author_by_night: (coexist by unknown)
This isn't part of the original meme, but it is a proper blog.

So, let's talk about bullying. It's hard to ignore it, because everyone's talking about it these days; what it means, how to prevent it, will implementing experiments where kids have to shun one another help, etc.

Here's my question - what exactly constitutes bullying? In my opinion, the term can not only be overrused, but in fact, underused.
When bullying's not the right word )

All thoughts are welcome!
author_by_night: (zoetrain by hobbitseeker)
So a friend of mine on FB posted a link to your video, which is about the importance of girls being modest and how guys want a girl who is modest, not sexy. (And no, this is not satire.)

Now, I think that there's an aspect of this that is relatively well meaning. Women should not feel or be forced to sexualize themselves, and there's far too much of that. And some people choose to dress modestly, for religious reasons or otherwise, and that's fine. When it's a choice.

But to imply that a woman MUST be modest for you? That is when it is no longer a choice, but a demand. "You understand why I need your modesty." There's the word "need." Not, "I love you as you are, even if you don't wear short skirts." It's, "I need you to dress a certain way." It's when you say, "girls with integrity are hard to find these days." Integrity is about being yourself. Integrity is about not giving a shit what men say we should wear, and that goes a billion different ways.

My other issue with the modesty argument is... why do you need it so badly? What is wrong with you that you can't look at me if I'm not being "modest?" Isn't the Christian thing to do keep your eyes on my face? Does the Bible not say, "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass?" Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn't women being immodest, but certain thoughts being "immodest."

Do I think there's another sad extreme to this? Absolutely. But they're both extremes, and neither are okay.

Damn straight I feel comfortable with who I am. You don't get a say in why that is.
author_by_night: (Friends by Joyfulsong)
So apparently I've offended people on the internet. This is serious, guys. Really, really serious. I should realize that people on the internet mustn't be expected to actually read things before reacting, or read them carefully anyway.

So here's a well-worded version of everything I want to say right now. No offense.

Even though I love dogs, I have a cat. It isn't that I don't like dogs, because I do like dogs, even small dogs that could be mistaken for cats. Not that this is a slight against small dogs or small people. Small dogs and short people are awesome. But of course, so are big dogs and tall people. Medium sized dogs and medium sized people are also very good. Because I like everyone. There is no animal I don't like. I also like plants. I love plants. Please don't think I don't love you, tree outside my bedroom window! I LOVE YOU! I also love the sky and the clouds and that big, big moon. It's just that when I went to the animal shelter, they happened to have cats. So that's what I ended up getting. I got my cat because she was the most gentle - nothing against the cats that weren't gentle, our personalities just went together better. Not that my personality doesn't mean I don't like all sorts of cats and people and plants and rocks and moon cycles.

.... oops I forgot to mention I love fruit. Now I've offended fruit lovers. :(
author_by_night: (Well Shit by author_by_night)
Alleged Sandusky victim bullied out of school

(Warning: Possible triggers.)

This is partly why victims of those sorts of crimes never report it. Because there's always assholes who decide to blame the victim.

I think some of the problem is that this involves a sport most people in America are obsessed with,  and some of it is that these people - Sandusky and Paterno - had been seen as essentially Gods for the work they did. The latter, I can definitely understand. And even with football, I try and respect that in some communities, that's basically the thing that brings the community together. Even my community is pretty obsessed with sports, although I'd say only a little more so than most places in the US. So... I get why people are so worked up over it. They get emotional over sports.

Plus, it wasn't just the sports. They were seen as Gods within their communities for charity work and being generally inspirational.

But here's the thing - Paterno should have told the cops once his school didn't. Would it have been a hard decision? Yes, but he would have come out a better person. And Sandusky... there is no justifying his actions. His seemingly good deeds were just a way for him to fool people and hurt kids, and being a football coach does not mean you're incapable of doing wrong.

The whole thing makes me sick, and I don't really want to talk about it, but I think it needs to be said how moronic it is that people are blaming the victims instead of the ones responsible.
author_by_night: (Not Amused by dragonydreams)
I know saying the meanest, edgiest thing you can think of is the thing online, that's why we have CollegeHumor and, but even if that is your thing... there is a time and a place to make jokes about things that actually aren't funny. A disaster that has killed thousands of people is not the right time. (Not to mention that even sites like CollegeHumor and wouldn't sink that low, although CH did make a Grease parody that involved someone being date raped.)

What happened in Japan was a tragedy. It wasn't a celebrity saying something stupid. It wasn't a butthurt idiot. It was a tragedy that has left thousands of people dead, missing, and otherwise displaced. Bringing up Pearl Harbor doesn't make you look witty or funny, it makes you look like an asshole.

And to the people who mean it: Ever notice that America's done horrible things too? Did you know many people hate us? How would you feel if someone told you we "deserved" a tragedy because of something those affected had nothing to do with?

Mostly though, I think the people saying that Japan deserved it are trolls. And while no, they don't mean it, it's still ignorant and wrong.

