Ficlet: Those Who Remain

[author_by_night]

hp_reunion is only making me want to write more Harry Potter drabbles.

These /ficlets are about Lily's friends, who I have head canons about. They're all characters we mostly know by name.




Marlene McKinnon

When Marlene looked back on her school years, she'd realize in a lot of ways, she was the one with the least personality, maybe because she knew more than the others. They were all aware of the war, of course but they didn't know the worst was yet to come, because their family members were not in the Order like Marlene's. Marlene's parents and uncle had known the war was starting before most of the wizarding world did, being among the first mwmbers. Marlene knew after Hogwarts, she and her brother would be expected to join, along with their much younger sister if the war wasn't over by then. Marlene rarely conveyed this concern to her friends.

Lily saw the best in everyone, to the point where it could get a little annoying. It took her until their fifth year to realize Severus was a bad friend; then she became friends with James Potter and his friends, who were a better trade-off. Despina claimed she'd dumped Sirius after a long romance, which in Despina's world was one date. But when Marlene caught Despina eyeing Sirius longingly during their OWLs,  she knew Sirius had rejected her.

Despina could be flighty, especially when she was in love; but her heart was in the right place, and while Lily saw the best in people, Despina was the one who kept everyone's spirits up, whose occasionally batty notions made everyone smile. It was no wonder that Despina would end up marrying a man with the last name "Quirke." Emmeline was more stoic and guarded, not for any big reasons that Marlene could tell, but simply because that's who she was. She was also quite blunt, quick to call people out, and the only times she wasn't stoic was when she felt there was a cause to be fought for. She was similar to Lily in that way; one year they decided Slytherin's tactics were too cruel and boycotted a Quidditch match between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Emmeline was the lone Ravenclaw in their group, and this made her even lonelier; Emmeline pretended not to care, but they all knew she did.

Mary was their protector; she was a muggleborn like Lily, but whereas Lily's family was middle class, Mary was from a small town, the granddaughter of a miner and daughter of greengrocers. She'd learned early on to fend for herself,  working summer holidays to help support her family and taking care of her siblings. It was no surprise, then, that among their group she was, in many ways, the glue who held them all together. When any of them were hurt, Mary was the first one who came to their aide - MacDonald's Fury, they called it.

Emmeline and Lily joined the Order with Marlene after school, but Mary and Despina didn't. Emmeline only knew because her brother was killed by a Death Eater, and wanted to avenge his death. Lily joined because she had idealistic ideas about saving the world, much like her boyfriend and his friends.  The three of them didn't want Mary and Despina involved - they were their salvation from the madness, their time of normalcy. Besides, Marlene knew Mary's "mother hen" tendencies and Despina's lack of common sense might result in them doing something rash.

Mary and Despina found out about the Order, though, when Gideon Prewett and his brother were killed. Mary had been dating him a year, but he hadn't told her about the Order. His family didn't know either, especially not his sister Molly.

"Can you imagine what Molly and Mary would do to us together?" Gideon joked once.

Then he and Fabian were killed, and the truth unraveled. Mary wouldn't speak to Lily, Marlene or Emmeline for several  months, blaming the Order for not protecting him, blaming her friends for not being honest, and likely hating herself for hating her deceased boyfriend even as her heart ached for him. But as more and more of Marlene's family perished, concern superseded Mary's anger.

"Lena," Mary said one day, "they're coming after you. Don't you see?"

"Don't I see? Are you mad? Of course I see. They got most of my family. Including my nieces and nephews."

"That's why you should stop. Look..." Mary took a deep breath. "i've already lost Gideon. I can't lose you too."

"So I'll just let them have died in vain? No, Mary. I won't stop until they're all gone."

"Maybe you should at least go into hiding," Lily suggested quietly. "James has a family home in Godric's -"

"No. I will not hide like a rabbit and wait for them to find me. I'm fighting them. So if they want me? Let them come."

They did.





Lily Potter (nee Evans)

Lily cried for a week.

By the time it happened, she had gone into hiding, just as she'd told Marlene to do; of course, in her case, it was for her son. She didn't know what You-Know... Voldemort wanted with him. It didn't matter. He wasn't getting him.

Lily wished now that she'd forced Marlene to come, but they couldn't trust anyone, not even their friends. Lily couldn't imagine that Marlene was the spy, but horrible thoughts she regretted now had been in her head, because how could they not be? What if Marlene had made some sort of bargain? She had a younger sister still at Hogwarts - what if they'd promised her that her sister might live to see the light of day if Marlene did just one thing? But Marlene had been killed, and Lily was watching her friends, hiding under James's cloak. She wanted to comfort them, but she couldn't, because most of the Order was there, and any of them could be the spy. Any of them could destroy her family. It made Lily sick.

