Sorry it bummed you out... just keep in mind the snark is not "I hate Stephenie Meyer and thinks she kicks puppies." And some of the snark is also in recognition of intentional stuff - Charlie and Bella have an awkward relationship on purpose. It's not really funny, but it's okay to make the fact lighter. And Jessica is supposed to be on the ditzy girl side.

And the Swans being the founders makes the "ZOMGness" a little more understandable, I'll give you that. And I guess they are a small town.