."
Hestia nodded. "We need to talk... I'm so, so sorry about that night."
Bill didn't respond.
"I know you care," Hestia continued. "My mind was foggy and muddled, and I wasn't thinking. And maybe a little envious."
"You don't have to apologize to me. I'm past it."
"Really?"
"I know you didn't mean to say certain things. However, what you said to Fleur..."
"I didn't mean that either."
"Except in a way, I reckon you did. Do you know how hard it's been for her? It took her two years to win over my Mum and Ginny, and she knows she hasn't completely won over a lot of other people in my life, including you. I won't say some of it's not because of her candid personality, but she's always felt like an outsider. And when you told her she doesn't give a damn-"
"-I know she cares. It's not that. It's..." Hestia struggled to find the right words.
"Whatever it is, you need to talk to her. Like an adult. I'm done with having to constantly play emissary."
"I see." Hestia squirmed inwardly.
"Fleur might be at the back of the cottage, she likes to look at the water in the evening."
Hestia poked her head around the cottage; sure enough, Fleur was watching the waves.
"Hi, Fleur," Hestia said as she approached her.
Fleur scrunched her nose at the sight of Hestia. "Oh. It's you."
"Yeah... Bill told me you'd be here."
"Did 'e?" Fleur tugged her hair, which had been flying in her face, and smoothed it over her shoulder. "Well, make it quick, I was going to cook dinner."
"I wanted to talk to you about our row."
"I didn't row. You rowed."
The waves crashed against the rocks; it both calmed Hestia and made her feel more anxious, if such a thing were possible.
"I think I may be a little jealous," Hestia admitted.
"Of my looks. I know. Women always are."
"Actually, no. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a perfect nose and your beautiful eyes, but... that's not why I'm jealous. I'm jealous because it seems like you and Bill got off easy. I know you didn't," she added quickly when Fleur scowled, "but can you blame me? You got to get married-"
"-yes, and as you pointed out, Death Eaters ruined my wedding-"
"-then you were here, in this wonderful cottage with Bill, and now you're pregnant! It just seems your life fell into place perfectly after the war. As though you got away unscathed."
"'ave you seen Bill's scars?"
"Of course."
"I take pride in Bill's face as it is now, but zey are still remnants of when..." Fleur couldn't finish. "And 'e lost Fred. Imagine losing Megan. Zat is 'ow 'e feels."
Hestia didn't have to work hard to imagine.
"Fred was my brother-in-law. 'e made me laugh. It hurts me as much as anyone. And you weren't zee only one who lost friends. Zey were my friends, too. Especially Remus - 'e understood me best. I stayed strong because I thought you, Bill, and Charlie needed it, not because I wasn't also sad. I gave a damn. I gave a damn about all of the losses. I even considered naming the baby Emmeline."
"Really?"
"She was my favourite, after all." Fleur smiled sadly. "But she also said she never liked zee tradition of naming children after zee deceased. I've decided on Victoire."
"Victoire?"
"Victory. I zink it covers all those who died for zee cause without being... as Emmeline said, 'kitschy.'"
Hestia laughed. "I miss Emmeline."
"Me too."
Fleur brushed her hair away from her face again. "Zere's one other thing you should know. It's about Charlie... something 'e made me promise not to tell anyone, specifically you and Bill. I normally keep my promises, but... you should know why 'e was asking you all of those questions about Tonks."
"I thought it was just because she was his best friend."
Fleur looked sad now. "She was so much more zan zat, 'estia. 'e loved her."
"We all did," Hestia said.
"No. Loved. Zey were a couple at 'ogwarts."
Hestia stared at Fleur. "How can that be? I'd remember that."
"Zey never told any of their friends. Or Bill."
"They told me everything, though."
"Not everything. As I understand it, zey were going to once zey figured it out. Except zat never 'appened, because Charlie wanted to study Dragons and Tonks wanted to be an Auror. Their dreams were splitting their lives into two, there was no use pretending otherwise."
Hestia's heart sank as she took it in.
It all made sense now; how awkward they'd been the night of Charlie's going away party, the time Tonks hinted she had a secret boyfriend their sixth year, the fact that Charlie had been in so much shock when it happened.
Hestia swore loudly. "Did he still love her when she was killed?"
Fleur hesitated. "Eet's complicated. I do not know exactly 'ow 'e felt, because even Charlie didn't, not really. I do know Tonks's death 'urt 'im in a special way, bad special, and no one understood because no one knew the secret."
"Merlin, poor Charlie." No wonder he'd wanted to know if there was anything strange in her leithfold dream. Hestia felt awful for being short with him. Why hadn't she realized what was going on?
"Indeed. Remember, though, I was not to tell you."
"Your - his - secret's safe with me," Hestia assured her. "I don't know what to make of this."
"Zat we are all 'urt, and no one in the same way. We need to 'ave each other's backs, and be friends with our friends, not enemies with our friends."
"So we're good, then?"
Fleur nodded. "I would like you to stay for dinner. I will Floo Charlie, too."
"You don't have to-"
"-we need a proper do-over. Come on."
Fleur took Hestia's hand, and the rekindled friends made their way through the sand towards what was still, in its way, a haven from darker things.
