author_by_night (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
author_by_night) wrote2011-09-02 07:44 am
author_by_night) wrote2011-09-02 07:44 am
Entry tags:
Writer's Block: Can't we all just get along?
[Error: unknown template qotd]
I think we adults need to be less naive and more understanding. I believe in group work, but for the love of God, if in one class you're always having to find a group for Mary Sue, it's time to take a stand and choose the group for your students. I remember even SAYING this to a teacher, but because the worst offenders were her soccer players, she was all "oh. That sucks."
And I think that advice needs to be given a bit... better? Even my guidance counselors tended to feed me "tell them how you feel" advice. Except the snotty girl is glad when you tell her "I feel bad when you..." Awesome - mission, like, so accomplished.
Mostly, however, it lays on two groups - parents and kids. Parents can't always help what their kids are influenced to do by hormones, friends, friends of the opposite gender, or if their kids are just mean. (And it's also true that some parents are former bullies themselves and don't have a problem with how their kids treat others, because they do the adult version of bullying to the adult version of the kids their children make miserable.) But I think a lot of parents allow bad behavior because they want to be their children's friends, and you know what? That's great if you can be, but then raise a child who you'd want to be friends with. I see so many parents let their kids be so rude and obnoxious and they just stare or smile nervously, like they know they should do something to curb it but have no idea what. Here's what you do - grab your child when he knocks the old man's cane over and make him pick the cane up for the man and apologize. Is he too young to know better? Good, that's when you start teaching him.
But there's a point where your kid knows better. It doesn't mean he or she won't necessarily make a mistake and allow their friends to do something wrong or do something wrong themselves. I let a friend do two things that were very nasty and I still have huge regrets, to the point where I question whether or not I was a good person like people thought. (I know it sounds silly. I just had no other friends and was willing to do anything to keep them, which resulted in lack of judgments. But... still.) But there's mistakes and there's being a jerk every day of someone else's life, and at some point kids are old enough to realize they're probably making that kid miserable, and mean enough to do it anyway because it makes them feel better. No, stupid anti-bullying assemblies (LOL LOL LOL LOL oh god, just, LOL) and bad parenting doesn't help, but at some point, kids just have to take responsibility for their own actions.
I think we adults need to be less naive and more understanding. I believe in group work, but for the love of God, if in one class you're always having to find a group for Mary Sue, it's time to take a stand and choose the group for your students. I remember even SAYING this to a teacher, but because the worst offenders were her soccer players, she was all "oh. That sucks."
And I think that advice needs to be given a bit... better? Even my guidance counselors tended to feed me "tell them how you feel" advice. Except the snotty girl is glad when you tell her "I feel bad when you..." Awesome - mission, like, so accomplished.
Mostly, however, it lays on two groups - parents and kids. Parents can't always help what their kids are influenced to do by hormones, friends, friends of the opposite gender, or if their kids are just mean. (And it's also true that some parents are former bullies themselves and don't have a problem with how their kids treat others, because they do the adult version of bullying to the adult version of the kids their children make miserable.) But I think a lot of parents allow bad behavior because they want to be their children's friends, and you know what? That's great if you can be, but then raise a child who you'd want to be friends with. I see so many parents let their kids be so rude and obnoxious and they just stare or smile nervously, like they know they should do something to curb it but have no idea what. Here's what you do - grab your child when he knocks the old man's cane over and make him pick the cane up for the man and apologize. Is he too young to know better? Good, that's when you start teaching him.
But there's a point where your kid knows better. It doesn't mean he or she won't necessarily make a mistake and allow their friends to do something wrong or do something wrong themselves. I let a friend do two things that were very nasty and I still have huge regrets, to the point where I question whether or not I was a good person like people thought. (I know it sounds silly. I just had no other friends and was willing to do anything to keep them, which resulted in lack of judgments. But... still.) But there's mistakes and there's being a jerk every day of someone else's life, and at some point kids are old enough to realize they're probably making that kid miserable, and mean enough to do it anyway because it makes them feel better. No, stupid anti-bullying assemblies (LOL LOL LOL LOL oh god, just, LOL) and bad parenting doesn't help, but at some point, kids just have to take responsibility for their own actions.
no subject
Me, I thought no potential argument against the top-dog clique was a battle I could forgo. It made for a miserable year, but it also turned out to earn me a lot of underground respect, especially from the wannabes going through a permanent hazing ritual.
no subject
Stuff like this makes me want to go into teaching just so I can be the cool teacher who actually knows how to give advice. But I'm otherwise not that interested.