Writer's Block: Significant Choices

[author_by_night]

[Error: unknown template qotd] That's a really difficult question! It would depend entirely on so many factors - the situation, the people involved, the actual choice involved, etc.

I do find it annoying when girls and women willingly sacrifice their friendships for men. Here's an example - a relative and I will be discussing how she had a certain friend most of her life. This friend was with her thick and thin through everything.

This is usually where the conversation goes:

Me: So... what happened to Mary Sue anyway?

Relative: Well, you know, I met Gary Stu, got married. :)

Wait, what? "I got married and moved 87 miles away" I can understand. "Raising five children makes you a little busy" I can understand. "I went to med school and barely had time to eat dinner with Gary Stu" I can understand. But "I met Gary Stu, got married" - really? I don't know, I can't imagine forsaking a friendship only because I found someone. Any significant other has to understand that as much as I love him, my friends are important too. They are a priority.

That said, on some level I think any significant other will come first. And honestly, my friends would have to understand that. I hope that I will one day find a guy who I can mix my friends with, or who I make friends through at the very least. I DO hold my friends nearer and dearer than a lot of people, but then, any guy worthy of my time would understand that. One thing that really bothers me about some books and movies and stuff is when characters will actively choose a guy over all their friends for no real reason.

On the other hand, some think that people should never choose their significant others... which I don't think is fair either. When you're truly in love with someone, there are times when they will - and should - come first.

ETA: So I guess the short answer is... both, depending on the circumstances.

Comments

agree 100%

[xstarblackx.livejournal.com]

i agree with you... you covered all areas. it is hard to say which way go with out having a situation as to why you would have to choose between one or the other. by the way love the names!!!!

Re: agree 100%

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's too hard to know if I don't have something to work with.

And thanks, glad you liked the names. :D Mary Sue and Gary Stu have replaced Jane Doe and John Doe! (For me at least.)

[diana-molloy.livejournal.com]

Significant other. Yes, if SO is being an ass blah blah but if I have chosen this person as my forever person then when it comes down to it I choose them.

[sixth-light.livejournal.com]

My thought upon seeing this question is that if your SO and friend are putting you in a position where you have to "choose", and neither is willing to compromise - they can both stuff off. Good friends and good SOs will understand that you have obligations to both of them, and will be willing to work with that. Unless it's a life-or-death thing in which case, well, there's a reason your SO is your SO.

[kennytrent.livejournal.com]

as a matter of fact...my wife and I only really have arguments over 2 subjects. Her family and my friends. I apparently spend put my friends first too often and according to her, never her first. This is of course not true. When she's at work and I dn't want to spend the evening at home doing nothing but waiting for her to get home at 11 or 12...I put my friends frst. When we are both off and she goes to visit her mom leaving me at home to do whatever till 4 or 5, I put friends forst. When we make oplans to go see a movie or visit my parents or do anything other then sit at home watching TV, I put her first. You see a pattern? So yeah...it really depends, but always remember this...if you put your SO first, they will put you first as well.