"I should have visited her earlier," Mary sobbed as she stared at the grave.

"You couldn't have known, Mary," Emmeline said.

"Did you know?" Mary asked. "You're in the Order, after all. I like to think if you'd known she was in trouble, you would have summoned me to help."

"I didn't know anything more than you did. Though I have to say, I wouldn't have put you in danger when you haven't been trained."

"So you would have kept me in the dark, like when my boyfriend's life was in danger? Like you're keeping me in the dark about Lily?"

Lily drew in a breath.

"I told you, I don't know where she is."

"I think you know why she isn't here. I think you know why she said she had to go away for some time, and not to contact her. But because of your stupid Order-"

"-do not call the Order stupid," Emmeline snapped. "We're the ones protecting her!"

"Because that worked out so well for Gideon and Marlene!"

"STOP IT!"

Despina was the one who had shouted.

"We can't fight right now," Despina said angrily. "That's not why we're here. We're here for Marlene. Okay?"

Everyone fell silent.

"Anyone fancy a drink?" Mary asked with a sad laugh.

"Sounds perfect," Despina said. Emmeline nodded in agreement.

Lily smiled sadly as she watched her friends depart. She disapparated to Godric's Hollow and headed to their house.

"How was it?" James asked as he opened the door for her.

"I couldn't talk to them. I hate that I couldn't say anything. But the service was tasteful."

"Of course." James kissed her forehead. "This can't last much longer, can it? You'll be able to see them again soon enough."

Lily remembered how they'd almost broken into a horrible argument they'd all regret, and how quickly they'd recovered from it. They would come together in the end, just as they always had.

They were going to be just fine.

Emmeline Vance

When Lily died, Emmeline was at a loss.

She was the only one who had known the full extent of the danger Lily was in, and certainly the only one who understood what Sirius had done. Sirius. Emmeline still couldn't wrap her head around it. She'd always liked Sirius; not in school so much, but in the Order, he'd become a friend, someone Emmeline could trust. She loved how protective he was of Lily and James. Sirius had once admitted to Emmeline that Lily was the sister he'd never had. Emmeline realized she should have known he couldn't say something that uncharacteristically sweet and not be the spy.

Despina and Mary knew Sirius was in prison for murder, of course, and Emmeline figured they knew he might have something to do with the death of their friend. But they didn't say anything; talk about the war was off limits. Instead they talked about the men they fancied - Mary had been on a few dates with a Reginald Cattermole. Their hearts were heavy with the loss of their friends, but unlike Emmeline, they hadn't lost so many of them.

After Alice and Frank were attacked, Emmeline couldn't play pretend anymore. She spent most of her time with Remus Lupin, who was lonely too. It wasn't hard to be with him so much, considering Emmeline had pulled some strings and gotten Remus a job at Witch Weekly with her. It wasn't really the right place for either of them, but it was a place. Of course, Emmeline had ommitted one crucial piece of information; when their Editor-in-Chief found out Remus was a werewolf, she fired him. Emmeline quit as well in protest, and they ended up back at Remus's flat, sitting on his shabby couch.

"I don't have a job anymore," Remus said, as though it had just dawned on him.

"Me either. Or friends."

"What about Mary and Despina?"

"I haven't contacted them in weeks. I don't know what to say. It's stupid."

"I haven't even been in touch with my own father since James and Lily's funeral."

"That's also stupid."

"I know."

One thing led to another; Emmeline kissed Remus, who kissed her back, and before either of them really knew what was happening, they were on Remus's bed - but both stopped at the same time.

"We can't do this," Remus said as he turned over. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"You're lonely. I'm lonely. We lost everything and need something back. This isn't the way, though.  Unless you... think of me like that."

"I can't date anyone, Emmeline. You know that. Werewolf, remember? Too many things come with the package."

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Don't use that one with a girl you actually want to shag. It's a piss poor excuse."

"What's your excuse, then?" Remus sat up on his elbows as he searched her.

"Don't need one," Emmeline replied, "nor do you. We're just two sorry people. We'll find the right ones someday."

Emmeline kissed Remus on the cheek, collected her belongings, and strode out the door. They didn't speak again after that night.

