Am I a new member of the Cult of Mean?

[author_by_night]

So at a site, I read a fanfic that was... well, to say the least, it needed a lot of work. The chapters ranged from about two paragraphs to one page long, and the author really doesn't have a sense of punctuation.

So I left what I thought was a very constructively critical review.

Here's what I said:

Okay. This is promising, but there are a few problems. I really hope you understand that I am not trying to flame or be offensive - take these as tips.

First, you can't start your first story with "testing." It throws people off, you know? Plus, it's a little annoying when you expect to see a story and see "testing."

Second, you really need to write longer chapters. Some of them are a little too short, and could easily be merged. In fairness, a lot of people on this site post short chapters - even I used to - but it is easier to be drawn into a story with longer ones. Here's an idea - write your fic in Notepad, Word or another Word Processor, then post. That way, you won't run out of time.

Finally, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, you need to work on your punctuation a bit. All sentences end with a period, and there should be a comma before the last quotation. For instance:

"Yes," said Mark, laughing. "I agree."

I hope that helped. If you have any more questions, drop me a PM.

Well, apparently, I very much offended the person, as they replied:

Ok Ok I see what you mean OK BUT I AM DOING IT IN WORD BUT RATHER FEEL THAT I CANT TYPE SO MUCH SO SORTLY SO GO #%^#$^#@ $^&@^$ %&*&#$$#% [INFINITE]

And, naturally, their next reply was"beter now". (Written like that).

I'm not sure what I said that merited that response.

On one hand, I do see where I could've been a bit harsh. I mean, it was obviously a first fic, and truth be told, the site in question - ecfans.com - really isn't like Sugar Quill or Fiction Alley. The purpose isn't fanfiction - the fanfiction was a site add-on.

On the other hand, it is still public writing, and I feel you are expected to recieve any feedback.

Thoughts?

Comments

[ziasudra.livejournal.com]

It depends on how concrit is phrased -- that's the part you can control, since it isn't possible to control the other person's feelings and reactions.

I tend to be more blunt with people I beta for regularly. We're pretty much friends, and as a result, I more or less know their personality, and how they would interpret my concrit. I know it's different with each person, but the concrit you left would be along the line of something I'd write only to my regular authors. Polite, yes (very), but I still perceive it as a bit on the blunt side.

Now, I know that plenty of people hate circumlocution, but I find that most authors usually appreciate roundabout concrit, or concrit that aren't phrased as concrit.

So I might phrase your first point as something like this:
I enjoyed your story -- it's a really promising start! For a first story, this doesn't read like a test to me at all. In fact, you might even gain more readers if "testing" isn't in the story heading, since there are long-time readers on this site who shy away from trying out new authors, but I think your story is worth getting them to give it a try.

Something like that :)

It's the classic "I statement," "you statement" phrasing that they taught me in school. Conveying the same thing in first person is much less blunt than second person, however polite a second-person critique is otherwise phrased:
I noticed you have really short chapters. You know, I wouldn't mind reading longer ones if you feel inspired to write more;
I noticed several of your sentences have punctuation errors -- not the end of the world, I just happen to be one of those people who notices technical details like that. Etc.

Of course, in the end you might still get a flame-y response. And really, there wasn't any reason for you to warrant such a CAPSLOCK!reply to begin with. The person was being immature.

Although it seems like the person did think over your concrit. "Beter now" is a sign that at least (grumpily) s/he's heard you ;)


(I should probably qualify all this by saying that I'm extremely non-confrontational in writing and especially in speech, as in, I'd score 0/10 or 1/10 on personality tests that would have a "confrontation" category. So do keep my non-confrontational lens perspective in mind :))

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Interesting points! I'm not sure what to make of the "beter now", though. If they'd thought stuff over, why not edit the post? It's just strange.

But perhaps I could've refrained from the first part, about not putting in "testing". But the rest... I don't know, when you only have a page as a chapter, you should have a reason.