87 Tips for a Successful Internet Experience

[author_by_night]

87 Tips for a Successful Internet Experience:

87. Juvenile inside jokes are juvenile. Do not bother decoding them, especially when site admins warn you they are stupid.

86. Anyone who purposely mispells words because it's the "cool" thing to do online finds themselves on the bottom of that community's totem poll. Unless you're on Facebook, MySpace, or a crappy chatroom.

85. To many an internet user, "nerd" is a compliment, not an insult, so don't bother using that one. Unless you're on Facebook or MySpace.

84. Don't expect Facebook and MySpace to speak for all of the internet.

83. Don't feed the troll.

>82. Get a feel for what the atmosphere of the site/community is before posting.

81. Want homework help because you couldn't be bothered to read the book? Don't go to a forum/community for said book and ask us to do your homework. We won't. Instead, we'll snark.

80. Read. The. Rules Or at least the basic ones.

79. Sockpuppets tend to be caught. Even three years later. (Google search "Charlotte Lennox" and "msscribe.")

78. If it sounds innocent, it isn't.

Anyone have any more? I'd love to make this a (fun) list. I may mix up the order after. But yes, feel free to add on!

(And references to specific things are fine. After all, 87 and 79 are direct fandom references!)

ETA: Sorry if any of you got the coding earlier. C&P on rich text doesn't work well.

Comments

[sheryden.livejournal.com]

You need something about PEOPLE WHO TALK ONLY IN CAPSLOCK.

That's a pet peeve of mine. ;)

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Oh I know. I mean, I admit I sometimes capslock a little, but when everything's in capslock, my eyes start to hurt.

[sheryden.livejournal.com]

Oh, I capslock at times, too, particularly when I'm miffed. But I've run across some that talk only in capslock. I mean, it's the internet version of shouting. I may shout occasionally in real life, but I damn sure don't shout all time time.

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU OMG

Ahem.

[frankieb-sq87.livejournal.com]

77. Don't believe everything you read. This is especially true in Wikipedia, chatrooms or Face-Space.

76. Don't attempt to explain online to RL.

75. Assume everyone is either a 14-year-old-fangurl or an FBI agent. Don't say anything you wouldn't want either of those people to hear.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

All of those are true! I especially agree with 75. You have no way of knowing who you're talking to.

And yeah... explaining online things can be hard. Especially to people who are against the online world to begin with.

[daksian.livejournal.com]

Here's another:

74. Avoid divisive subjects of discussion. Politics and religion are fine. Harry Potter shipping and Twilight are not.
;)

[vytresna.livejournal.com]

Oh, win.

[dreamer-marie.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

OH my god I just hurt myself laughing. SO TRUE!

[parsimonia.livejournal.com]

Er, well there are already some Rules of the Internet, as listed on Encyclopedia Dramatica and derived from 4chan and /b/. (FYI, the site is generally NSFW and shouldn't be taken 100% seriously.)

[vytresna.livejournal.com]

4Chan and derivatives are my virtual arch-nemeses, those vast wellsprings of spoiler-memes and shock images and general trolling. Hissss...

[parsimonia.livejournal.com]

Heh. I find them kind of fun in a detached sort of way. Because while I would absolutely hate to have something spoiled for me, I can see the humour in it were I on the other side of the fence.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

True, but they seem to apply mainly TO 4Chan and /b/.

There's also another one that's popular, but again, seems to apply more to snarkier places. "Nobody really likes you," etc.

[parsimonia.livejournal.com]

Still though, a number of them do make sense:

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
14. Do not argue with trolls - it means they win
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labelled can be hated.
33. Lurk more - it's never enough.
34. If it exists, there is porn of it.
37. You cannot divide by zero.

[vytresna.livejournal.com]

73. If you are bombarded by image macros, don't worry. You have not made a fool of yourself in front of a crowd: just a hive-mind.

[dreamer-marie.livejournal.com]

72. Being banned from a forum for being an asshole is not the same thing as being imprisoned by the government for dissent.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

*Snorts*

[darth-firefly.livejournal.com]

If you ask yourself - Is this funny? - it's not.

Oh fun!

[ani-bester.livejournal.com]

# - Know the ACTUAL definition of Freedom of Speech, the knowledge will prevent you from looking like an idiot if a site or admin or mod prevents you from saying or posting something.

# - A gallery of fanart is NOT like a clip art book. Do not use it as such. Fanartists are scary when riled up.

#- Do not try to defend yourself on fandom wank. You'll only end up worse than you started as they don't care about "your side" just the LOLZ and the drama.

# - If someone can overreact to it, they will. Just expect it.

# - Try not to let your tin hat be too obvious. For example, the entirety of another fandom is NOT on the sci-fi channel's payroll, nor is Sean Astin conspiring against Elija Wood's true sexuality. *

# - if you find yourself actually infuriated to the point of a capslock level flame war with SMILEY405 and yet have never talked tot hat person before now and you wouldn't know them in RL if they came up and gave you 50 bucks, you might want to considering getting of the internet before you humiliate yourself.

# - the internet is eternal. What yu do today may come back to bite you 10 years later. Keep that in mind.

# - It has not yet been ruled illegal for you boss to see your myspace page.

# - Don't have the chan art in plain view. The law, US law at least, doesn't protect it as much as you might think it does.

# - That triple X fic you wrote where Starscream gets it on with Megatron is NOT high art. It's porn. Just be honest with yourself and the world.



* In case you are wondering about my first example there, in there an original Battlestar Galactica there is a fan who is not shy about sharing is opinion that the entire NEw BSG fandom consists of stealth marketers and Sci-Fi channel employees who falsify the internet to make it *look* like the show is popular. Adn that's is more sane argument. I really have no words for him. In all my years in HP I've never met anyone like him. Not even Msscribe.

[barbara-the-w.livejournal.com]

There's the addendum to #87:

If you DO figure it out, share it with everyone. Nothing makes a juvenile inside joke look more juvenile than public knowledge of it.

But then, I? am eeeeevil that way.

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Barb - you DO realize this entry is public? ;)

[barbara-the-w.livejournal.com]

*POL*

M'dear, if a majority of the people who read your journal don't know my opinion of 87 by now....?

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

*Laughs*

More like my opinion of 87 by now. ;) And they do. Actually though, I don't think too many flisters are subbers anymore... a lot of them know because when it comes down to it, 87 wasn't a very well kept secret. A LOT of people have told me they figured it out because they'd been in fandom long enough. Or because other subbers told them. I think that's the real joke, you're right.