A year later, Emmelne received an invitation to Despina's wedding. There they reconnected; Emmeline learned that Mary was also engaged, having said yes to the very same Reggie Cattermole. They embraced, giggled, planned, and soon it was like the old days, minus three. But with their new husbands and children, whom Emmeline grew to love, the void wasn't quite as large. The years went on, and Emmeline's pain lessened each one.

One night, the doorbell rang. Remus was standing on her front porch, looking older and worse than Emmeline had ever seen him.

Remus started to talk, but Emmeline already knew. There were some expressions you could never forget. Inwardly cancelling the plans she'd had to see her friends that night, she looked at him in the eye and said, "he's back, isn't he?"

Mary Cattermole (nee MacDonald)

Mary was losing her hold. This, at least, she knew.

She held a sobbing Sturgis at Emmeline's funeral; he'd fallen in love with Emmeline, and apparently had been about to propose marriage. Some things weren't meant to be.

Mary thought perhaps she should have joined the Order, and knew Despina wondered the same thing. But they had young children; they had to be there. Besides, they'd done the best they could. They'd done the best they could. They'd...

"Mum?" Maisie, the youngest, was staring up at her with a confused expression. At five, she didn't really understand what was going on - but Mary had wanted her here.

"Shh," Ellie said, leading her and Alfred away. Mary wanted her children to come back so she could hold them, but was also glad for the interruption.

How could she let this happen? Mary had been the mother hen of the group, and she'd lost most of her chicks. It hurt. And as a muggleborn, it wouldn't be long before someone targeted her... or Reggie, or the children...

"I should leave," Mary told Reggie a few nights later. "You and the kids are in danger with me around."

"Mary, no!"

"And if I'm in danger, well, it'll hurt less, won't it?"

"Mary." Reginald put his hand on her shoulders. "This isn't you. You're not usually like this. Whatever's going on, snap out of it. I can't lose you, nor can the children. Stay strong for the children."

The children.

Mary took Reginald's words to heart. She tried her best to go about her days as though nothing had changed; she sent Ellie to Hogwarts, and reminded Alfred he would be starting soon too. She continued Alfred and Maisie's lessons at home, took them to a muggle museum one afternoon (now more than ever, they needed to appreciate where they came from), made love to Reggie as often as she was in the mood, had lunch with Despina and pretended  not to hear when Despina mentioned bad news.  She wore her hair in a tight bun, much like Emmeline used to. She wished Emmeline's stoicism came as easily to her.

When Dumbledore died, and they learned who killed him, Mary felt sick. Of all people, it had to be him. Mary sometimes wondered whether Snape was the one who'd led You-Know-Who to Lily...

"No," Despina said firmly when Mary told her. "Severus wouldn't have done that to Lily. He cared about her."

"Despina, he was a Death Eater. Do you really still think...?"

"Yeah," Despina said. "Why not?"

Mary wished, in some ways, that she had Despina's fanciful ideas - the ideas had become more serious over the years, war and motherhood did that to you, but still Despina was a romantic as much as Lily was an optimist.

When the Ministry was taken over, Mary knew she had to run. She arranged for her parents to go to America; they'd like it there, she insisted. Then Mary and Reginald made arrangements with the Headmistress of Beauxbatons to have Alfred and Ellie attend school there. They'd move to France too; Reginald had a brother there, fortunately.

But the new Ministry regime was faster; one day Mary opened her door to find John Dawlish on her doorstep, and before she could disapparate, he'd taken her away.

Despina Quirke (nee Alexander)

Despina had never been the smart one. It was probably to Emmeline's credit that her Orla was in Ravenclaw.

But she had her heart, and it was telling her she could do this. She had to do this.

When Reggie and Mary went missing, Despina's husband had taken their children and Orla to France. He'd done it that morning, rather stealthily. Despina had managed to hide in one of the secret passages - she and Sirius Black had snogged there once, and Despina tended to remember things like that.

The poor sod still needn't have died, though. He was Harry's Godfather.

Despina had never reached out to Harry. None of them had; where could they begin? Emmeline had met him, and they'd spoken on a few occasions, but that was it. It seemed easiest to maintain a distance.

Her heart was pounding as she made her way up the steps. It was risky; he could kill her on the spot. But Orla was long gone, snatched by way of her husband's quick thinking. They'd be safe. As for her own safety... well, what did that matter now? Despina was willing to risk death in order to find Mary and Reggie.

Severus let her in; he looked older, somehow. Despina didn't care.

"Where is she?" Despina asked.

"Your daughter?"

"No. Mary. Mary Cattermole."