Screening comments because it's a public entry and all that jazz.
author_by_night: (Ravenclaw)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Quick note: The "worst" section has minor spoilers for the first Twilight book and a major spoiler for Son of a Witch, the sequel to Wicked.

The Best and Worst )
author_by_night: (Well Shit by author_by_night)
An innocent teen girl, raped outside the homecoming dance.

Onlookers didn't call 911, or even notify adults there (and there usually were some teachers acting as chaperones, IIRC).

Meanwhile on customers_suck, a poster says a woman died of an OD while clubgoers stepped over her body. One of them finally off-handedly mentioned it - but only because she was complaining about the taps.

Yesterday, Mom and I were driving when an ambulance came barreling down the street. One car refused to pull over.

I don't care how hot the person you're making out with is. I don't care how much fun you're having dancing. I don't care how drunk you are. (If you can still find your car keys and drive into a tree drunk, you can call 911 drunk.)  I don't care if you're on your way to work, to class, to the movies, shopping on Black Friday, or whatever else.

If someone is in need of help, you get off your rear end and help them in any way possible.

I guess I just have such a hard time understanding people. Why is their fun more important than another life?

Okay, so many in the case of the kids, some were worried they'd get their friends into trouble. But their "friends" were committing a horrible crime. (It disturbs me even more that kids were gang-raping, to be honest.)

Of course, I also have to wonder how not even chaperones present noticed the screams. Were none of them occasionally checking the doors and the parking lot?

People, we need to take care of each other. We're all we've really got when it comes down to it.

Plea Deals

Jun. 29th, 2009 12:48 pm
author_by_night: (zoetrain by hobbitseeker)
Apparently Chris Brown got a plea deal. And people are backing him up because come on, how could Rhianna not have deserved it? Women can be mean too!

My answer? Yes, women can be mean too. There are very horribly abusive women out there. People are people, and people can be twisted and vile, no matter whether they're male or female.

That said... look at  the photos of Rhianna. Or don't, they're not pretty, but if you saw them, think back to them.

Except in the case of righteous self-defense, you do not hurt someone you love that badly. You do not cause them hospitalization. Period. And Chris Brown has said that he was not threatened at all - he simply lost his cool and beat her up.

I've known people who went through, or were going through as I knew them, physical abuse. It's horrible. It's inexcusable. These sorry excuses for men should have been locked up. 

Instead, there they were, beating these women they vowed to love and protect in sickness and in health as long as they both shall lived because dinner wasn't on the table at exactly 6:00. It happens more than we think.

There's also verbal abuse, which happens more often (and often leads to physical abuse - ask someone I know who was thrown across the room by a guy who was, before, "just a bit clingy sometimes") - but that's another matter.

It is never okay, and it sickens me that yet another abuser is getting away with it.

P.S. Used icon because that is an example of a good, healthy relationship.

author_by_night: (Default)
Disabled show host causes controversy

In one chat room, a father lamented that Burnell being on the show forced him to have conversations with his child about disabilities.

Um... so what?

Now, I realize the show is meant for little kids, but.... I just think that the fact that parents are implying that a TV show host shouldn't be a host because of a disability shows that society still has a lot to learn.

Why is it bad to teach your kids that there's different people out there? If you expose them to it early, they'll learn there's nothing to be afraid of.

And you know what? When I read the headline, I looked at the picture before reading article, and it took me a while before I even noticed she only had one arm. I did notice her pretty smile right away, though.

I read the comments, and here's what one says:

Do any of you who think this is so "unbelievable" actually have kids? It's very hard, as a parent, to have every social issue jammed down the throat of your kids before they even hit first grade.

I'm no parent, but I'd rather my kids be exposed early on, when they're young enough to matter-of-factly accept that everyone is different, than when they have a disabled classmate and I find out they've made fun of him because I never taught my kid that it's okay to be different.

author_by_night: (secrets by onsunset)
Earlier, I had a post on board etiquette... have taken it down because I felt there needed to be changes. So I've made them. ;)

I do want to note that I don't actually have a messageboard for books, but I go to many. And I wanted to play on the title "Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter." ;)  I also want to note that these do not just apply to book forums, but all forums - I simply go to book forums more so than other forums, so I had a bit more to say specifically on that.


author_by_night: (oh shiz by alapsuscalami)

How do you document fandom, when fandom's getting more like fanfiction each day?

ETA: Play on a song from Rent. Just for the uninformed.

author_by_night: (Headdesk by missandrony)
So my Dad's appendicitis surgery that was supposed to be at 6:30? Heh.

At 6:25, two Nurses came in to move him. They didn't even look at him, speak to us, or anything.

They took him to the other room, muttered the number vaguely, and... that was it.

Mom and I waited. And waited.

Mom went to the room he was suppoesd to be in. No Dad, just some random guy. Eventually, we got the right room...

And were told - this was at seven o'clock - that it might be "a few more hours before surgery."

Yeah, I'm irritated. Though it's not the surgeon's fault; I'm more irritated with how some of the staff treated us and Dad.

And I feel sorry for him.


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