Harry Potter? That was the kid with the funky scar I used to read about, right?

[author_by_night]

(This post contains spoilers for the Harry Potter books.)

Your Friends Are Not Watching the Same Show As You...

I think that the point is a valid one.

Last year, my Harry Potter friends and I were obsessive with - well, of course, Harry Potter. A Harry Potter movie trailer required as much attention as a tornado warning. "Kelsey's Shack" made us think "LOL Kingsley Shacklebot!" (Actually, the latter is almost a little too obsessive...)

But siriusly seriously, my point is, at one point... it didn't take much for us to talk about, think about, obsess over Harry Potter.

 Now, however, the books are over, and  things are different. There's the people still holding on, half hoping there will, someday, be another wizarding world related work from Jo. There's the people who still like the books enough, but who have moved on to greater pastures. 

I think that it's been hard for people to accept certain things. Myself included, to be honest. After all...  think of it like this: you graduated high school with a bunch of friends, and then you went off to college. When you got together again in June, you realized things were different now. Your new roommate may have gotten you into fantasy baseball, but your High School buddies stared at you like you're insane when you mention it. Or maybe your one friend still wanted to watch Rocky Horror like you always do, but you realized you're just not that interested anymore.

I think that it is important to accept the following:

1. Not everyone wants to hold on. Some things stick for people; other things don't. I'm obsessed with Harry Potter still, but I've read other series where when the books ended... so did my obsession. There was no need for me to theorize or analyze anymore. I feel TDH left a lot of open holes for me to try and fill with fanfic and theories and analysis, and a lot of my flist would say the same - but a lot of people stopped needing that.

2. However, some people still ARE going to hold on. There is nothing wrong with those of us who still love the books and still analyze them. We know the series is over, but that's not going to stop us from still  being obsessive.

3. It's okay to be in between 1 and 2. One can still be inwardly obsessed about something and still have stopped  analyzing it. Heck, there's tons of books I've long outgrown and/or gotten over, but that still have a special place in my heart.

4. Not everyone is going to follow you to your new fandoms. You might love Doctor Who, but your best fandom friend thinks Doctor Who is the world's most ridiculous show ever made. Your friend has not died. She has not become a Dalek. She just isn't going to share all of your interests. Instead of mourning, focus on the stuff you DO still have in common. And if she really is your closest friend... there's probably a lot more to your relationship than sharing the same fandom(s).

Let's go back to the high school example I used earlier. People do change; and you're not going to necessarily be able to stay as close with all your friends. But if you learn to enjoy what's still there, and even some of the new things... you'll find that sometimes, it's okay.

Comments

[scarlett71177.livejournal.com]

I think the only time it's an issue is when someone else is set on ruining your fun (or if you're set on spoiling theirs). I think it's also pretty commonly perceived that just because you've moved on and aren't spending as much time with one fandom or another that you 'hate it' or 'deserted it', but perhaps you're disappointed, you've said everything you have to say, or you're tired of the cold shoulder.

Sometimes we grow apart, and that's OK. You might see that 'high school friend' once and a while and say hi and catch up, but that's enough for another 6 months or so (and some people it's enough for forever! Take that from someone who went to their 10 year reunion.) Changing: it's all part of growing up.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I think it's also pretty commonly perceived that just because you've moved on and aren't spending as much time with one fandom or another that you 'hate it' or 'deserted it',

There definitely is that assumption. I do think sometimes it's correct, but - well, even then you can look to your real life examples. Sometimes it is malicious, and you need new friends who don't ditch you because they're not into that fandom anymore; other times, you need to give them a break, because while they're in new fandoms it doesn't mean they've deserted you. They just found something fresh.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Corollary of sorts to the 'ruining fun': not only can it mess up a friendship if A deprecates B's fandom, it's also a bad thing if B continues talking about the fandom constantly to A despite a polite request not to.

[scarlett71177.livejournal.com]

You betcha. There's all sorts of things that can throw a monkeywrench in the works. I only mind when it's malicious or misinformed.

[reconditarmonia.livejournal.com]

Eh...I jus see it as a little disrespectful to totally ignore someone's wishes that way. I had a friend who would rave at me every Friday morning about the previous day's episode of Lost, despite numerous reminders that I did not watch it and was not interested and attempts to change the subject.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

I had that exact same problem with Lost! It was to the point where I started to really dislike the show, and I never even watched it.

Plus, the people who gabbed about it made it sound really juvenile because all they talked about was how hot Locke and Charlie and other people were. It wasn't until I made a new friend who also watches the show that I realized it's actually quite deep and intense.

[scarlett71177.livejournal.com]

lol, I can see that. Let's hope she was just excited and valued your input.