"Mrs. Quirke-"

"It's Despina. You know who I am. You know who Mary is, who she was friends with."

Severus's hand twitched briefly, but he said nothing.

"I'm not stupid," Despina continued. "I know you never cared about us, not really. But when she told you to never make fun of Mary or any of us again, you didn't. Not for us; it was never about us. You're not a good man, after all. Still, you're a person, with memories and feelings."

"Even if I had the slightest -"

"-oh, I know you know who I mean. And what she would have wanted."

"One more word, and-"

"-you've had plenty of time to do anything you want, and yet here I still stand. Now tell me where Mary is."

"All I know, Mrs. Quirke, is that she's wanted for stealing a wand. We are quite hopeful she will be found soon. Also, if you do not leave at once, some colleagues of mine were to report here soon. They would be delighted to see you."

"That's really all you know?" Despina asked.

"Yes, Mrs. Quirke."

A portrait was mouthing at Despina to go, so she left; when she saw the Carrow siblings making their way down the corridor, she quickly blended in with McGonagall and a few other professors, who acted as though she'd been there the entire time.

Eventually, Despina got to France; there she was reunited with her family, and Mary's. The children learned French, but very little of what was happening at home. Every day Despina would hear something at the door and pull it open, hoping to see Mary and Reggie. It was never them.

When the war ended, they returned home. The Cattermole's house was in shambles, but the children were with Despina and her family anyway. Despina asked the Aurors to find her friends; she found out Harry had tried to save Mary, even without knowing who she was. But he had no idea what had become of her.

One night, there was yet again a knock at the door; Despina opened it wearily to see Ron Weasley on the front porch.

"We've found them," he said. "They're alive."

Alive, but shaken; Mary didn't speak much at all. She stayed close to her family, and Despina sadly knew she needed her space for a while. So she went about her life, sad and grateful at once.

One afternoon, Despina was at the cemetery weeding the area around Marlene's grave. The only other person who took care of it was Marlene's sister, and even then, it was usually too painful for her. Despina was surprised when Mary joined her.

"I knew you'd be here," Mary said.

"I am... come as often as I can. How are you?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

Despina laughed, and so did Mary. They helped one another up, and each of them put their hands on Marlene's headstone.

"It's hard to believe it's been this long," Mary said softly. "I miss them."

"Me too. But they're still here, I think, in a way. If they weren't, we wouldn't be."

Mary's eyes were watery, and Despina put her arm around her.

"Hey," she said quietly, "It's over. We're going to be okay now."

They really were going to be just fine.

Comments

[inell.livejournal.com]

Oh! These are lovely! They made me teary about that whole 'lost generation'.

[ragnarok-08.livejournal.com]

These are lovely :)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[cherrytide.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's so sad to think of all those losses. I'm glad Mary and Despina made it in the end. Very nice fic!

[amorette.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this really makes me so sad! I find the structure of the drabbles(ficlets?) so interesting, how we learn that the one before died as a result of the war, first Marlene then Lily then Emmeline. It was like they were dominoes all tumbling one after the other inevitably, it was only a matter of time. It was so sad to read about Emmeline because she had a short relationship w Remus, and it never stood a chance of taking off, although I suppose it wouldnt even if she had been alive.

It was interesting to see the events of the war from the pov of this group of friends, five girls just navigating life. I was sad none of them reached out to Harry when you pointed that out. The whole work has a tone of melancholy and inevitable doom. I am glad that Mary and Despina were able to survive in the end though. It was a quiet ending in that "life is life" sort of way, where they realize they just have to grin and bear it. I think it's a suitable ending for the tone of this piece.

Really creative and well executed! I always love works that explore missing moments of canon like this. :)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the review!

I enjoy exploring canon too. I always wondered why we never learned more about Lily's friends; I guess they just weren't as important to the story.

[amorette.livejournal.com]

Yes, I would say. It's Harry's story. We never learn v much about the marauders in general besides whats pertinent to Harry.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I honestly think - at this point - that everything fandom thinks it knows about the Marauders was more fanon anyway. I see the Marauders as serving more as a parable and a parallel to the trio - not in the sense that they're doppelgangers, but in the sense that they're another group of friends fighting a war. The Marauders screwed up in a lot of ways, and the trio learns from their mistakes. Fandom made them more epic characters than that. :P

(And as you know, I was a pretty huge MWPP fangirl in the day, so I'm not criticizing. Still have a soft spot for them...)

[amorette.livejournal.com]

I think that makes a lot of sense:)