author_by_night (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
author_by_night) wrote2009-08-05 08:25 am
author_by_night) wrote2009-08-05 08:25 am
Entry tags:
Spinsterhood/Catladyhood
So apparently, Jennifer Aniston has declared that she is okay with being a "lonely single girl."
This is hardly the first time I've seen it declared that to be single is to naturally be lonely. I even read an article that suggested learning how to play one-person games and not being shy to order pizza for yourself, because of course nobody associates with the single girl. People see the single girl as forever alone, loveless and desperate.
Is there ever truth in that? Well, let me look at myself, a single girl headed for "spinsterhood." (Actually, I think the modern term is "cat lady." Because women with significant others hate cats.)
- I have a job that helps me pay for my basic needs.
- I have a supportive family, who I love.
- I have supportive friends, who I love.
- I'm generally happy with where I am.
Now, of course a man in my life would be nice. And I'm not going to lie, I've had guys I was interested in, and I've felt longing for a relationship. If I met a man this week and discovered we both had feelings for each other and both did not want to be apart, I'd gladly pursue something deeper.
But why does every woman have to be in a relationship to be considered complete? Queen Elizabeth I defeated the Spanish Armada without a man. Back then, you had the choice of being married to a man and popping babies every year until you finally died in childbirth, or being unmarried and making history. I'd personally rather make history.
When two people find each other, a special bond is made. It's definitely something worth wanting for oneself. But it's not anything that should be an obligation, because platonic love counts for a lot - as does self-confidence.
Headed for spinsterhood/catladyhood? Eh, hopefully I'll find a man someday. But if not - I know I will be okay.
This is hardly the first time I've seen it declared that to be single is to naturally be lonely. I even read an article that suggested learning how to play one-person games and not being shy to order pizza for yourself, because of course nobody associates with the single girl. People see the single girl as forever alone, loveless and desperate.
Is there ever truth in that? Well, let me look at myself, a single girl headed for "spinsterhood." (Actually, I think the modern term is "cat lady." Because women with significant others hate cats.)
- I have a job that helps me pay for my basic needs.
- I have a supportive family, who I love.
- I have supportive friends, who I love.
- I'm generally happy with where I am.
Now, of course a man in my life would be nice. And I'm not going to lie, I've had guys I was interested in, and I've felt longing for a relationship. If I met a man this week and discovered we both had feelings for each other and both did not want to be apart, I'd gladly pursue something deeper.
But why does every woman have to be in a relationship to be considered complete? Queen Elizabeth I defeated the Spanish Armada without a man. Back then, you had the choice of being married to a man and popping babies every year until you finally died in childbirth, or being unmarried and making history. I'd personally rather make history.
When two people find each other, a special bond is made. It's definitely something worth wanting for oneself. But it's not anything that should be an obligation, because platonic love counts for a lot - as does self-confidence.
Headed for spinsterhood/catladyhood? Eh, hopefully I'll find a man someday. But if not - I know I will be okay.
no subject
no subject